THE TRUMP DICTIONARY

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#IStandWithUkraine (statement): 1. Online statement of solidarity for the people and country of Ukraine after the 2022 invasion by Russian forces;
2. Global movement that has energized people to donate, pray, and support displaced Ukrainian refugees through big and small acts of compassion;
3. Online sentiment that is not voiced by Donald Trump or more ardent supporters of the MAGA movement;
4. Hashtag statement posted by your niece alongside: #SpringBreak #ShotsForLife #PartyTillYouPuke.
See also: Ukraine

“Two months after Putin launched an unprovoked and unjustified attack on Ukraine, Kyiv still stands. President Zelensky and his democratically-elected government remain in power. We will continue to support Ukrainians in their fight to defend their homeland.” -Joseph Biden, Tweeted April 2022

#TRE45ON (statement): 1. Online hashtag that often trends whenever Donald Trump makes a statement in support of Russia or other foreign autocrats at the expense of the United States;
2. Statement also used in relation to those within Trump’s circle or of MAGA allies and media personalities.
Not to be confused with: Tree 45 Son, the charitable organization that is dedicated to seeding 45 trees or 45 sons by the end of each year.

“As a matter of policy, we try not to take advice from anyone who praises President Putin and his military strategy, which I believe is what happened there.” -Jen Psaki, in relation to statements made by Donald Trump, 2022

1 for 38 Kasich (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Republican rival, John Kasich, during the 2016 primary election;
2. Governor of Ohio;
3. Term that references how Kasich only won one election out of thirty-nine, despite the truth being that it was actually one win out of forty-two elections;
4. Person who voted for Joe Biden.
See also: Jeb Bush

“Lyin’ Ted Cruz and 1 for 38 Kasich are unable to beat me on their own so they have to team up (collusion) in a two on one. Shows weakness!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted April 2016

11780 (noun): 1. The exact number of votes that Donald Trump needed to win the state of Georgia during the 2020 election cycle;
2. The exact number of votes that Donald Trump tried to pressure Georgia’s Republican Secretary of State, Brad Raffensperger into “finding” days after the elections;
3. The number of calories typically consumed by Trump during a meal.

“There’s nothing wrong with saying, you know, um, that you’ve recalculated… All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have.” -Donald Trump, to Georgia’s Secretary of State, 2020

2 Corinthians (noun): 1. Misspoken reference by Trump in 2016 to Second Corinthians, a book from the Christian Bible;
2. Tangible example of Trump’s lack of knowledge of the books in the Bible;
3. “The whole ballgame;”
4. Two people from the ancient city of Corinth.
See also: Baby Christian

“You know, when I talk about the Bible it’s very personal so I don’t want to get into verses… The Bible means a lot to me but I don’t want to get into specifics.” -Donald Trump, 2015

2016 (noun): 1. The two-thousand and sixteenth calendar year of the common era;
2. Leap year;
3. The year Harambe the Gorilla died
4. The year Donald Trump was elected president of an actual country.

“America will no longer settle for anything but the best.” – Donald Trump Victory Speech, 2016

2020 (noun): 1. The two-thousand and twentieth calendar year of the common era;
2. The year a global pandemic locked down most of the world’s population;
3. The year everyone became obsessed with a narcissist who owns too many tigers;
4. The year a narcissist who doesn’t own tigers lost the US Presidential Election to Joseph Biden;
See also: January 6th

“If I lose to him, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I will never speak to you again. “You’ll never see me again.” -Donald Trump, 2020

2024 (noun): 1. The two-thousand and twenty-fourth calendar year of the common era;
2. Leap year;
3. The year that the sun will turn as black as a sackcloth made of hair, and the whole moon will become as blood, and all will cry out with one voice, “F*ck the Electoral College.”

“I say this: I am looking at it very seriously, beyond seriously.” -Donald Trump in reference to running in 2024

5th Columnist (noun): 1. Historical term applied to any group or person within a country that actively undermines their nation in favor of an enemy group or nation;
2. Contemporary term applied to supporters of Donald Trump and Republicans in general, often in relation to their support of Russia or the January 6th coup attempt;
3. Term that Trump thinks applies to himself when he puts five columns in the buildings he owns.
See also: White Supremacist Goblin

“Why do I care what is going on in the conflict between Ukraine and Russia? And I’m serious… Why shouldn’t I root for Russia? Which I am.” -Tucker Carlson, Fox News and re-broadcast by Russian State TV, 2022

7-Hour Phone Gap (noun): 1. Reference to a seven-hour lapse in time on January 6, 2021, during the events of the Capitol Insurrection when Donald Trump did not use his phone to converse or talk with anyone;
2. Suspicious amount of time for a sitting president to not be communicating with anyone during a suspected coup attempt;
3. Evidence submitted to the January 6th Committee to support Trump’s complacency in the insurrection;
4. Literally the longest amount of time that Trump has ever gone without using a phone.
See also: Burner Phones

“Logs turned over to the House of Representatives panel investigating the attack showed no calls placed to or by Trump between 11:17 a.m. and 6:54 p.m. while his supporters violently rioted at the Capitol as lawmakers were set to certify Trump’s 2020 election loss.” -Reuters, March 2022

9/11 (noun): 1. September 11, 2001;
2. Solemn anniversary that commemorates the worst terrorist attacks ever committed on American soil, when hundreds of American were tragically killed;
3. Day when Trump claimed that his building became the tallest in Manhattan;
4. Day when Trump claimed he witnessed Muslims cheering in Jersey City;
5. Day when Trump claimed that he “helped a little bit” to clear rubble and that he assisted first responders at Ground Zero.”

“40 Wall Street actually was the second-tallest building in downtown Manhattan, and it was actually before the World Trade Center the tallest, and then when they built the World Trade Center it became known as the second-tallest, and now it’s the tallest.” -Donald Trump, hours after the World Trade Center attacks, 2001.

9/elective (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for 9/11;
See also: 9/11

“It’s very close to my heart because I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen down at 7-11, down at the World Trade Center right after it came down, and I saw the greatest people I’ve ever seen in action.” -Donald Trump, 2016

A Disaster (noun): 1. Something that is very bad, awful, terrible, or the worst possible thing that can happen;
2. An often-used word choice by Donald Trump to catastrophize an event or a policy that he does not agree with;
3. Hyperbole used by Trump to signal to his followers that they should be angry or afraid at whatever idea he is talking about;
4. A word Trump never uses to describe actual disasters such as climate change, crumbling infrastructure, or the Trump Presidency.

“The Veterans Administration is a disaster, the V.A., it’s a disaster.” -Donald Trump, 2016

A Doocy (noun): 1. Steve Doocy, Fox news anchor and co-host of Fox and Friends, a favorite show of Donald Trump, where he can often call in while the hosts sit uncomfortably in silence;
2. Peter Doocy, son of Steve Doocy and White House correspondent for Fox News under the Biden Administration who has been known to ask useless questions and often provoke sarcastic responses from Joe Biden;
3. Term used when someone knowingly or unknowingly creates an obviously stupid mess on the carpet that everyone else in the room has to smell and roll their eyes at, while pretending it’s all part of the normal news cycle.
See also: Stupid Son of a B*tch

“If Al Roker’s kids are watching, my dad can beat up your dad any day.” -Peter Doocy, 2004

A Lot of People are Saying… (phrase): 1. Phrase often used to add false weight to claim;
2. Phrase often used disclaim responsibility;
3. Phrase often used to setup a straw man argument;
4. Evidence that Donald Trump may be hearing voices that no one else can hear;
Synonyms include: “Some say,” “People think,” and “Many people are saying.”

“You know, a lot of people are saying that, and a lot of people are saying that bad things are happening out there.” -Donald Trump, 2016

A Mooch (noun): 1. Any consecutive 11-day period of time;
2. A Mooch falls between your common 7-day week and a month.
3. Standard unit of time that is so short it is almost meaningless;
4. Pagan holiday that falls in July and is celebrated almost exclusively by 24-hour news anchors.
Similar to: A Jack Koehler

“Reince is a f*cking paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac… I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own c*ck. I’m not trying to build my own brand off the f*cking strength of the president. I’m here to serve the country.” -Anthony Scaramucci, 2017

A+ (adjective): 1. Highest mark one can receive, mostly commonly given in school grading system;
2. Most common mark that Trump gives himself;
3. Most uncommon mark Trump earned during his own schooling.

“I would give myself an A+.” -Donald Trump in reference to his job so far as President, 2018

A-List (noun): 1. Top quality and/or highly recognized names, often used in reference to celebrities;
2. Distinction often used by Donald Trump and applied to lesser known and outdated celebrities who show him support;
3. Roseanne Barr, Gene Simmons, James Woods, Scott Baio, and the guy who played Hercules.
See also: The Elites

“God bless real Michigan. God bless real America. God bless the greatest president in our lifetime, Donald Trump,” Ted Nugent, 2020

ANTIFA (abbreviation): 1. An abbreviation meaning Anti-Fascist;
2. Unorganized collection of protestors and more violent left-leaning activists who actively fight members of the Alt-Right and other pro-fascists or racist groups;
3. Label that Donald Trump assigns to any movement who opposes him, such as Black Lives Matter, MeToo, and anyone trying to sell him a salad.
See also: Radical Left Democrats

“Somebody’s got to do something about ANTIFA and the left.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Age of Trump, The (noun): 1. Historic and frightening age in the history of the United States where politics, foreign relations, health and safety, and many aspects of everyday life were influenced by the rise of Donald Trump as a candidate, president, and a constant unignorable omnipresent force;
2. Era in American life when a section of the population became radicalized to extreme politics, often causing them to lose friends, family, and (in some cases) launch violent insurrection against the government;
3. Period in the history of the United States when Thanksgiving dinners became a lot more awkward;
4. 75 years old (as of the publication of this book).

“In case you haven’t noticed, the fact that HE’s in all our faces like no king, no emperor, no autocrat, no president, no entertainer, no performer ever is hardly being covered, hardly even acknowledged from day to day, week to week, month to month, or even sadly, given how long the Trumpian moment has already lasted, year to year.” -Tom Engelhardt, Salon, 2019

Agun (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for the word again;
Not to be confused with: “A gun,” which are things that Trump supports taking from citizens.

“Take the firearms first and then go to court, because that’s another system. Because a lot of times, by the time you go to court, it takes so long to go to court, to get the due process procedures. I like taking the guns early.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Alt-Right (noun): 1. Umbrella term that is often prescribed to people of far-right ideologies usually grouped around the core ideal of preserving white identity;
2. Donald Trump’s core group of voters;
3. Newest music craze to sweep the Icelandic electro-synth-metal scene.
See also: The Base

“The new left doctrine of racial struggle in favor of non-Whites only, a product of decolonization and the defeat of nationalists by egalitarians after WWII, must be repudiated and Whites must be allowed to take their own side in their affairs.” -The Fight for the Alt Right, The Right Stuff, January 2016

Alternate Electors (plural noun): 1. Slate of alternative representatives sent to the electoral college from the states, who are given the responsibility of casting their vote for president;
2. Fake electors appointed by state legislatures loyal to Donald Trump in an effort to overturn the legitimate results of the 2020 US Presidential Election;
3. Part of a coup attempt by Trump and allies to steal the 2020 election and which hinged on Mike Pence rejecting certification of the legitimate results, which he refused to do;
4. Name often given to an understudy on the musical Hamilton.

“I only wish that my friend, Mike Pence, had that additional courage to send the [election] results back to the legislatures because it all happened so quickly.” -Donald Trump, 2021

Alternate Reality (noun): 1. Fictional settings, often used in the genres of science fiction or fantasy;
2. World in which Donald Trump pretends or falsely claims that he is popular and always right;
3. Trump regularly uses the weight of alternate reality to gain voter support, using a similar method to gaslighting;
4. Might also refer to a timeline where Trump lost the election, as opposed to our own… the darkest timeline.
See also: Alternative Facts

“With all his talent, and the ability to raise money and draw large crowds, the President still lives in an alternate reality. He really does. People say, ‘Well he lies about this, that and the other.’ But he isn’t lying. To him, that’s the truth.” -Pat Robertson, 2020

Alternative Facts (noun): 1. Facts that are different from those established by science, logic, and reasonable consensus;
2. Category of facts that are most often presented at Donald Trump speeches, rallies, and press events;
3. Colloquially referred to as lies, falsehoods, or disinformation.
Not to be confused with “Alternative Faxes,” which is when one accidentally receives the wrong fax from the fax machine in the White Houses’ communications office.

“You’re saying it’s a falsehood… Sean Spicer, our press secretary, gave alternative facts to that.” -Kellyanne Conway, 2017

Amazon Washington Post (noun): 1. The Washington Post is a leading national newspaper, based in Washington DC, and most notably remembered for its investigation into a corrupt and criminal presidential administration… and also for investigating Nixon;
2. Media outlet purchased by Amazon CEO Jeff “Bozo” Bezos in 2013;
3. Six-foot tall post you can now receive the next day with Prime Shipping.

“If @amazon ever had to pay fair taxes, its stock would crash and it would crumble like a paper bag. The @washingtonpost scam is saving it!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted December 2015

America First (noun): 1. Presidential slogans used by both parties dating back to World War I;
2. The America First Committee was established in 1940 as a non-interventionist movement in World War II and was often built around pro-racist and pro-fascist rhetoric;
3. The America First slogan was first used in 2016 by Donald Trump and was often built around pro-racist and pro-fascist rhetoric.

“My foreign policy will always put the interests of the American people and American security above all else. It has to be first… That will be the foundation of every single decision that I will make. America.” -Donald Trump, 2016

American Carnage (noun): 1. Scare-mongering phrase used to demonize certain demographic groups and protest movements;
2. Fair and accurate description of the Trump Presidency.
See also: Law and Order

“The crime and the gangs and the drugs that have stolen too many lives and robbed our country of so much unrealized potential. This American carnage stops right here and stops right now.” -Donald Trump, Inaugural Address, 2017

America’s Putin (noun): 1. Specific reference to Donald Trump and his autocratic tendencies and ambitions, specifically as a fear that Trump will win the 2024 election and return to power as Putin once did in 2012;
2. Generalized reference to the attitudes of many people on the extreme right of the American political spectrum who admire Vladimir Putin for his agenda against “anti-woke” and “anti-LGBTQ” policies;
3. Unfounded belief that the Russian Invasion of Ukraine is the fault of Joe Biden;
4. What people on Staten Island call a dish of french fries covered in gravy and cheese curds.

“Ukrainians are dying because of the Biden family’s criminal connections and insistence on stoking conflict in the region.” -Candace Owens, 2022

Anchor Baby (noun): 1. Pejorative term used by Donald Trump and the Republican party to describe a child born in the United States to the parent of an undocumented illegal immigrant.
2. Mistaken belief that such a baby with birthright citizenship makes it easier for the child’s parents to remain in the United States.
3. Mistaken term also used by the GOP for recipients of Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program, or DACA, who are children who were not born in the United States but grew up in the United States and were allowed to legally remain and work in the US under President Obama, a program which Trump often tried to rescind;
4. A cruel and ineffective way to anchor a watercraft.
See also: Chain Migration

“We’re the only country in the world where a person comes in and has a baby, and the baby is essentially a citizen of the United States … with all of those benefits,” Trump continued. “It’s ridiculous. It’s ridiculous. And it has to end.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Animal Assad (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad.
2. Syrian dictator that assumed power in July 2000, and has repeatedly committed war crimes and human rights violations against the people of Syria, including the use of Chemical wepaons;
3. Proof that it is easier to give nicknames to problems instead of solving them.

“[Hitler] was not using the gas on his own people the same way that Assad is doing… There was not in the, he brought them into the Holocaust center, I understand that. What I am saying in the way that Assad used them, where he went into towns, dropped them down to innocent, into the middle of towns.” -Sean Spicer, 2017

Anti-Science Aggression (noun): 1. Tendency in certain American cultural circles to be fervently anti-science and anti-expert;
2. Aggression that often rears its head when it comes to vaccines and other medical measures, most notably in relation to COVID-19 vaccines and masks;
3. Aggression that often rears its head when it comes to debates of religious mythology versus scientific fact, such as in evolution and birth control;
4. Belief that, because it is constitutionally protected in the United States, one’s ignorance is as valid and as correct as expertise and knowledge;
5. The reason Bill Nye dreads logging into Twitter each morning.

“It’s not fun for us to talk about, and as physicians and physician-scientists, it’s not something we’re trained to think about, but increasingly we have to come to terms that [anti-science misinformation] is a major killer in the United States.” -Dr. Peter Hoetz, 2021

Apliculibulls (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for applicable;
2. Mythological animal that turns men’s tongues to stone.

“And all 50 states to immediately waive all apliculibulls state taxes.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Apple, Tim (noun): 1. Mistaken name applied by Donald Trump to former Apple CEO, Tim Cook;
2. Legendary figure in American folktales who walks around the country to plant apple trees, but also forces people to upgrade their trees every time a new IOS comes out.
Similar to: Marillyn Lockheed

“Tim, you gotta start doing it here,’ and you really have, you’ve really put a big investment in our country. We appreciate it very much, Tim Apple.” -Donald Trump

Arizona (noun): 1. State in the south western part of the United States, its capital is Phoenix and has notable landmarks like the Grand Canyon;
2. Swing state that Donald Trump lost in the 2020 election by less than 10,500 votes;
3. State that Trump and his allies have repeatedly claimed had instances of mass voter fraud, and as a result had several official and unofficial recounts;
4. State where a Republican Caucus hired a firm called Cyber Ninjas to audit the election which cost almost seven million dollars and resulted in Biden gaining 360 more votes;
5. Place where you are most likely to say: “Yeah, but it’s a dry heat;”
6. Filming location for such notable TV shows as: Insomniac with Dave Attell, Cops, and America’s Most Wanted.

“This was Donald Trump’s best chance to prove his cases of elections being rigged and fraudulent and they failed.” -Ben Ginsberg, Republican Election Lawyer, 2021

Art of the Deal (noun): 1. 1987 book credited to Donald Trump as a part memoir and part business advice book that helped make Trump a household name, and ghost written by journalist Tony Schwartz;
2. Second best book only behind the Bible.
3. Trump’s proudest accomplishment;
4. Schwartz’s greatest regret;

“He asked me, ‘Omarosa, what do you think about me getting sworn in on The Art of the Deal?’” -Omarosa Manigault Newman, 2018

Asbadidizziz (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for “as bad as it is;”
2. The sound bees make after inhaling Donald Trump’s hair products.

“Asbadidizziz it meant something.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Asian Americans (noun): 1. Diverse collective of different ethnicities who trace their ancestry to the Asian continent, including countries like China, Japan, Korea, India, Philippines, Vietnam, and more;
2. Demographic that has a fraught and complicated relationship with American culture due, in part, to government programs such as the Chinese Exclusion Act, Japanese Internment Camps, and the misleading ideas of the Model Minority myth;
3. Asian Americans saw a drastic increase in hate crimes and assaults during the COVID-19 pandemic, due in large part to rhetoric from Donald Trump continuously referring to the pandemic with derogatory terms, such as: The China Virus and the Kung-Flu.
See also: Coronavirus

“By the way, it’s a disease, without question, [that] has more names than any disease in history. I can name kung flu, I can name 19 different versions of names.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Asset (noun): 1. Person or resource that provides intelligence to a spy or an agency case officer.
2. What Donald Trump is to the Russian government;
3. The section of the tax form that Trump often undervalues so that he pays less.
See also: Steele Dossier

“I think this past weekend is illustrative of what a great case officer Vladimir Putin is. He knows how to handle an asset, and that’s what he’s doing with [Trump] … You have to remember Putin’s background. He’s a KGB officer. That’s what they do. They recruit assets. And I think some of that experience and instincts of Putin has come into play here in his managing of a pretty important account for him, if I could use that term, with our president.” -James Klapper, Former Director of national Intelligence, 2017

Astonishingly Excellent (adjective): 1. Donald Trump’s laboratory tests, as described by his personal physician, Dr. Harold Bornstein.
2. Possible forged letter written or dictated by Trump himself, due to the fact that letter contained several superlatives that a trained doctor would never use, but Trump often does;
3. Yet another Bill and Ted sequel.
See also: Good Genes

“If elected, Mr Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.” -Dr. Harold Bornstein, 2016

Ate Your Lunch (phrase): 1. Trumpspeak for “drink your milkshake;”
2. If your lunch consisted of hamburgers for fast food, Trump may actually have eaten it.

“China ate your lunch, Joe.” -Donald Trump, 2020

BLM (abbreviation): 1. Acronym that stands for Black Lives Matter, a decentralized political movement that began in 2013 to protest police brutality and racially motivated violence against African Americans;
2. Majorly peaceful movement that has conducted protests all over the country, typically in the wake of police shootings of an unarmed black American;
3. Movement, according to Donald Trump and his supporters, who are nothing more than thugs that cause violence and looting, especially during the protests of the summer of 2020;
4. Group often used in a “whataboutism” or scapegoat argument by Trump and his supporters to prove that the insurrectionist on January 6th were treated horribly compared to BLM protestors;
5. Group which, in truth, is often treated far harsher by police and authorities than the MAGA supporters who attacked the Capitol on January 6.

“B.L.M. Protesters horribly harass elderly Pittsburgh diners, scaring them with loud taunts while taking their food right off their plate. These Anarchists, not protesters, are Biden voters, but he has no control and nothing to say. Disgraceful. Never seen anything like it. Thugs.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted September 2020

Baby Christian (noun): 1. Small entity that has limited cognitive function and bowel control that is born to the Christian faith;
2. Adult who claims to be have recently accepted Christianity, despite being a serial adulterer, sinner, and idolater;
3. Moniker given to Donald Trump by evangelical conservative Christians as an excuse for voting for a candidate who is blatantly antithetical to all they purport to believe and hold morally sacred.

“I don’t know when it was [that Trump accepted Christ], but it has not been long. I believe he really made a commitment, but he’s a baby Christian.” -Dr. James Dobson, 2016

Back-Pedal (verb): 1. Retreat from or retraction of proposed policies or beliefs when it receives criticism or pressure from opponents;
2. Hallmark of right-wing populists to make a preposterous policy and then be forced to retreat.
3. A physical action that Donald Trump is not in proper shape to attempt.

“Do I want to see a date change? No, but I don’t want to see a crooked election.” -Donald Trump, After suggesting delaying the presidential elections, 2020

Bad Hombres (noun): 1. Spanglish for “bad men,” or “hombres malos;”
2. Racist and pejorative term used by Trump to stir up fear of people of Latinx ethnicity;
3. Proof of Donald Trump’s limited knowledge of or interest in the Spanish language.
See also: Mexico

“We have some bad hombres here, and we’re going to get them out.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Bad Judgment (noun): 1. Mistakes often exercised by humans when they do not have all the facts or are swayed by strong emotions into making the wrong decision;
2. Listening to your ego when it tells you that you are worthy of being the President of the United States of America;
3. Every time a lawsuit was ruled in favor of Donald Trump.

“Let me be clear: President Trump’s call with President Zelensky showed poor judgement.” -Republican Rep. Brian Fitzpatrick, before refusing to vote for impeachment, 2019

Baldwin, Alec (noun): 1. American actor known for roles in movies such as Glengarry Glen Ross, The Departed, and for successfully portraying and satirizing Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live;
2. Man who has three brothers;
3. Liberal Hollywood elite who hates America, the flag, and apple pie.
See also: Saturday Night Live

“Alex Baldwin, whose dieing mediocre career was saved by his impersonation of me on SNL, now says playing DJT was agony for him. Alex, it was agony for those who were forced to watch. You were terrible. Bring back Darrell Hammond, much funnier and far greater talent!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted March 2018

Barron, John (noun): 1. Former publicist for Donald Trump who often spoke very glowingly of him to reporters and press and who sounds exactly like Donald Trump himself;
2. Donald Trump.
Similar to: John Miller

“It was not me on the phone. And it doesn’t sound like me on the phone, I will tell you that, and it was not me on the phone. And when was this? Twenty-five years ago?” -Donald Trump, 2016

Base, The (noun): 1. Floppy movable object that runners cling to for safety during a baseball game;
2. Foundation which supports and props up an otherwise unsupportable structure or entity;
3. The imagined core group of voters that Trump plays to when making fear-mongering comments;
4. The most rabid supporters, often capable of extreme feats of cognitive dissonance and mental gymnastics to justify their support of Donald Trump.
See also: White Americans

“I have the most loyal people… I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose any voters, OK?” -Donald Trump, 2016

Basket Case (noun): 1. Taunt that was made to Ted Cruz by Donald Trump during the 2016 presidential campaign;
2. Cruz, who endorsed Trump, offered to pucker his lips for the posterior of his former rival and did so for a Republican Party’s higher purpose, despite Trump insulting Cruz’s wife, and was compared unfavorably Trump’s wife, Melania;
3. The complimentary gift basket that they give out at Trump-owned properties.
See also: Lyin’ Ted

“Today Donald Trump held a press conference. He apparently lost it. I mean, he was just going on and on about how I was the most horrible person in the world because I keep repeating the things he said, and it’s an amazing thing.” -Ted Cruz, 2016

Beautiful (adjective): 1. Something that is physically attractive or worthy of praise for its superficial appearance;
2. Donald Trump’s favorite word to describe someone or something that he likes;
3. Beautiful things according to Trump: Walls, world wars, chocolate cake, sleeping gas, healthcare, military equipment, clean coal, the Dakota Pipeline, and himself.

“[Doctors and nurses are] running into death just like soldiers running into bullets… It’s incredible to see. It’s a beautiful thing to see.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Beclowned Himself (verb): 1. An act of making oneself the butt of the joke;
2. What classical clown performers do before going onstage;
3. The political strategy of Donald J. Trump.

“TRUMP disgraced the Presidency and the United States at the G-7 summit. From his slovenly appearance to his unpreparedness, ignorance and arrogance, he beclowned himself. The Republican majority is filled with cowards who are servile supplicants to the most unfit POTUS ever.” -Steve Schmidt, GOP Strategist, Tweeted June 2018

Believe Me (phrase): 1. Catch-all phrase Donald Trump frequently uses to bolster his propensity for exaggeration, contradictory statements, and untrue assertions;
2. Verbal tell of Trump that paradoxically commands authority over a subject and also marks a complete lack of understanding of that same subject;
3. Overuse is said to cause Severe Marshmallow Eyes (S.M.E.), a skin condition leaving faded circles or pale spots around the eyes. S.M.E. is prevalent amongst the most cunning and insincere.

“I had a very good meeting with the president of Mexico. Very nice man. We will be doing very much better with Mexico on trade deals. Believe me.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Benefishers (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for beneficiaries;
2. Anglitaliano for “good fishers.”

“Technology comes with really big benefishers.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Best People, The (phrase): 1. Claim by Donald Trump that he would surround himself with the most qualified people during his presidency;
2. Reference to cabinet secretaries, seven of which resigned or were fired within the first eighteen months of Trump’s term;
3. Group of people that includes convicted criminals, conmen, noted racists, reality-TV stars, his own children, and at least one pillow salesman.

“I’m going to surround myself only with the best and most serious people. We want top of the line professionals.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Biden, Hunter (noun): 1. Son of Joseph R. Biden, the 47th vice president of the United States and 46th president;
2. Person, who is often a target of Republican plots, conspiracies, and accusations of illegal wrongdoing, especially when it comes to business dealing in Ukraine, and was the initial catalyst for the first impeachment of Donald Trump;
3. Person, who is probably guilty of at least a few illegal wrongdoings, most notably tax violation, money laundering, and not properly registering as a foreign lobbyist;
4. Person under investigation by his own father’s justice department;
5. Man who once owned a laptop.

“My son, like a lot of people at home, had a drug problem. He’s overtaking it. He’s fixed it. He’s worked on it. And I’m proud of him. I’m proud of my son.” -Joseph Biden, 2020

Big League (noun): 1. Something that is larger than a “small league.”
See also: Bigly

“I use big league.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Big Lie, The (noun): 1. Common name used to encompass the propaganda told often by Trump and his allies that the 2020 election was rigged, that votes were cast illegally, and that Trump was in fact the winner of the election;
2. Excuse often given by Trump and his allies as to why he lost re-election to Joe Biden;
3. Damaging repeated lie that continues to undermine the integrity of United States elections, by falsely convincing a majority of Republican voters that US elections are insecure and open to election tampering;
4. False justification used by Republican lawmakers to pass restrictive voter laws that target Democratic districts, minority voters, and other already disenfranchised groups;
5. The belief that Trump’s hair is real.
See also: Voting

“This election is about great voter fraud, fraud that has never been seen like this before… It’s about poll watchers who were not allowed to watch. So illegal. It’s about ballots that poured in and nobody but a few knew where they came from… It’s about machinery that was defective, machinery that was stopped.” – Donald Trump, 2020

Biggest Loser, The (noun): 1. Reference to obtained tax information that revealed that between 1985 to 1994, Donald Trump’s businesses lost over $1.17 billion;
2. Reference to the fact that Trump’s businesses lost more than double those of the nearest taxpayers in the IRS’ database for those years;
3. Reality TV show where contestants compete to lose weight, to be confused with The Apprentice where contestants compete to lose dignity.
See also: Tax Return

“Trump has twice been basically gifted half a billion dollars by benefactors — twice! — first by his father and then by reality-show producer Mark Burnett for “The Apprentice.” In both cases, tax documents suggest he took more money than most people can even dream of, and flushed it straight down the toilet. Trump isn’t a successful businessman. He’s the photographic negative of a successful businessman. If ‘The Apprentice’ had been honestly named, it would have been called ‘The Biggest Loser.’” -Amanda Marcotte, Salon, 2020

Bigly (adverb): 1. To great extent;
2. With great force;
3. On a large scale;
4. In a swelling, blustering, pulsating, physically out-of-shape, bombastic, swaggering perfidious manner.

“I’m going to cut taxes bigly, and you’re going to raise taxes bigly.” – Donald Trump, 2016

Billionaire (noun): 1. Someone who is worth in excess one billion dollars.
2. Group of people that includes Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Mark Zuckerberg…;
3. Group of people that probably does not include Donald Trump.
See also: Tax Returns

“I remember once my father and I were walking down Fifth Avenue and there was a homeless person sitting right outside of Trump Tower and I remember my father pointing to him and saying, ‘You know, that guy has $8 billion more than me,’ because he was in such extreme debt at that point, you know?” -Ivanka Trump, 2003

Billions and Billions (plural repetitive noun): 1. Favorite phrase of Donald Trump used to embellish his policy, budget, and financial situation;
2. More than one billion;
3. More than two billion;
4. More than three billion.

“Billions and billions and billions…” -Donald Trump, 2016

Bing Bing Bong Bing (nonsense): 1. Extension of “bing,” one of Trump’s favorite descriptive words. Usually added when describing anything happening in a consecutive order;
2. Nonsensical phrase uttered to describe how lobbying works;
3. 2015 drinking game that claimed four college student’s lives.

“Jeb Bush or Hillary, or one of these politicians, all controlled by lobbyists and special interests, and donors, people like me from previous months, total control. Bing bing, bong bong bong, bing bing. You know what that is, right?” -Donald Trump, 2015

Bipartiss Solucius (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for “bipartisan solutions;”
2. A cocktail made of vodka, seltzer, grape juice, and old thumbtacks.

“It is so important to [McConnell] that he is agreeing to almost anything. Don’t do the infrastructure deal, wait until after we get proper election results in 2022 or otherwise, and regain a strong negotiating stance. Republicans, don’t let the Radical Left play you for weak fools and losers!” -Trump, 2021

Bird-Dogging (verb): 1. Hounding or pursuing someone or something with an unwanted or malicious intent;
2. Trump’s approach to picking unwilling women;
3. A planted provocateur at any political rally to incite aggression from the participants on both the right and the left;
4. That laughing dog who laughs at you when you lose at Duck Hunt.

“Bird-dogging means you get to speak out and fight back with other like-minded folks. It’s liberating. And actually, in fact, when you bird-dog you may be called a heckler. And that’s OK.” -Hugh Espey, 2017

Birtherism (noun): 1. Racist conspiracy that Barrack Obama was not born in the United States of America and is therefore ineligible to be President of the United States;
2. Conspiracy theory that died down after President Obama’s election until Donald Trump revived it for several more years until finally conceding that it wasn’t true.
3. False movement meant to humiliate President Obama by demanding to see his long form birth certificate;
4. Conspiracy that Trump claimed was started by Hillary Clinton was the one who started it;
5. Diet craze that swept England in 1729 at the behest of Jonathon Swift.
See also Cheatin’ Obama

“I have people that have been studying [Obama’s birth certificate] and they cannot believe what they’re finding … I would like to have him show his birth certificate… Because if he can’t, if he can’t, if he wasn’t born in this country, which is a real possibility … then he has pulled one of the great cons in the history of politics.” – Donald Trump, 2011

Black Hole of Need (noun): 1. Someone whose obsessive need for attention is so great that it sucks in all the light and joy of the people around it;
2. Assessment made by psychologist Mary Trump of her uncle Donald Trump;
3. Gravitational anomaly that has narcissistic tendencies and daddy issues.
See also: Mary Trump

“I have often referred to Donald as a ‘black hole of need.’ It’s never enough. Any compliments that people give him, it’s never enough to fill that void.” -Mary Trump, 2022

Blacks, The (plural noun): 1. How Donald Trump refers to African Americans;
2. Historically disenfranchised minority in the United States, dating back all the way to American Slavery and the forced migration of hundreds of thousands of Africans to the American Continent, and continued by biased and racists laws and systemic cultural practices that continue to this day;
3. Block of voters that continuously saves America from itself;
4. Group of people that Donald Trump believes reporter April Ryan all knows.

“You’re living in poverty, your schools are no good, you have no jobs, 58% of your youth is unemployed – what the hell do you have to lose?” -Donald Trump to African American voters, 2016

Blackwater War Criminals (noun): 1. Private mercenary company started by Erik Prince, brother of Donald Trump’s Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos, and a company that received more than ninety million dollars in State Department contracts;
2. Company owned by an avid Trump support and campaign donor, who also allegedly help fund a Pro-Trump espionage scheme, and possible involvement with a civil war in Libya;
3. Mercenaries that perpetrated and were convicted of the Nisour Square Massacre, in 2007, where Blackwater employees shot Iraqi civilians without provocation, killing twelve adults, two children, and injuring twenty;
4. Criminals which were pardoned by Donald Trump during the month of his presidency.

“The sheer amount of unnecessary human loss and suffering attributable to the defendants’ criminal conduct on 16 September 2007 is staggering.” -US Attorney’s Office, 2007

Bleach Injection (verb): 1. Method claimed by Trump that could possible kill the Coronavirus in the human body;
2. Form of assisted suicide, not recommended by medical professionals;
3. The fastest way to get out liver spots.
Similar to: Ultraviolet Light inside the Body

“And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. One minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning… I’m not a doctor. But I’m, like, a person that has a good you-know-what.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Boebert, Lauren (noun): 1. Congresswoman from Colorado, best known for embracing Trump’s policies and QAnon conspiracies;
2. Owner of a gun-themed restaurant where the wait staff is armed;
3. Often praises far-right groups such as the Proud Boys, and was reported to be involved with the initial stages of the January 6 insurrection and riots;
4. Has vocally supported eliminating the Department of Education, and believes that Critical Race Theory is a danger to children;
5. Worries about the “supremacy of gays,” in regards to LGBTQ issues;
6. Was once arrested at a music festival for disorderly conduct and resisting arrest;
7. Boebert is also a technical term for a faulty safety on an assault rifle that results in a handler shooting their own mouth off.

“The Boebert have your six, @repThomasMassie! (no spare ammo for you, though)” -Lauren Boebert, Tweeted December 2021

Bone Spurs (noun): 1. Serious medical condition that has been known to cause draft dodging and general cowardice in conjunction with the outbreak of war.

“I had a minor medical deferment for feet, for a bone spur of the foot, which was minor. I was fortunate, in a sense, because I was not a believer in the Vietnam War…But I was entered into the draft and I got a very, very high draft number.” -Donald Trump, 2015

Border Wall (noun): 1. Trump’s first and most outlandish promises made during the 2016 election;
2. Rally chant often used at Trump rallies;
3. Impenetrable and giant wall along the southern border of the United States that Mexico was supposed to pay for;
4. Flimsy and half-finished wall along the southern border of the United States that US taxpayers paid nearly eleven billion dollars for.
See also: Mexico

“I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me, and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great great wall on our southern border and I’ll have Mexico pay for that wall.” -Donald Trump, 2015

Bowling Green Massacre (event): 1. Non-historic terrorist attack in Bowling Green, Kentucky, masterminded by two Iraqi refugees, which most people don’t know about because it got covered up;
2. Possible misquotation of a 2011 incident in Bowling Green, Kentucky, where two Iraqi refugees were arrested for attempting to send money and weapons to terrorists in Iraq;
3. Plot to Kellyanne Conway’s’ newest young adult novel series, Filibusted Future.
See also: Alternative Facts

“I bet it’s brand new information to people that President Obama had a six-month ban on the Iraqi refugee program after two Iraqis came here to this country, were radicalized. And they were the masterminds behind the Bowling Green massacre. Most people don’t know that because it didn’t get covered.” -Kellyanne Conway, 2017

Brainwashed (verb): 1. Person or group of people who have been conditioned to believe or obey an individual or movement, one that is often counterproductive to their own interests;
2. Trump supporters.
See also: Junior

“Trump’s magical mixture is to make being afraid feel like fun. His rallies are a hybrid of concert revelry and combat prep. Trump tells his followers about all the things of which they should be afraid, or shouldn’t trust or should hate, and then positions himself as the greatest defense against those things. His supporters roar their approval at their white knight.” -Charles Blow 2018

Braiveer (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for braver;
2. Medieval corset for women made of iron.

“The braiveer of our truck drivers.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Brexit (noun/verb): 1. The referendum and then process of the United Kingdom removing itself from the European Union starting in 2016 and ending in 2020;
2. Referendum vote which suffered from some the same sociological, false information, and authoritarian impulses as the election of Donald Trump;
3. A term totally ignored when heard for the first time by Trump to avoid embarrassment from not knowing what it was.

“I’d go all out. It would be a great advantage for UK. One of the advantages of Brexit is the fact that you can deal with the number one country by far, we’re the number one by far in terms of every metric in terms of an economy.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Britain Trump (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Boris Johnson, the prime minister from the United Kingdom, and one of the foremost Brexiteers, or Brexit instigators;
2. Person who has the same sort of hair as Donald Trump, though his buffoonery is mostly an act;
3. Person who has a real love of buses.

“I actually have studied it very hard. I know the different players. But I think Boris would do a very good job. I think he would be excellent. I like him. I have always liked him.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Buffaloed (verb): 1. Duped, deceived, fooled, tricked;
2. To intimidate or impress by a display of power, importance, etc.;
3. Something that happens to newspapers… apparently;
4. When you bet on the Bills to win the Super Bowl, because “This has to be their year.”

“I know the smartest negotiators in the world. I know the good ones, I know the bad ones, I know the overrated ones. You got a lot of them that are overrated. They’re not good, they think they are, they get good stories, cause the newspapers get buffaloed. But they’re not good. But I know the best negotiators in the world. I’d put them one for each country. Believe me, folks, we’d do very well.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Bull Elephant (noun): 1. An aggressive male elephant with large tusks, this animal can often be seen acting as an authoritarian to other elephants, prodding the herd to bend to his will, the disrupting social harmony, and often causing general havoc wherever he goes;
2. Nickname given to Donald Trump by South Carolina Governor Henry McMasters;
3. May refer to the bull elephant named, Trump, who lives in Malawi, and is known tearing down fences and terrorizing the local populace of farmers;
4. Libertarian media site with pro-Trump views.
Not to be confused with: The bullsh*t elephant, which is the official mascot of the Republican Party.

“[Trump’s] a bad guy. He goes along and he puts his tusks under the electric fence and pulls down a few hundred meters of fencing.” -Otto Werdmuller Von Elgg, 2016

Burner Phones (plural noun): 1. A disposable phone with a number that cannot be linked back to the user, often employed in criminal and other illicit activities;
2. The type of phone that Donald Trump has employed on several occasions, according to close sources, and the type of phone he most likely used during a seven-hour phone gap on January 6, 2021 during the Capitol Insurrection;
3. Something Trump has claimed he has never ever ever, even the tiniest bit, heard of before;
4. White House phones that had to be set on fire in order for them to be properly disinfected after Trump left office.

“I have no idea what a burner phone is, to the best of my knowledge I have never even heard the term.” -Donald Trump, 2022

Business Dunce (noun): 1. Description of Donald Trump by journalist, David Cay Johnston;
2. Reference to Trump’s business failures, including six bankruptcies of various hotels and casinos, as well as multiple failed absurd business ventures including: Trump Airlines, Trump Ice (bottled water), Trump: The Game (boardgame); Trump Magazine, Trump Mortgage, Trump Steaks, GoTrump.com (travel site), Trumpnet (communications), Trump University, and Trump Vodka;
3. Tendency by Trump to avoid paying contractors what they are owed, or tendency to cut costs and materials beyond reasonable limits;
4. The name of the pointed cap that Trump makes Eric wear after he fails to go to the bathroom in time.

“For all his dealings with Trump, Sullivan was repeatedly astonished by the businessman’s lack of prudence. He said that whenever Trump saw an opportunity to collect more money or to cut his costs by not paying people what they had earned, he did. “Common sense just never took hold” when Trump had money on his mind, Sullivan told me several times.” -David Cay Johnston, The Making of Donald Trump, 2016

Butina, Maria (noun): 1. Unregistered Russian foreign agent, often referred to as a “spy,” she infiltrated several prominent right-wing organizations, notably: The National Rifle Association, Republican party, and the 2016 Donald Trump Campaign;
2. Woman arrested by the US Attorney’s office in DC, was deported, and began to work for the Russian state television channel RT, and was eventually elected to Putin’s government;
3. Russian agent who had a relationship with former Overstock.com CEO, Patrick M. Byrne who helped her gain access to the Trump Campaign, and with conservative political activist Paul Erickson who helped her develop a back-channel between the NRA and the Kremlin;
4. The most boring James Bond character ever written.

“It’s an outrage. It’s not clear what she was convicted of or what crime she committed… They got, grabbed and threw the girl behind the bars, but there’s nothing to charge her with. Yes, nothing to charge her with. But they sentenced her to 18 months so it would not look completely nonsensical, to show that she is guilty of something.” -Vladimir Putin, 2019

CRT (abbreviation): 1. Acronym for Critical Race Theory, a legal and academic theory that emerged in the mid-1970’s, that discusses racism as an established feature of society and law, and as a projection of historical injustices such as slavery, Jim Crow, redlining, and other well-established discriminatory practices, both official and unofficial;
2. Misappropriated by white parents, officials, and others to use as a catchall boogeyman to protest and prevent the teaching of actual racial injustice and history in American classrooms;
3. Scholarly theory that is being banned in public schools by states such as Idaho, Iowa, Oklahoma, Tennessee, and Texas, despite being a theory that is actually only taught at the college level.

“For decades, the America-blaming left has been relentlessly pushing a vision of America that casts our history, culture, traditions, and founding documents in the most negative possible light. Yet in recent years, this deeply unnatural effort has progressed from telling children that their history is evil to telling Americans that they are evil.” -Donald Trump, 2021

Camel Laugh (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname Senator Kamala Harris;
2. Harris is a former senator from California and the vice president under Joe Biden;
3. The first female vice president and first vice president of mixed ancestry, African American and Indian;
4. Very bad word play on the name “Kamala;”
5. Someone who very much intimidates Trump.

“People don’t like [Kamala Harris]. Nobody likes her. She could never be the first woman president. She could never be. That would be an insult to our country… You know who’s further left than Crazy Bernie? Kamala. Kamala. Kamala.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Cancel Culture (noun): 1. Right-wing belief that Democrats, progressives, millennials, and other members of the “Left” often try to ban the speech and end the careers of those they don’t agree with;
2. Mostly made-up panic incited by a few instances of celebrities on Twitter losing followers, mostly due to allegations of sexual misconduct or racism;
3. Examples include: Chris Pratt, Ellen DeGeneres, Dave Chappelle, and Louis CK, all of which are people who are still rich and still popular;
4. Outrage that right-wing correspondents have extended to non-living objects such as Dr. Seuss books and Russia;
5. Language that has been co-opted by authoritarians such as Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin;
6. Something that only exists in the mid of Republicans and aggrieved celebrities;
7. Also, the name of the culture inside the Republican Party whenever a member says anything negative about Donald Trump.

“Recently they canceled the children’s writer [JK] Rowling because she – the author of books that have sold hundreds of millions of copies worldwide – fell out of favor with fans of so-called gender freedoms… They are now trying to cancel our country. I’m talking about the progressive discrimination of everything to do with Russia.” -Vladimir Putin, 2022

Cancer, Windmill (noun): 1. Cancer caused in the human body by the sound of wind turbine systems, such as those used in the generation of wind-powered electricity;
2. False medical claim often made with the accompaniment of the sound effect: “Rrerr Rrerr.”
See also: Global Warming

“I have church bells that ring across from my office here in D.C. I know that noise doesn’t give me cancer, otherwise I’m sure I’d have church bell cancer.” -Senator Joni Ernst, 2019

Carannavirus (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for coronavirus;
2. A virus that turns you into a “Karen” a woman who assaults innocent grocery store workers who ask her to wear a mask or calls the police on African Americans for no reason at all.
See also: Coronavirus

“China is working very, very hard. I have spoken to President Xi, and they’re working very hard. And if you know anything about him, I think he’ll be in pretty good shape. They’re, they’ve had a rough patch, and I think right now they have it, it looks like they’re getting it under control more and more. They’re getting it more and more under control. So, I think that’s a problem that’s going to go away.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Caravan, The (noun): 1. People traveling together from one place to another;
2. Group of migrants from Central America that was slowly making their way to the southern Mexican border, with unclear intentions of where they were headed;
3. Fog-whistle word used by Trump and his allies to drum up fear of immigrants and refugees;
4. Disappearing phenomenon that we never heard anything about again after the midterm elections.

“Many gang Members and some very bad people are mixed into the Caravan heading to our Southern Border. Please go back, you will not be admitted into the United States unless you go through the legal process. This is an invasion of our Country and our Military is waiting for you!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted October 2018

Catch and Kill (phrase): 1. Process by which tabloid media outlets buy exclusive rights to a story and then do not report it, in order to bury it.
2. Practice done on several occasions by the National Enquirer to hide several extramarital affairs involving Donald Trump. The Enquirer’s parent company is American Media, whose CEO is David Pecker, a friend and supporter of Donald Trump
3. The hottest new show on the Discovery Channel, airing between Freezing in Alaska, and Bigfoot Ate my Constitution.

“As each candidate was moving up, let’s say Marco Rubio, David Pecker would reach out to me and he would give me a list of things that he was intending to do in order to squash Ted Cruz’s or Marco Rubio’s rise, whoever was rising in the poll. That’s who became the person that we needed to knock out of the campaign, out of the race.” -Michael Cohen, 2020

Catch-and-Release (verb): 1. Preservation effort, and sometimes a mandate set by the Fish and Wildlife Service, to prevent overfishing in specific waters and sustain the population of certain species of native fish;
2. Term adopted by U.S. politicians to refer to U.S. immigration policies, specifically referring to undocumented migrants crossing the border with Mexico and the belief that after they were caught they were released by border patrol into the US without any restrictions;
3. Term that Trump wanted to change to “catch-and-detain,” followed by “package-and-deport,” which resulted in complete chaos, judicial rulings against the procedures enacted, and widespread human rights violations and protests.
See also: Family Separation Policy

“Under my administration, anyone who illegally crosses the border will be detained until they are removed out of our country and back to the country from which they came.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Cause You’d be in Jail (statement): 1. Statement spoken by Donald Trump to Hillary Clinton during a 2016 presidential debate;
2. First recorded instance of an American political candidate threatening to jail their opponent;
3. Another campaign promise made by Trump to supporters, which he did not fulfill.

“We supported President Trump for his fight for justice, and for four years we cried, ‘Lock her up. Lock her up. Lock her up.’ We know [Hillary Clinton]’s a criminal. What did the president tell us? ‘If I was in charge of the law, you’d be in jail.’ OK, Mr. President, you’ve been in charge of the law for four years. At the end of your four-year time, the only ones locked up were men like me, and others like me, that have stood by the president the strongest.” -Couy Griffin, Founder of Cowboys for Trump, 2021

Cawthorn, Madison (noun): 1. Congressman from North Carolina who is pro-Trump and his policies;
2. Someone that regularly gets caught with a loaded gun by airport security;
3. Congressman that has exaggerated and lied about an accident that left him in a wheelchair;
4. Person who was never accepted in the US Naval Academy, despite what he says;
5. Person who has not trained a day in his life for the Paralympics, despite what he says;
6. Former frat boy who has been sexually inappropriate with women from his college, despite what he says;
7. Man who enjoys wearing lingerie, and being naked and “crass” with other men, but wants to shame others for being LGBTQ;
8. Man who once took his dream trip to Adolph Hitler’s vacation home;
9. Man who once claimed he was offered an invite to a Republican orgy, and has witnessed fellow congressional GOP members doing cocaine;
10. Man who often drives with a revoked license;
11. The reason they tell girls on college campuses to not leave their drinks uncovered and unattended;
12. Entitled rich white kid.

“Cawthorn’s time at [Patrick Henry College] was marked by gross misconduct towards our female peers, public misrepresentation of his past, disorderly conduct that was against the school’s student honor code, and self-admitted academic failings… Cawthorn established a reputation for predatory behavior… It became a regular warning in the female dorms not to be caught alone with Madison Cawthorn.” -Open Letter from 160 members of the Patrick Henry College community

Central Park Five (noun): 1. Five black and Latinx youths who were wrongly convicted in 1989 for assaulting a white woman in Central Park, in New York City;
2. Event for which Donald Trump personally took out full-page advertisements in newspapers calling for the State of New York to adopt the death penalty for the five accused youths;
3. Proof that before the invention of Twitter, Trump was still king of posting racist rants.

“I want to hate these murderers and I always will. I am not looking to psychoanalyze or understand them, I am looking to punish them…. BRING BACK THE DEATH PENALTY AND BRING BACK THE POLICE!” -Donald Trump, 1989 Full-Page Advertisement.

Ch-eye-na (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for China;
2. Country known for suppressed democratic principles, genocide against minority Muslim groups, and pandas, whose relationship with the United States was often marred by stalled trade talks, tariffs, and trade wars, all of which ultimately resulted in little
3. Place in which the Coronavirus originated, prompting many conspiracy theories and racist remarks;
4. Country where you can readily purchase Ivanka Trump Handbags and other Trump trademarked items.

“One of the many great things about our just signed giant Trade Deal with China is that it will bring both the USA & China closer together in so many other ways. Terrific working with President Xi, a man who truly loves his country. Much more to come!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted January 2020

Chain Migration (noun): 1. Scholarly term used to refer to the legal social process by which migrants from a particular area follow other migrants to a particular destination;
2. A derogatory term used by Donald Trump for immigrants sponsoring family members to join them in this country, as cover for upending immigration policy that dates back to the 19th century;
3. The Trump administration deceptively claimed that chain migration involves immigrants bringing any family member, no matter how distant they’re related to them, to the United States, despite the reality that legal reunification paths for more distant family, such as aunts, cousins, or even grandparents) do not exist;
4. The way that Melania Trump’s parents were granted green card status.

“And chain migration, think of that. So you come in, and now you can bring your family, and then you can bring your mother and your father. You can bring your grandmother. You can bring your this; you can bring, we had somebody on the West Side Highway, which I know very well… I think he killed about eight people.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Championch (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for champions;
2. Worst song ever performed by Queen.

“…Women’s Basketball National Championch…” -Donald Trump, 2019

Chaos Agent (noun): 1. Nickname given to Steve Bannon by Ron Filipkowski, a former republican political commentator;
2. Reference to Bannon’s role in getting Donald Trump elected as well as his role in other controversies such as scamming people out of money with the “We Build the Wall” foundation, and a MAGA cryptocurrency;
3. The worst GI Joe action of 1991.
See also: Sloppy Steve

“Ukraine’s not even a country. It’s kind of a concept. It’s not even a country … It’s just a corrupt area that the Clinton’s turned into a colony where they can steal money out of.” -Steve Bannon, 2022

Cheatin’ Obama (noun): 1. Nickname given to former President Barack Obama by Donald Trump;
2. 44th President of the United States, often used as a scapegoat for all the worst disasters of Trump’s time in office;
3. Cool kid who once hurt Trump’s feelings so he vowed to ruin everything he had ever accomplished and take every chance he could get to take a shot at him;
4. Person who lives rent-free in Trump’s head;
5. Former president whose popularity only increased after he left office… for some unknown reason.
See also: White House Correspondents Dinner.

“In fact, in many respects you know they honor President Obama. ISIS is honoring President Obama. He is the founder of ISIS. He’s the founder of ISIS. He’s the founder. He founded ISIS.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Chicken Hawk (noun): 1. Political terminology for a person who pushes for war as a political figure, but actively avoided military service themselves;
2. Examples include: John Bolton and Donald Trump, the latter who dodged the Vietnam draft and as president cluck often at the idea of a grand military parade with tanks;
3. The newest item on the presidential menu at KFC.
See also; Bone Spurs

“We’re going to have planes going overhead – the best fighter jets in the world and other planes too, and we’re going to have some tanks stationed outside. [The July 4th military parade] will be like no other, it’ll be special” -Donald Trump, 2019

Chimerical (adjective): 1. Wildly fanciful, imaginary;
2. Highly unrealistic, an unlikely notion;
3. Reference to a creature that is a composite of several other creatures, such as a liar, a thief, a conman, a bully, and a racist;
4. 85% of all noise that comes from the open mouth of Donald Trump.

“Most of us who have created a business know that we’re only as good as the way our employees, clients and partners view us. Most of us don’t pretend we’re smart enough to make every big decision by ourselves. And most of us who have our names on the door know that we are only as good as our word, but not Donald Trump.” -Michael Bloomberg, 2016

Chin, The (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman;
2. Columnist who has written extensively and very non-complementary op-eds of Donald Trump and has earned his ire;
3. Man, who Trump claims plays too much golf;
4. Proof that Trump just spends too much time reading…
See also: Failing New York Times

“Thomas ‘the Chin’ Friedman, a weak and pathetic sort of guy, writes columns for The New York Times in between rounds of his favorite game, golf. Two weeks ago, while speaking to a friend on his cell phone, I unfortunately ended up speaking to Friedman. We spoke for a while and Governor of the State did a good job. That may be true but she could not have done it without the tremendous economic success of our Country & the turnaround that my Administration has caused. Really Nasty to me in his average I.Q. Columns, kissed my a.. on the call. Phony!.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted July 2019

Chocked (verb): 1. Trumpspeak for choked;
2. The safe word that Donald Trump uses when being spanked by a magazine.

“Bloomberg made a fool out of himself last night, he choked. He’s another one who’s going, ‘Ah, I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe! Don’t ask me the question, please!’” -Donald Trump, 2020

Chocolate Cake (noun): 1. Desert made of flour, sugar, and cocoa powder;
2. Trump’s most important take-away from his meeting with China’s President, Xi Jinping.
See also Ch-eye-na

“I was sitting at the table, we had finished dinner… We’re now having dessert—and we had the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake that you’ve ever seen—and President Xi was enjoying it.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Choke like (phrase): 1. Description of someone’s performance in relation to sports or sporting events;
2. Term regularly used by Donald Trump to describe any mishap or accident;
3. Too casual reference made in regards to a tragic or life-altering event;
4. Part of a pattern of dehumanizing rhetoric that is often present in authoritarian and fascist regimes;
5. Proof that Trump does not like dogs or really anything that is willing to show him genuine love or affection.

“Theodore Roosevelt sometimes would have over 30 pets in the White House because the president had such a love of God’s creatures. [Trump has no pets] because he has no sense of giving and warmth and caring to any other animal but himself. Having no pet is another manifestation of his narcissism.” -Douglas Brinkley, presidential historian, 2018

Christie, Chris (noun): 1. Former New Jersey Governor, lobbyist, federal prosecutor, and 2016 Republican presidential candidate who was an early supporter of Donald Trump;
2. Elected official known for his considerable girth, and his “New Jersey” honesty;
3. Man who often stood timidly behind Trump at press conferences;
4. Governor whose office once caused intentional delays on the George Washington Bridge and backup on local roads as an act of punishment against the town of Fort Lee’s Democratic mayor;
5. Man who enjoyed closing down state beaches so that only he and his family could use them;
6. Person who caught COVID-19 from Trump;
7. Governor who once tried to veto a New Jersey animal welfare bill because it wouldn’t look good in Iowa;
8. Republican operative who was revealed to just be two Bruce Springsteen-loving manatees in a suit and red tie.

“Look, here’s the story: The George Washington Bridge, he knew about it. Hey, how do you have breakfast with people every day of your lives. They’re closing up the largest bridge in the world. They never said, ‘Hey boss, we’re closing up the George Washington Bridge tonight.’ No, they never said that. They’re talking about the weather, right? So he knew about it. Totally knew about it.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Civil War (event): 1. War fought between the Northern States and the Southern States between 1861 and 1865, over the cause of slavery.
2. Event that Andrew Jackson would have never let happen, if he hadn’t died sixteen years prior to the event;
This word may also possibly refer to the coming Civil War.

“People don’t realize, you know, the civil war, if you think about it, why? People don’t ask that question, but why was there a civil war? Why could that one not have been worked out?” -Donald Trump, 2017

Classified (adjective): 1. Highly confidential or secret information only available to persons with proper authorization;
2. An increasingly used excuse for not releasing information the public has a right to know;
3. Information sometimes freely exchanged via email without penalty;
4. Information sometimes freely sent to the public via Twitter;
5. Information sometimes freely exchanged with Russian officials.

“This is code-word information. [Trump] revealed more information to the Russian ambassador than we have shared with our own allies.” -US official familiar with the meeting, 2017

Classy (adjective): 1. Trumpspeak for someone or something that Donald Trump is sophisticated and intelligent, but is often none of those things;
2. Examples include; Trump’s golden apartment, his hotels, his wife;
3. Something Trump is not.
Not to be confused with: Classist, which is something that Trump very much is.

“I built the Grand Hyatt right next to Grand Central Station — beautiful, classy job—but then the city denied my request to have the top ten floors illuminated with my face at night. Can you believe that?” -Donald Trump, 2015

Clinton Machine (noun): 1. Catchall term used to describe the influence of the Clintons on politics and in other realms of policy and national interest;
2. A group that exerts control over the activities, votes, and direction of a political party through political influence, intimidation, and alleged illegal activities;
3. The sex robot that Bill keeps hidden in his closet.

“If you look at Bill Clinton, far worse. Mine were words and his was action. What he’s done to women, there’s never been anybody in the history of politics in this nation that’s been so abusive to women,” -Donald Trump, 2016

Clown (noun): 1. President Joe Biden’s nickname President for Donald Trump;
2. An entity that wears too much makeup, is somewhat scary to children, has terrible hair, makes bad jokes, and was only entertaining thirty years ago.
See also: Beclowned Himself

“I should have said, this is a ‘clownish undertaking,’ instead of calling him a ‘clown’… I was trying to figure out how I could possibly have him respect the debate, respect the evening, respect the moderator, and get us an opportunity to speak.” -Joseph Biden, 2020

Co-Founder (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Hillary Clinton during the 2016 election, a reference to his belief that through her actions as Secretary of State, along with President Obama, helped to co-found ISIS;
2. The name of the oppressive villain in Kellyanne Conway’s young adult dystopian series.

“In many respects, you know, they honor President Obama. He’s the founder of ISIS. He’s the founder of ISIS. He’s the founder. He founded ISIS… I would say the co-founder would be crooked Hillary Clinton.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Coalition Core (noun): 1. Trump’s core support group;
2. According to multiple pundits: uneducated older white Americans.
3. The worst superhero team ever assembled.
See also: The Base

“Democrats have moved, independents have moved, other religious groups have moved, so it is a Republican Party and a shrinking, aging White Christian base that is increasingly out of touch with where the country is.” -Robert P. Jones, CEO of the Nonpartisan Public Religion Research Institute, 2020

Cocaine and Orgies (plural noun): 1. Something that Republican congress members engage in behind closed doors, according to Congressman Madison Cawthorn;
2. Two examples of misconduct by GOP members that were hinted at by Cawthorn during a podcast interview with The Warrior Poet;
3. Party that Ted Cruz keeps asking to get invited to, but always ends with him being given a fake address.
See also: Madison Cawthorn

“The sexual perversion that goes on in Washington … being kind of a young guy in Washington, where the average age is probably 60 or 70 — [you] look at all these people, a lot of them that I’ve looked up to through my life, I’ve always paid attention to politics. … Then all of a sudden you get invited — ‘We’re going to have a sexual get-together at one of our homes, you should come.’ … What did you just ask me to come to? And then you realize they’re asking you to come to an orgy. … Some of the people leading on the movement to try and remove addiction in our country, and then you watch them do a key bump of cocaine right in front of you. And it’s like, this is wild.” -Madison Cawthorn, 2022

Collusion (noun): 1. Secret or illegal act of conspiracy or cooperation, usually meant to cheat or deceive others;
2. Something Donald Trump absolutely in no way ever in-a-million-years, triple infinity, never did with Russia in order to win the 2016 elections.
See also: Mueller Report

“There has been no collusion between the Trump campaign and Russians or Trump and Russians. No collusion. When I watch you interviewing all the people leaving their committees, I mean, the Democrats are all running for office, trying to say this that, but bottom line, they all say there’s no collusion. And there is no collusion.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Comb-Over (verb): 1. Donald Trump’s hair, which is a result of scalp-reduction surgery, careful styling held in place by strong hairspray, and too much cheap dye;
2. Strategy used by the Republican Party to hide their bald-faced lies.

“[Ivanka Trump] often described the mechanics behind it to friends: an absolutely clean pate — a contained island after scalp-reduction surgery — surrounded by a furry circle of hair around the sides and front, from which all ends are drawn up to meet in the center and then swept back and secured by a stiffening spray.” -Michael Wolff, Fire and Fury, 2018

Complicit (noun): 1. 2017 sketch from Saturday Night Live starring Scarlett Johansson as Ivanka Trump, which was a parody advertisement for a perfume named Complicit;
2. Accusation often leveled at Ivanka who claims to be a fmeinist and advocate for women and yet condones and excuses the behavior of her father;
3. Actual original fragrance used by Ivanka, consisting of an aroma of cold Russian Vodka, a slight whiff of dirty money, and pungent odor of sweat shop.

“At the senior staff meeting, Ivanka couldn’t stop bemoaning it, how offensive it was, how ridiculous it was. We’d all been subject to SNL attacks… But Ivanka would not stop talking about being ribbed. Like her father, Ivanka was thin-skinned and could not seem to take a joke.” -Omarosa Manigault, Unhinged, 2018

Congress (noun): 1. Referring to the Congress of the United States of America, it is an august and bicameral legislature that is charged with passing federal laws, confirming presidential appointments, maintaining the national budget, and is invested with the power to declare war;
2. Deliberative body where there is a lot of deliberation, but very little action;
3. Legislature ruled by two parties, one of which is self-defeating and the other of which is evil;
4. Place where elected officials will do anything to remain in power.

“There are a lot of people disappointed in [Republican leader, Mitch McConnell.] He could have mobilized the Senate. But the Republican Party changed underneath [Trump], and he wanted to remain in power.” -David Hawpe, 2020

Controlled Depression (noun): 1. Conspiracy theory trumpeted by Michael Flynn that the coronavirus would send the global economy into a controlled depression which would then allow elites to shut down all forms of communications;
2. May also refer to the manufactured and imaginary SARS outbreak;
3. What it’s called every time you are forced to listen to anything said by Michael Flynn.

“We’re going to see an uptick in other aspects of the COVID. There might even be another form of a SARS that’s imposed on the international system … because their little plan with COVID didn’t work because too many people in the world of what I call the digital warriors, or the citizen journalists that are out there, they are fighting for the truth.” -Michael Flynn, 2021

Conway, Kellyanne (noun): 1. Campaign manager and counselor to Donald Trump, Republican operative, and practiced liar;
2. Person who is used to having a lot of awkward evening dinners with her family.
See also: Alternative Facts

“I don’t believe journalists are the enemy of the people. I think some journalists are the enemy of the relevant.” -Kellyanne Conway, 2018

Coronavirus (noun): 1. Novel coronavirus, or COVID-19, was discovered in 2019 in the Wuhan province of China, and would eventually become one of the deadliest pandemics in a century, affecting every country, family, and person and leading to global lockdowns, mandates, economic collapse, job loss, supply shortages, and Zoom-fatigue;
2. Disease that will go away by April, when the weather gets a little warmer;
3. Virus that can be miraculously cured by hydroxychloroquine, chloroquine, azithromycin, or remdesivir*
4. Democratic and/or Chinese plot to make Donald Trump look bad;
5. Something that will get better after election day, November 4, 2020.
6. Illness contracted by Donald and Melania Trump in September, 2020;
7. Crisis that Donald Trump never took seriously, was unprepared for, and only cared about when it affected his ratings in the polls, all of which resulted in over 400,000 deaths in the United States by the time he left office in January of 2021.
*Warning: do not use hydroxychloroquine, chloroquine, azithromycin, or remdesivir or any other cure recommended by Donald Trump. Side Effects include: vomiting, diarrhea, death, and an irrational belief that Bill Gates is microchipping vaccines.

“We have made tremendous progress with the China Virus, but the Fake News refuses to talk about it this close to the Election. COVID, COVID, COVID is being used by them, in total coordination, in order to change our great early election numbers. Should be an election law violation!” -Donald Trump, 2020

Cotton Candy Made of Piss (description): 1. How Penn Jillette described his impression of Trump’s hair during an appearance on Celebrity Apprentice;
2. What they feed Stephen Miller every night before he retires back to the catacombs.
See also: Comb-Over

“[Trump is] the worst person who ever lived, and the best thing about him is that his hair looks like cotton candy made of piss.” -Penn Jillette, 2012

Count Me Out (noun): 1. General statement meant to imply that the speaker does not wish to participate in an activity or group, such as a group that is associated with trying to overthrow the United States government;
2. Disingenuous phrase spoken by Lindsey Graham in regards to his relationship to Donald Trump in the immediate aftermath of the January 6th Insurrection;
3. Utterance by Graham which was almost immediately proven false days later when Graham began defending Trump and justifying his coup attempt;
4. Statement made by Lindsey Graham’s spine a few days after January 6, 2021.
See also: Lady G

“Trump and I, we had a hell of a journey,” Graham said on the Senate floor Wednesday night after lawmakers reconvened following the violent uprising at the Capitol from Trump supporters earlier in the day. “I hate it being this way. Oh my god I hate it … but today all I can say is count me out. Enough is enough.” -Lindsey Graham, 2021

Coup, Stupid (noun): 1. Possible Trump-led coup that was undertaken after Donald Trump’s re-election bid in 2020, which involved a plan by John Eastman to have Vice President Mike Pence invalidate Democratic State Electors, and push either for a state-by-state vote or a simple majority win for Trump;
2. Military coup as pushed by Michael Flynn and/or a plan for Trump to declare martial law as put forth by a pillow salesman, Michael Lindell;
3. When Trump tried to pressure Georgia, to throw out the state’s elections because the results were not favorable to him;
4. Incitement by the president that directly led to the events of January 6, 2021;
5. A trump coup is a winning strategy in the card game Bridge;
6. A Trump-led coup is not a winning strategy in American democracy.
See also: January 6th

“It can be a coup even if most of the people leading the coup are dumb.” -Seth Myers, 2021

Covfefe (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s misspelling of coffee;
2. Secret message from Trump to his supporters signaling the start of his takedown of the demonic Clinton-led cabal in Washington;
3. A way to Troll the Libs;
4. Russian word that translates to: “Hi Mom.”
See also: Twitter

“Despite the constant negative press covfefe.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted May 2017

Crazy Bernie (noun): 1. Nickname for Senator Bernie Sanders, a progressive independent, professed Democratic Socialist, and possible Democratic presidential candidate in 2016 and 2020;
2. Only candidate that Trump is actually afraid of, as the fervor of Bernie Bros sometimes rises to the level of MAGA fanaticism;
3. Candidate that makes the most sense, but is often ignored by the media except when being played by Larry David;
4. Unadvised skateboard trick that has claimed multiple lives.

“Looks like Crazy Bernie is doing well in the Great State of Nevada. Biden & the rest look weak, & no way Mini Mike can restart his campaign after the worst debate performance in the history of Presidential Debates.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted February 2020

Crazy Jim Acosta (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for CNN’s chief White House correspondent Jim Acosta;
2. Person who seems to get under Trump’s skin the most;
3. Reporter that once had his microphone taken away at a press conference for asking what Trump meant by an “invasion” of migrants;
4. Person who Trump barred from the White House and had secret service deny him entrance to the premises.
See also: Low Ratings CNN

“That’s enough… Put down the mic… CNN should be ashamed of itself, having you working for them. You are a rude, terrible person. The way you treat [Press Secretary] Sarah Huckabee is horrible.” -Donald Trump to Jim Acosta, 2018

Crazy Maxine Waters (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Representative Maxine Waters from California who has been critical of his policies;
2. African American woman who the GOP often tries to stereotype as an “angry black woman,” despite her reasonable approach to governance and her noted dedication to non-violence.
Not to be confused with: Crazy Maximum Water, the newest health-drink craze to hit Southern California

“Congratulations to Maxine Waters, whose crazy rants have made her, together with Nancy Pelosi, the unhinged FACE of the Democrat Party. Together, they will Make America Weak Again! But have no fear, America is now stronger than ever before, and I’m not going anywhere!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted June 2018

Crazy Megyn (noun): 1. Former anchor on Fox News who clashed with Donald Trump over issues concerning women and his temperament. She would later leave Fox News, but not before the resignation of Roger Ailes and confirming that she was one of the people he sexually harassed;
2. Conservative pundit that is still not as conservative as most of Trump’s base;
3. What Trump calls women when he forgets their names.
See also: Fox News

“You could see there was blood coming out of [Megyn Kelly’s] eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever.” -Donald Trump, 2015

Crazy Uncle Donnie (noun): 1. Internet memes mocking Donald Trump after Savannah Guthrie told him that he was “not someone’s crazy uncle,” during an NBC News town hall event;
2. Person who will offer you “low low crazy prices” on a used car, just off of Interstate I-15.

“You’re not somebody’s crazy uncle who can just retweet whatever.” -Savannah Guthrie, 2020

Crooked H Flunkie (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Maggie Haberman, the White House correspondent for The New York Times;
2. Haberman covered Trump’s 2016 campaign, and also in 2012 when he dropped out at a press event for The Apprentice;
3. The reason why Trump canceled his New York Times subscription.
See also: Failing New York Times

“The New York Times and a third-rate reporter named Maggie Haberman known as a Crooked H flunkie who I don’t speak to and have nothing to do with, are going out of their way to destroy Michael Cohen and his relationship with me in the hope that he will ‘flip…” -Donald Trump, Tweeted April 2018

Crooked Hillary (noun): 1. Hillary Clinton is a former first lady, secretary of state, and senator who ran for President in 2008 and 2016. The democratic nominee in 2016, she was Trump’s chief opponent in the general elections;
2. Former friend of Donald Trump to whom he often donated money;
3. Winner of the popular vote in the 2016 election;
4. Candidate that wants people to “Pokémon Go to the polls.”
See also: Lock Her Up

“If I win, I am going to instruct my attorney general to get a special prosecutor to look into [Hillary Clinton’s] situation because there has never been so many lies, so much deception. There has never been anything like it, and we’re going to have a special prosecutor.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Cruz to Cancun (reference): 1. Reference to when Texas Senator Ted Cruz, in a show of leadership, went on an impromptu trip to Cancun while his home state was dealing massive power outages and a state of emergency;
2. When Cruz was caught by reporters he immediately flew back home and then bravely blamed the trip on his children;
3. Event that Ted Cruz then tried to laugh out with several poorly executed jokes;
4. The worst cruise offered by Carnival Cruise Line, full of weird stringy beard hair, obnoxious-sounding laughs, and fellow passengers who are always trying to take away your abortion and healthcare rights.

“I gotta say, Orlando is awesome. It’s not as nice as Cancún — but it’s nice!” -Ted Cruz, 2022

Cryin’ Chuck (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Senator Chuck Schumer from New York and Senate Minority/Majority Leader;
2. Nickname coined by Trump to mock Schumer because he got emotional during a speech against Trump’s immigration order;
3. Proof that Trump is a twelve-year-old bully with very few friends.

“Cryin’ Chuck Schumer fully understands, especially after his humiliating defeat, that if there is no Wall, there is no DACA. We must have safety and security, together with a strong Military, for our great people.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted

Cuck (noun): 1. Derogatory term for a perceived weak or effeminate man, that has roots in the word, “cuckold,” an old-fashioned term for a man whose wife is having sex with another man;
2. Catch-all term among the alt-right for other men who are perceived as betraying their gender through feminism or by embracing political correctness;
3. Term derived from a genre of pornography that depicts a man watching his wife have sex with another man, typically this has racial undertones often playing to the fear that a white man is inferior, sexually to a black man;
4. Word that resonates with white nationalists who feel insecure about their place in a country that is becoming increasingly multicultural and multi-racial, especially in the wake of the Obama Presidency;
Similar to: “snowflake,” “beta,” “libtard,” etc…

“[Steve Bannon] recently vented to us about Jared [Kushner] being a ‘globalist’ and a ‘cuck’…He actually said ‘cuck,’ as in ‘cuckservative’.” -Senior White House Official, to the Daily Beast, 2017

Cutie Pie (noun): 1. Donald Trump nickname for ABC News White House correspondent, Johnathan Karl;
2. Name given in response to Karl asking about ventilators in the context of COVID-19 response;
3. Second worst type, right after coconut custard.

“Look, don’t be a cutie pie, okay?” -Donald Trump, 2020

Cyber Ninjas (noun): 1. Trump-supporting firm who convinced the Arizona legislature to let them audit the 2020 election ballots, despite there having already been several official audits;
2. Hit Saturday morning cartoon that ran from 1984 to 1986.
See also: The Big Lie

“This is what they do, this is what they are good at — but everybody will be watching Arizona tomorrow to see what the highly respected auditors and Arizona State Senate found out regarding the so-called Election!” -Donald Trump, 2021

Cyber, The (noun): 1. Garbled nonsense word that may or may not refer to the Internet;
2. According to Donald Trump, the cyber hacking of the Democratic National Committee was committed by China, or by Solar, or by the Democrats themselves… or really anyone other than Russia.

“I have a son. He’s 10 years old. He has computers. He is so good with these computers, it’s unbelievable. The security aspect of cyber is very, very tough. And maybe it’s hardly do-able. But I will say, we are not doing the job we should be doing.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Da Nang Dick (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Democratic senator, Richard Blumenthal;
2. Senator from Connecticut who sued Trump in 2017 for violating the Emoluments Clause of the US Constitution;
3. Man whose nickname is a reference to the fact that Blumenthal served in the Marine Corps Reserves during the Vietnam War, but was never served overseas as he once erroneously claimed;
4. Man whose father-in-law, Peter Malkin, often competed with the Trump family in the New York real estate market, including in a deal involving control of the Empire State building;
5. What you get after accidentally spilling fish sauce down your pants.

“How does Da Nang Dick (Blumenthal) serve on the Senate Judiciary Committee when he defrauded the American people about his so called War Hero status in Vietnam, only to later admit, with tears pouring down his face, that he was never in Vietnam. An embarrassment to our Country!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted January 2019

Daniels, Stormy (noun): 1. The professional named Stephanie Gregory Clifford, an adult film actor;
2. Someone who entered into a willing sexual situation with Donald Trump and signed a non-disclosure agreement in exchange for an illegal bribe paid with Trump Campaign funds;
3. A woman who went on national television and described Trump’s toadstool;
4. A name that does not appear on Melania Trump’s Christmas card list.
See also: Individual-1

“Federal Judge throws out Stormy Danials lawsuit versus Trump. Trump is entitled to full legal fees.” @FoxNews Great, now I can go after Horseface and her 3rd rate lawyer in the Great State of Texas. She will confirm the letter she signed! She knows nothing about me, a total con!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted October 2018

Deathsantis (noun): 1. Billboard that was erected in Florida by Santa Rosa Beach attorney Daniel Uhlfelder, proclaiming: “Ron Deathsantis: Killing Florida with his stupidity;”
2. Trending hashtag referencing the high death toll in Florida from the COVID-19 pandemic, partially due to the fact that Governor Ron DeSantis refused to implement mask mandates, close down restaurants and public meeting spaces, and actively resisted vaccine mandates and testing;
3. Florida ranked as the third highest state in coronavirus deaths, behind Texas and California with almost 75,000 deaths and six million recorded cases;
4. 80’s heavy metal band from St. Pete Beach, Florida, that plays modern heavy metal music, but with the average age of all members of the band being 82.5.

“I need your help. Please retweet this far and wide. I am getting a billboard outside the Governor’s mansion in Tallahassee to expose & humiliate Ron DeSantis. I am sick and tired of watching him kill fellow Floridians. 250 patriots by midnight here:” -Daniel Uhlfelder, Tweeted July 2020

Deep State (noun): 1. Sinister term referring to the professional bureaucrats that work in the cabinet-level offices and other departments in the government;
2. A powerful cabal of Washington liberal operatives who continue to follow the Obama agenda thwart Donald Trump at every turn;
3. Reference to the lost and sunken fifty-first state of Atlantis.
See also; Leaks

“Unelected deep state operatives who defy the voters to push their own secret agendas are truly a threat to democracy itself.” -Donald Trump 2018

Defund the Police (verb): 1. Slogan that signifies one’s support for divesting funds from traditional policing methods to allocate them to non-policing organizations, such as social services, youth services, education, and healthcare;
2. Common slogan during the 2020 summer protests after the death of George Floyd;
3. Admittedly clumsy slogan that does not capture the true meaning of the movement, and is often criticized by right-wing and policing advocates as a cry for anarchy and the abolishment of police in general;
4. May also refer to Donald Trump’s 2021 budget proposals which called for more than $400 million in cuts to federal funding for community policing programs and other state and local law enforcement initiatives.

“Biden has vowed to defund the police, do all sorts of things to law enforcement that are bad. [In] Joe Biden’s America you and your family will never, ever be safe… Your police will be disrespected and they’ll be a much smaller force and it’s just not gonna happen. We can’t let it happen.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Deligitimatize (verb): 1. Trumpspeak for delegitimize;
2. What Donald Trump is doing to democracy.

“Trump’s primary use of Twitter has been to spread propaganda and manipulate public opinion. He used Twitter to delegitimize information or to delegitimize the positions of his opponents.” -Sam Woolley, director for propaganda research at the University of Texas, 2021

Democratic Backsliding (verb): 1. Also known as autocratization, this is a gradual decline in the quality of democracy and if unchecked, a process that results in a nation losing its democratic qualities, and becoming an autocratic or authoritarian;
2. Indications include: gerrymandering, voter suppression, lies about stolen elections, increases in political polarization, excessive political influence for political donors and private companies, and people waving Confederate flags storming the US Capitol building;
3. In 2021, the International Institute for Democracy and Electoral Assistance (IDEA) officially added the United States to its list of countries with backsliding democracies;
4. What Donald Trump calls it when he lets the prostitutes that he’s hired for the night vote on which bed they want to use.

“I resisted for a long time applying the fascist label to Donald J. Trump… [But] Trump’s incitement of the invasion of the Capitol on January 6, 2020 removes my objection to the fascist label. His open encouragement of civic violence to overturn an election crosses a red line. The label now seems not just acceptable but necessary.” -Robert O. Paxton, Author of The Anatomy of Fascism, 2021

Deplorables (noun): 1. A moniker given to Trump voters by Hillary Clinton during the 2016 Presidential election;
2. Statement which man observers felt this was a contributing factor to her loss;
3. A moniker embraced by Trump voters;
4. The punk rock band who burned down a Hyatt Regional in Sandusky, Ohio in 1996

“You know, to just be grossly generalistic, you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables. Right? The racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic, you name it.” – Hillary Clinton, 2016

Diet Coke Button (noun): 1. Button that was on the Resolute Desk that summons one of Donald Trump’s underlings to deliver him a Diet Coke;
2. Secret Service codename given to Donald Trump Jr’s cocaine dealer.

“I interviewed Donald Trump in 2019, we became fascinated by what the little red button did. Eventually Trump pressed it, and a butler swiftly brought in a Diet Coke on a silver platter.” -Tom Newton, Dunn, 2021

Do-Over (noun): 1. Reference to ongoing efforts by attorney, John Eastman, to decertify the results of the 2020 presidential election;
2. Specifically, a reference to a 2022 trip to Wisconsin, by Eastman where he urged Wisconsin Assembly speaker, Robin Vos, to nullify the 2020 election and start “reclaiming the electors” so that they could move forward with either having a new slate of electors seated that declare the a “do-over” for an election that had taken place two years prior;
3. Exact tactic that Donald Trump uses to keep both his golf score and the age of his wife so low.
See also: John Eastman

“Our ex-president isn’t allowed a do-over just because he didn’t like the result the first time. That’s how you get an Eric.” -Stephen Colbert, 2022

Does this Man have No Shame? (inquiry): 1. Rhetorical question spoken by Stephen Colbert about Donald Trump after Trump called upon Vladimir Putin to release damaging information on Joe Biden, while Putin was directing the Invasion of Ukraine;
2. Generalized question spoken by many who have interacted with Trump over the years both privately and publicly;
3. Question where the answer is always, “Yes.”

“Damn, he’s asking for Russian help through the TV again? Does this man have no shame? And I withdraw the question.” -Stephen Colbert, 2022

Dominion (noun): 1. Dominion Voting Systems is a company that sells voting hardware and software in the United States and Canada;
2. A company that filed billion-dollar lawsuits for defamation against Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, Michael Lindell, Fox, OAN, Newsmax, and anyone who ever put a piece of chewing gum on a voting machine;
3. A sinister organization Venezuelan dictator, Hugo Chavez, almost a decade after his death in order to rig the 2020 election against Donald Trump.
See also: Rigged System

“The Dominion Voting Systems… were created in Venezuela at the direction of Hugo Chavez to make sure he never lost an election after one constitutional referendum came out the way he did not want it to come out.” -Sidney Powell, 2021

Donald-Manson Experiment (noun): 1. Study of the Donald Trump supporters and their extreme loyalty;
2. Comparison between Trump supporters and the cult-like behavior observed by the members of the Charles Manson family;
3. Study that parallels an analysis of Trump’s personality, and infant-like need for attention with the fondness of a portion of the population for authoritarian strongmen;
4. Terrible name for a garage band.

“The oddity in all of this is the people Trump despises most, love him the most. Go look at Mar-a-lago, see if there’s any people that look like you. I’m talking to you in the audience, the Trump voter who, you, idolizes the guy. He despises you.” -Howard Stern, 2020

Don’t Blame Me… (phrase): 1. Slogan that arose among right-wing voters after the 2021 election, most often reading: “Don’t Blame Me, I Voted for Trump,” which is meant as a tacit condemnation of President Biden’s approval ratings and a way of saying “I told you so,” to their imagined left-wing strawman opponents;
2. Also, may refer to Donald Trump’s leadership style where everybody but himself is usually to blame for the failings of his administration, policy, and initiatives;
3. Paradoxical term where the person who utters it is usually the one most worthy of blame.

“The buck stops with everybody.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Don’t Fauci My Florida (phrase): 1. Slogan created by the political team around Florida Governor, Ron DeSantis that refers to Dr. Anthony Fauci and his recommendations for mask-wearing, vaccine mandates, and other restrictions related to stopping the spread of COVID-19;
2. Logo on merchandise sold by the political action committee for the election of DeSantis;
3. Slogan which has resulted in Florida having more than 3.7 million coronavirus cases and almost 62,000 coronavirus-related deaths;
4. Short-lived wing sauce that debuted in Epcot Center between August and October 1997.

“I think it’s very important that we say, unequivocally, no to lockdowns, no to school closures, no to restrictions and no mandates,” -Ron DeSantis, 2021

Don’t Say Gay (noun): 1. Colloquial term for Florida’s Parental Rights in Education bill, which would limit teachers in grade 3 and lower from discussing any sort of mention of sexual orientation or gender identity;
2. Florida bill which would guarantee that Parent Career Day for children of same-sex couples is going to get awkward, and possibly litigious;
3. The reason prices at Disney World will go up;
4. What Mike Pence sweatily utters to himself every time he adverts his eyes from an advertisement for men’s underwear.

“Florida’s HB 1557, also known as the ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill, should never have passed and should never have been signed into law. Our goal as a company is for this law to be repealed by the legislature or struck down in the courts, and we remain committed to supporting the national and state organizations working to achieve that.” -The Walt Disney Company, 2022

Dopey CNN Flunky (noun): 1. Trump’s nickname for Paul Begala, a former adviser to President Bill Clinton;
2. The eighth and most forgotten dwarf.

“To quote the immortal words of George W. Bush in the first minute after Trump’s inaugural address: ‘That was some weird s—t.’” -Paul Begala, 2020

Dopey Mark Cuban (noun): 1. Trump’s nickname for his frenemy Mark Cuban;
2. Businessman, celebrity show host, owner of the Dallas Mavericks;
3. Baby shark… Do do do do do do do.

“Look, personally I don’t have a problem with the guy. Now professionally as the president, I think he’s an idiot. You know, I never thought he was smart in talking to him… He said to me one time, ‘I don’t know if I’m going to win, but you should run for president someday. He actually was the first person to ever tell me to run for president. But I just didn’t get the sense that he thought he would win. I heard from people close to him he didn’t think he would win either.” -Mark Cuban, 2020

Double Down (verb): 1. To double the stakes when gambling;
2. To see the clear and reasonable evidence piling against you and decide that it’s better to dig your heels in and defend your questionable statement or position;
3. When Trump supporters were encouraged to vote twice.

“These mail-in ballots are a disgrace and they know it. Sign your mail-in ballot. Sign it and send it in and then you have to follow it. And if on Election Day or early voting, that is not tabulated and counted, you go vote.” – Donald Trump, 2020

Douglass, Frederick (noun): 1. A writer, orator, reformer, statesman, abolitionist, and former slave, Douglass was a renowned abolitionist leading up to and during the years of the American Civil War, and advocate of African American rights after the war. He died in 1891;
2. Someone who may still be alive and is getting recognized more and more.

“Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Drain the Swamp (phrase/verb): 1. Donald Trump phrase that promised ethics and lobbying reforms, and vows about stopping members of his Administration from profiting from their service;
2. Promises which were mostly unkept or in many instances made worse than before;
3. Phrase that Trump has rebranded to mean almost anything he objects to, including reporters, opponents, bureaucrats, and opposing politicians.
4. The reason they dug that sinkhole in the White House lawn.
See also: The Swamp

“I will say this, people control special interests, lobbyists, donors, they make large contributions to politicians and they have total control over those politicians, and frankly, I know the system better than anybody else and I’m the only one up here that’s going to be able to fix that system, because that system is wrong.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Drumpf (noun): 1. The former surname of the Trump family when Donald Trump’s grandfather emigrated to America in 1885;
2. The sound couch cushions make when Donald Trump sits on them.

“Imagine how you feel if you just met a guy named Donald Drumpf, a litigious serial liar with a string of broken business ventures and the support of a Klan leader, who he can’t decide whether or not to condemn. Do you think he would make a good president?” -John Oliver, 2016

Duarte (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte;
2. Brutal dictator that has put his country under martial law, jailed opposition leaders and journalists, and killed hundreds of his own people;
3. Someone Donald Trump has a “great relationship” with, and a “warm rapport.”

“President Trump specifically said he has always been a friend of the Duterte administration, unlike the previous administrations of the United States. He stressed that he can be counted upon as a friend of the Duterte administration.” -Harry Roque, Spokesman for Rodrigo Duterte, 2017

Dumb as a Rock (insult): 1. Donald Trump’s criticism of his former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson;
2. Man who is from Texas, was the former chairman and CEO of ExxonMobil, and has a name that sounds like it was thought-up by an unimaginative novelist trying to name their Texas oil-tycoon character;
3. Man who described Trump as being “undisciplined” and a “f*cking moron;”
4. Secretary of State that was fired by Trump, mostly because he was tired of Tillerson telling him that everything he wanted to do was “illegal.”

“Mike Pompeo is doing a great job, I am very proud of him. His predecessor, Rex Tillerson, didn’t have the mental capacity needed. He was dumb as a rock and I couldn’t get rid of him fast enough. He was lazy as hell. Now it is a whole new ballgame, great spirit at State!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted December 2018

Dumber Than Dryer Lint (phrase): 1. A description of the United States President given by someone in the Twitter-verse, Donald Trump’s favorite platform in which he uses to insult, brag, and mostly lie;
2. Worst Dr. Seuss book in circulation.

“People love me. And you know what? I’ve been very successful. Everybody loves me.” -Donald Trump, 2015

Eastman, John (noun): 1. Lawyer and unsuccessful Republican congressional candidate, he is most well-known for his participation in Donald Trump’s attempt to overturn the 2020 presidential election;
2. Author of a memorandum that laid out a six-point plan for keeping Donald Trump in office, which hinged on Mike Pence decertifying electors from seven different states, including Arizona, and would then send it back to the states where the Republican controlled legislatures could appoint a new slate of electors, drawn from Trump loyalists;
3. Author of a 2020 op-ed in Newsweek claiming that Kamala Harris was not a US born citizen, which is legally and logically false as she was born in Oakland, California;
4. Man who invoked the Fifth Amendment 146 times during his meeting with the January 6th Committee;
5. Person who is longitudinal opposite of John Westman.

“I think if the vice president, as presiding over the joint session, would at least agree that because those ongoing contests have not been resolved, we can’t count those electors. That, that means that nobody has a majority of the electors, and either they delay things – so those constitutional challenges are resolved – or they say, ‘OK, well, we don’t have electors from those states, that nobody has a majority. This is going to the House.” -John Eastman, 2021

Eating Machine (noun): 1. Nickname Donald Trump gave to former Miss Universe Alicia Machado;
2. Secret service codename for Donald Trump.
See also: Miss Universe

“I know what I left with him and he knows, too, and he was really aggressive. He was really rude. He was a bad person with me. That is the story that I need to share with my community. We cannot accept no more insults for my Latin community. No more insults for the women. I know very well Mr. Trump and I can see the same person that I met 20 years ago.” -Alicia Machado, 2016

Educatuon, Secretary of (noun): 1. A misspelled reference to Betsey DeVos, the US Secretary of Education under Trump;
2. A person who has never been a teacher, professor, educator, or has ever attended a PTA meeting, but was given the position due to the large donation she gave to the Trump Campaign;
3. A person who believed that teachers should be armed with guns in case of bear attacks.

“No, I’m not cutting services, but I’m cutting spending. But I may cut the Department of Education.” -Donald Trump, 2015

Elites, The (plural noun): 1. Umbrella term often used by Donald Trump to describe anyone who is against him from Hollywood actors to suburban school teachers;
2. Paradoxical term to describe people other than Trump, who claims he is not an elite despite owning resorts, flying on private jets, and having a solid gold apartment in Manhattan;
Not to be confused with “the eLite”, which is a failed business idea for a flashlight that you can plug into your phone.

“You know, I always hear ‘the elite, the elite.’ Well, I always said… ‘they are the elite, I’m not. I have a better education than them, I’m smarter than them, I went to the best schools, they didn’t. [I have a] much more beautiful house, much more beautiful apartment, much more beautiful everything. And I’m president and they’re not, right?” -Donald Trump, 2019

Emoluments Clause (noun): 1. Clause in the US Constitution that generally prohibits federal officeholders from receiving any gift, payment, or other thing of value from a foreign state or its rulers, officers, or representatives;
2. Clause in the US Constitution that Donald Trump broke when he failed to divest himself from his personal companies, including hotels that were often frequented by foreign officials and dignitaries;
3. Santa Claus’ lesser-known cousin.

“You people with this phony Emoluments Clause.” Donald Trump in response to questions about hosting the G7 Summit at his personal resort, 2019

Enemy of the People (noun): 1. How Donald Trump refers to the mainstream news media;
2. What will be written on Donald Trump’s tombstone.
See also: Fake News

“There is great anger in our Country caused in part by inaccurate, and even fraudulent, reporting of the news. The Fake News Media, the true Enemy of the People, must stop the open & obvious hostility & report the news accurately & fairly. That will do much to put out the flame of Anger and Outrage and we will then be able to bring all sides together in Peace and Harmony. Fake News Must End!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted October 2018

Environmental Protection Agency (noun): 1. Abbreviated as EPA, it is the organization normally tasked with protecting the environment;
2. The organization, under Donald Trump, tasked with not protecting the environment and even banning employees from using words related to climate change;
3. An organization that helped Scott Pruitt’s wife get a job at Chick-fil-A;
See also: Global Warming

“We all understand the need for a healthy environment, but we represent a wide range of viewpoints regarding the extent to which man contributes to climate change and the costs and benefits of any proposed fix.” Scott Pruitt, 2016

Epstein, Jeffrey (noun): 1. A financier and convicted sex offender who threw elaborate parties on private islands with wealthy and powerful people and with trafficked sex workers. He killed himself while in jail in 2019;
2. A common name mentioned in conspiracy theories on both the right and left of the political spectrum;
3. A close personal friend of Donald Trump.

“I’ve known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy… He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it. Jeffrey enjoys his social life.” -Donald Trump, 2002

Executive Time (noun): 1. Clearly marked time on Donald Trump’s agenda where he is not to be bothered;
2. Similar to when adults allow a toddler to have screen time.

“The schedule says Trump has ‘Executive Time’ in the Oval Office every day from 8am to 11am, but the reality is he spends that time in his residence, watching TV, making phone calls and tweeting.” -Jonathon Swan, 2018

Extreme Vetting (verb): 1. Neat and encouraging description of an idealistic immigrant screening process;
2. Grossly undefined notion with little merit or action spoken by Donald Trump;
3. Newest extreme sport which the ASPCA and animal rights activists call, “extremely disturbing,” and “now my cat has antlers.”

“We are establishing new vetting measures, to keep radical Islamic terrorists out of the United States of America. We don’t want ’em here. We want to ensure we aren’t admitting into our country the very threats that our men and women are fighting overseas.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Extremely Credible Source (noun): 1. Source cited by Donald Trump that is typically anonymous, and is telling Trump exactly what he wants to hear;
2. Hearsay that is passed off as hard evidence.
See also: A Lot of People Are Saying…

“An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that @BarackObama’s birth certificate is a fraud.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted August 2012

Failing New York Times (noun): 1. The New York Times is a leading national newspaper based in Manhattan in New York City, and has often been criticized by Donald Trump;
2. A publication that hit a thirteen year high in subscriptions during the Trump presidency, and made steady gains on the New York Stock Market.

“I just appreciate the meeting and I have great respect for The New York Times. Tremendous respect. It’s very special. Always has been very special. I think I’ve been treated very rough. It’s well out there that I’ve been treated extremely unfairly in a sense, in a true sense.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Fake News (noun): 1. Very real occurrence that happens on social media when relative racists share articles and memes that are designed to be misleading or outright false;
2. Any or all information released by the media deemed hurtful or insulting to one who has narcissistic and psychotic tendencies;
3. Phrase adapted by Donald Trump, and introduced into the public lexicon during his presidential campaign, that has led to the regulation and self-censorship of social media even though no one can agree on what the truth is;
4. 2017’s word of the year;
5. Similar to German term, “Lügenpresse,” or “lying press,” which was used by the Nazi party to dismiss and discredit news outlets during their rise to power.

“Any negative polls are fake news, just like the CNN, ABC, NBC polls in the election.” Donald Trump, 2017

Fake Polls (noun): 1. Polls that are unfavorable to Donald Trump, his approval ratings, his election numbers, or really anything to do with his presidency;
2. Related to the phenomena in 2016 where most US polls failed to predict the election victory of Trump over Hillary Clinton;
3. A phrase that allows Donald Trump to dismiss criticism, logic, science, and basic reality.

“By the way, you have a poll coming out. Unfortunately, I want to know what it is. You know they do that straw poll, right? If it’s bad, I just say it’s fake. If it’s good, I say, ‘That’s the most accurate poll, perhaps, ever.” -Donald Trump, 2021

Family Separation (war crime): 1. A zero-tolerance policy started under the Trump administration of separating children from their parents at the southern border of the United States, under the guidance of Jeff Sessions;
2. A policy that resulted in over four thousand children being separated from their parent or guardian in clear violation of United Nations and international treaties;
3. A policy that should have been implemented when Ivanka, Eric, and Donald Jr. were born.
See also: Mr. Magoo

“It’s the reality of a policy that was in place that resulted in large numbers of families being separated without forethought as to reunification and keeping track of people. “Judge Dana Sabra, 2018

Fantastic Four, The (noun): 1. Four individuals that through a cosmic accident developed a super-powered degree of delusion to stand up against the villainy of fact, logic, and truth;
2. The group included Republican congress members: Louie Gohmert with the fantastic ability to stretch the truth, Marjorie Taylor Greene with the ability to make facts seem invisible, Paul Gosar with the ability to be as dense as a rock, and Matt Gaetz with the ability to ignite a flame war;
3. Group of Republicans that visited the Washington jail where the January 6th rioters were being held to show solidarity with the insurrectionists and claim that they were being mistreated, framing their protests as a civil rights violation, while ironically claiming that most white criminals were being treated worse than the majority prison population which consisted mostly of African-Americans;
4. Version of the Fantastic Four that is still not as bad as the 2015 Josh Trank movie.

“To have a handful of white people in what is the nicer of the two facilities raise concerns and have that strong of a response locally is incredibly insulting to the value of Black life,” -Patrice Sulton, Director of the DC Justice Lab, 2021

Fauci, Dr. Anthony (noun): 1. Renowned physician and scientist director of the National Institute of Allergy, and Infectious Diseases, chief medical advisor to the president, recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, and has served under six presidents starting with Ronald Reagan;
2. Voice of reason and calm during the COVID-19 epidemic;
3. Man Donald Trump was often at odds with;
4. Man who often violated his own policies by touching his face whenever Trump spoke about the pandemic;
5. Probably does not have a career in baseball.
See also: Coronavirus

“Dr.Tony Fauci says we don’t allow him to do television, and yet I saw him last night on @60Minutes, and he seems to get more airtime than anybody since the late, great, Bob Hope. All I ask of Tony is that he make better decisions. He said ‘no masks & let China in’. Also, Bad arm!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted October 2020

Federal Communications Commission (noun): 1. The FCC is in charge of regulating communication by radio, television, wire, satellite, and cable across the United States;
2. An organization, under Trump, that was headed by Ajit Pai, a former Verizon lawyer and the frat boy villain in any college campus-centered movie from the 1980’s;
3. Under Pai the FCC revoked Net Neutrality and allowed Internet Service Providers free reign to regulate their own speeds and services to the American public;
4. The organization that is using 5G towers to monitor your brain waves.

“Net neutrality is the idea that your pipe to the Internet, whether that is your cable Internet connection, your LTE wireless connection, however you are receiving information via the Internet, that pipeline to the Internet is not allowed to arbitrarily pick favorites in terms of the content that you consume.” -Tay Zonday, 2017

Fire and Fury (noun): 1. Over-exaggerated threat made by Donald Trump to North Korea from his golf club in New Jersey;
2. A bestselling book written by Michael Wolf that takes a look into the Trump White House, and talks with several leakers to reveal insider and embarrassing information;
3. A finishing move from the video game Mortal Kombat.
See also: Leaks

“North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen… They will be met with fire, fury and frankly power the likes of which this world has never seen before.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Firehose of Falsehoods (noun): 1. Term used to describe Donald Trump’s way of speaking constant lies, misleading truths, and general inaccuracies;
2. According to The Washington Post Trump made 293 suspect claims in the first 100 days of his presidency;
3. According to The Washington Post Trump made 30,573 untrue or misleading statements by the end of his term, averaging about 21 false claims a day;
4. In his first term Trump averaged about 6 false claims a day, which rose to 16 claims in his second year, 22 claims a day in his third year, and peaked at 39 false claims a day in his final year in office;
Not to be confused with a “Firehose in Defense of Falsehoods,” which is what police often use to put down protests against police brutality.

“We know the President likes to stretch, bend, manipulate the truth. The Washington Post has counted more than 10,000 false or misleading claims since he took office, but in that firehose of falsehoods, it is his financial fibbing that just got busted in a major way. The New York Times got their hands on some of Donald Trump’s Federal tax figures. These are the ones that date back from 1985 to 1994. And we’re seeing a whole lot of red. More than $1 billion in financial losses. So bottom line, it has been a major con job.” -Brooke Baldwin, 2019

Five to One President (noun): 1. Nickname, given to Donald Trump by White House staff describing his routine office hours and TV-watching habits.
2. The odds that Vegas gave of the United States surviving the Trump Presidency.

“I know they like to say, people that don’t know me, they like to say I watch television. People with fake sources, you know, fake reporters, fake sources. But I don’t get to watch much television, primarily because of documents. I’m reading documents a lot.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Flag of the United States (noun): 1. The national symbol and standard of the United States;
2. The Star-Spangled Banner;
3. An object that Donald Trump has been known to fondle.

“Nobody should be allowed to burn the American flag – if they do, there must be consequences – perhaps loss of citizenship or year in jail!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted November 2016

Flailer, The (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Beto O’Rourke, a Democratic politician, former Texas congressman, and 2020 presidential candidate;
2. Candidate who is known for using large hand gestures;
3. Man who unsuccessful ran against Ted Cruz for his seat in the Senate, despite having the most favorable quality of “not being Ted Cruz;”
4. Nickname also given to O’Rourke’s college roommate who was a little too into LARPing.

“And I called [O’Rourke] right. Remember the flailing arms? Nobody noticed it, I noticed it. The flailer. Remember, he was flailing all over the place.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Flake, The (noun): 1. Donald Trump nickname given to Jeffrey Flake, former Republican Arizona senator who criticized Trump and afterward heroically did not seek reelection;
2. Opponent who harshly criticized Trump’s agenda and denounced the Trump Administration’s policies, and yet still voted in line with Trump 84% of the time;
3. Senator who voted against disaster relief for victims of Hurricane Katrina,
4. Man who was named Ambassador to Turkey under Joe Biden;
5. Name of a piece of falling ice that is small and dainty and often melts at the first sign of opposition.

“How could Jeff Flake, who is setting record low polling numbers in Arizona and was therefore humiliatingly forced out of his own Senate seat without even a fight (and who doesn’t have a clue), think about running for office, even a lower one, again? Let’s face it, he’s a Flake!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted June 2018

Flynn, Michael (noun): 1. Former United States Army Lieutenant General, and National Security Advisor under Donald Trump for 22 days, despite being warned about him by President Obama;
2. He had inappropriate contact with Russian officials, lied to the FBI about it;
3. Flynn suggested a possible military coup in order to keep Trump in power and often embraced the Q-Anon conspiracy;
4. He was a paid lobbyist for officials in Turkey;
5. Was once pardoned alongside a Turkey.
See also: Pardons

“It is my Great Honor to announce that General Michael T. Flynn has been granted a Full Pardon. Congratulations to [Flynn] and his wonderful family, I know you will now have a truly fantastic Thanksgiving!” -Donald Trump, 2020

Forest Fire (noun): 1. A conflagration that happens in a heavily wooded area and can easily get out of control;
2. A result of climate change that has grown as an increasing threat to the American west coast;
3. Something that can be prevented by raking the forest floor.
See also: Global Warming

“I was watching the firemen the other day, and they were raking areas. They were raking areas. They’re raking trees, little trees like this, nut trees, little bushes, that you could see are totally dry. Weeds. And they’re raking them. They’re on fire… That should have been all raked out. You wouldn’t have the fires.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Forsiva (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for forces;
2. Mystical land populated by elves, dwarves, and Russian trolls.

“When you [police] put somebody in the car and you’re protecting their head, you know, the way you put their hand over? Like, don’t hit their head, and they just killed somebody, don’t hit their head. I said, you can take the hand away, okay?” -Donald Trump, 2017

Founder (noun): 1. Nickname given by Donald Trump to President Barack Obama, as he claims that the former president was the founder of ISIS;
2. Accusation that Trump means literally.
See also Cheatin’ Obama

“No, I meant he’s the founder of ISIS. I do. He was the most valuable player. I give him the most valuable player award. I give her, too, by the way, Hillary Clinton.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Four Seasons Total Landscaping (noun): 1. Landscaping business located near Northeast Philadelphia, Pennsylvania that is located within the vicinity of a sex shop and a crematorium;
2. Location of a November 7, 2020 press conference conducted by Rudy Giuliani to discuss the Trump campaign’s legal challenges to 2020 election results and the false idea that dead people were voting;
3. A successful business that afterwards sold Four Seasons Total Landscaping t-shirts, craft beer, ugly Christmas sweaters, and other merchandise.

“To clarify, President Trump’s press conference will NOT be held at Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia. It will be held at Four Seasons Total Landscaping— no relation with the hotel.” Four Seasons Hotel Philadelphia, Tweeted November 2020

Fox News (noun): 1. Fair and balanced;
2. Most watched, most trusted;
3. Conservative media organization that stopped being fair, balanced, or trusted long before Donald Trump took office, and afterwards had pundits that began openly sharing conspiracy theories and working as propagandists for Donald Trump and the far-right conservative movement;
4. Network with a history of problematic work culture, issues of sexual harassment, and questionable journalistic ethics;
5. The channel where you are most likely to see catheter and reverse home mortgage commercials.

“I watch some of the shows. I watched Liz McDonald — she is fantastic. I watched Fox Business. I watched Lou Dobbs last night, Sean Hannity last night, Tucker [Carlson] last night, Laura [Ingraham]. I watched ‘Fox and Friends’ in the morning.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Fredo (noun): 1. Chris Cuomo is a journalist on CNN, son of a former Democratic governor of New York, and brother to a former Democratic governor of New York;
2. Character in the Godfather, who betrays his brother and is often portrayed as cowardly and incompetent;
3. Insensitive Italian-American racial slur;
4. Hobbit who once threw a piece of jewelry into a volcano.
See also: Low Ratings CNN

“I thought Chris [Cuomo] was Fredo also. The truth hurts. Totally lost it! Low ratings @CNN.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted August 2019

Freedom Convoy (noun): 1. Convoy of truckers and far-right protestors who used their vehicles to block downtown Ottawa and slow down North American truck deliveries in protest of Canada’s COVID social restrictions and vaccine mandates;
2. Canadian far-right protest that paradoxically also flew the Confederate flags, despite that not making a lot of sense;
3. Protest movement that was unsuccessfully imitated by the “People’s Convoy,” a US-based trucker protest that fizzled out and did nothing but cause a small bit of additional traffic on the DC Beltway;
4. Proof that Canadians can be as crazy as people from the United States.

“Freedom of expression, assembly and association are cornerstones of democracy, but Nazi symbolism, racist imagery and desecration of war memorials are not.” -Justin Trudeau, 2022

Frenemy (noun): 1. Name given by Mike Pence to Russian President Vladimir Putin;
2. Bit of an understatement.
See also, Vladimir Putin

“Do you think Putin will be going to The Miss Universe Pageant in November in Moscow – if so, will he become my new best friend?” -Donald Trump, Tweeted June 2013

G20 (noun): 1. A summit of prominent countries, including the United States, to talk about major issues facing the global community;
2. A place where Donald Trump goes to talk about his election victories, praises autocrats, insults US allies, and celebrates “Bring your Daughter to International Summit Day;”

“The change in Washington puts the European Union in a difficult situation; with the new administration seeming to put into question the last 70 years of American foreign policy.” -EU Council President Donald Tusk, 2017

Gaetzgate (noun): 1. Refers to a scandal by MAGA Congressman Matt Gaetz of Florida, and his connection to sex trafficking and questions about his sexual relationship with an underage girl;
2. Gaetz even allegedly used campaign money to fund travel and other expenses for women;
3. Joel Greenberg, a Gaetz associate and former Seminole County tax collector was indicted on fourteen counts of sex trafficking, including sex trafficking of minors, and is almost certainly talking to investigators about Gaetz’s connection in exchange for a reduction to his own penalty;
4. Money was transferred to Greenberg from Gaetz through Venmo and then sent to women with description of the money being for “tuition,” and “school;”
5. A week prior to the scandal breaking, Gaetz said on social media that if there were ever to be a scandal about him he wanted it to be called “Gaetzgate;
6. Also, the name of an off-brand gate installation company that promises to prevent the entry of all suspicious people, unless they are congressmen illegally trafficking underage women across state lines.

“Deal. I want Gaetzgate.” -Matt Gaetz, Tweeted March 2021

Gaffe (verb/noun): 1. To make an unknowing verbal or written mistake
2. A mispronunciation or misspelling of a word;
3. Examples include: Mistaking “9/11”’ for “7/11,” referring to a place called “Thighland,” calling for an investigation into the “oranges” of the Mueller probe, and claiming that the 1917 Spanish Flu ended World War II in 1945;
See also: Unpresidented

“I met with the president of the Virgin Islands.” -Donald Trump, unaware that he is the president of the US Virgin Islands, 2017

Gang of Angry Democrats (noun): 1. Reference to the lawyers and law enforcement agents writing the Mueller Report which investigated the 2016 Trump Campaign and its collusion with Russian agents;
2. A way for Trump to dismiss Mueller and his investigators as partisan attackers;
3. Robert Mueller, who headed the investigation was a former FBI director and a registered Republican at the time;
4. What happens when Bernie Sanders, Chuck Schumer, and Elizabeth Warren put on leather jackets and start snapping angrily at Republicans across the aisle.
See also: Mueller Report

“The Phony Witch Hunt continues, but Mueller and his gang of Angry Dems are only looking at one side, not the other. Wait until it comes out how horribly & viciously they are treating people, ruining lives for them refusing to lie. Mueller is a conflicted prosecutor gone rogue. The Fake News Media builds Bob Mueller up as a Saint, when in actuality he is the exact opposite. He is doing TREMENDOUS damage to our Criminal Justice System, where he is only looking at one side and not the other. Heroes will come of this, and it won’t be Mueller and his terrible Gang of Angry Democrats.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted November 2018

Gazpacho Police (noun): 1. Reference by Marjorie Taylor Greene to the imaginary belief that Nancy Pelosi had the Capitol Police spying on members of Congress, their staff, and the people of the United States;
2. Misspoken reference to the Gestapo, the secret police of Hitler and the Nazi party;
3. Group of armed men that go around policing cold soups.
See also: MTG

“Not only do we have the DC jail which is the DC gulag, but now we have Nancy Pelosi’s gazpacho police spying on members of Congress, spying on the legislative work that we do, spying on our staff and spying on American citizens.” -Marjorie Taylor Greene, 2022

Genius (noun): 1. Someone who is smart, savvy, or clever in their actions and worthy of praise;
2. Vladimir Putin, according to Donald Trump, specifically in the way he ordered the invasion of Ukraine, started the largest European land war since World War II, and then justified his actions;
3. Also, what Trump said when he learned about McDonald’s Cheesy Bacon Fries.

“I went in yesterday and there was a television screen, and I said, ‘This is genius.’ Putin declares a big portion of the Ukraine — of Ukraine — Putin declares it as independent. Oh, that’s wonderful. He used the word ‘independent’ and ‘we’re gonna go out and we’re gonna go in and we’re gonna help keep peace.’ You gotta say that’s pretty savvy.” -Donald Trump, 2022

Get ‘Em Out of Here (phrase): 1. Phrase uttered by Donald Trump at one of his rallies in response to a protestor;
2. Mentality of Trump supporters at MAGA rallies when it comes to dealing with any person of dissenting opinion, member of the media, or sometimes people of different racial backgrounds;
3. The least funny “Blue Collar Comedy” special to date.

“If you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them. I’ll pay the legal fees.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Giuliani, Rudolph (noun): 1. Former mayor of New York City;
2. Man who once married his second cousin;
3. Person who, on occasion, leaks black ink from his head and has been known to flatulate in congressional hearings;
4. He knows Prince Andrew, but never had a drink with him, never was with a woman or young girl with him;
5. Donald Trump’s lawyer, whom Trump refused to pay;
6. A once regular guest on Fox News, where he often admitted to criminal activity on live television;
7. Star of the second film in the Borat movie series;
8. Someone who enjoys vacationing in Ukraine.
See also: Ukraine

“I’m a knight of the empire so I should be there.” -Rudy Giuliani, 2018

Global Warming (catastrophe): 1. The increase of annual global temperatures as a result of rapid climate change, which according to a consensus of the majority of climate scientists is caused by manmade carbon emissions;
2. Hoax invented by the Chinese;
3. Hoax invented by the Democratic Party;
4. Phenomenon that can’t be true because it is cold in New York City.

“Massive record setting snowstorm and freezing temperatures in U.S. Smart that GLOBAL WARMING hoaxsters changed name to CLIMATE CHANGE! $$$$” -Donald Trump, Tweeted February 2014

Globalist (noun): 1. Person or idea that rejects national boundaries and instead thinks in terms of the world, particularly in terms of economic or foreign policy;
2. The people that Donald Trump most opposes;
3. Companies, such as the Trump Organization, that own property in different countries and conduct business across national borders.

“The free world must embrace its national foundations… The future does not belong to globalists. The future belongs to patriots.” – Donald Trump, 2019

God Emperor (noun): 1. Alt-right nickname for Donald Trump, spread by Milo Yiannopoulous;
2. Popular meme that depicts Trump as the God Emperor from Warhammer 40K;
Not to be confused with “Dog Emperor,” he who truly rules mankind.

“[Trump would go] into his free-form rants in front of a captive audience [on The Apprentice set], he would talk about articles written about him and defend himself against charges made, as far as I could tell, by random bloggers with a few hundred hits. Attacks that could have no impact on his life at all. It sounded like this cat was Googling himself, being bugged by what was written, and then defending himself to people who were trying to improve their careers by playing a TV game with him.” -Penn Jillette, 2012

Golden Escalator (noun): 1. Automatic moving stairway that is chromed in gold;
2. The conveyance by which Donald Trump descended down to announce his presidential campaign;
3. Something that will cost you three hundred extra rubles from a Russian prostitute.
See also: 2016

“Donald Trump is the host of his own show. … He is the art director. He is the stage manager… That escalator is part of the set. It gives him the entry point in. People have to look up at him.” -Hank Skeinkopf, 2019

Good Genes (noun): 1. According to Dr. Ronny Jackson, Donald Trump has good genes, weighs 239 pounds, and is very healthy despite consuming daily amounts of carbonated beverages and fast food;
2. According to Trump, the people of Minnesota, a state that is 80% white, have good genes;
3. A failed 1982 collaborative project between Gene Simmons and Gene Richards.

“You have good genes, you know that, right? You have good genes. A lot of it is about the genes, isn’t it, don’t you believe? The racehorse theory. You think we’re so different? You have good genes in Minnesota.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Good Taste (noun): 1. Quality Donald Trump lacks in his manners;
2. Quality Donald Trump lacks in his morals;
3. Quality Donald Trump lacks in his dress and style;
4. Quality Donald Trump lacks in his taste for food;
5. Quality Donald Trump lacks in the choice of his friends.

“[Kanye West] has good taste… He’s smart. He says, ‘You know what, Trump is doing a much better job than the Democrats did.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Grab Them by the P**** (expletive): 1. One of the most famous phrases spoken by Donald Trump to Access Hollywood reporter Billy Bush, while on a bus and captured by an open microphone;
2. Major public relations gaffe that in a reasonable time would have cost anyone their Access Hollywood job, and it very much did;
3. Major public relations gaffe that in a reasonable time would have cost anyone the presidential election, and it very much did not;
4. The last time anyone ever heard from Billy Bush;
5. Very telling quote of the character of the man who’s been accused of over a dozen sexual assaults;
6. Trump’s philosophy on dating women;
7. Trump’s philosophy on petting kitty cats.

“I moved on her like a b*tch. But I couldn’t get there. And she was married…. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful. I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the p*ssy. You can do anything.” -Donald Trump, 2005

Greatest Ever (adjective): 1. How Donald Trump often describes his own accomplishments, especially when it comes to the economy;
2. Hyperbolic statement that is often made without any evidence or justification to back up the claims;
3. Claims that often harken to PT Barnum, which is fitting since Trump really is only great at one thing: being a ringmaster in his own three ring circus.

“In many ways this is the greatest economy in the HISTORY of America” -Donald Trump, Tweeted June 2018

Greenland (noun): 1. World’s largest island, located between the Arctic and Atlantic oceans and owned by Denmark;
2. An island that Trump believed he could purchase.

“Strategically, it’s interesting, and we’d be interested, but we’ll talk to them a little bit. It’s not number one on the burner… And strategically for the United States, it would be nice. And we’re a big ally of Denmark, and we help Denmark, and we protect Denmark.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Gym Jordan (noun): 1. Clever nickname for Jim Jordan, a congressman from Ohio and a strong support of Donald Trump;
2. Former assistant wrestling coach at Ohio State, who ignored sexual misconduct by the team’s physician, Richard Strauss, who sexually abused at least six of the team’s members, as it has been credibly reported that Jordon was aware of the abuse and refused to cooperate with investigations into Strauss;
3. Congressman who tried to ban same-sex marriages, has voted against environmental issues, opposes vaccine requirements, and actively worked to discredit the Mueller Investigation and the FBI;
4. Man who filed a lawsuit to contest the 2020 presidential election, tried to de-certify the election in Congress, had possible connections to the January 6th Insurrection and Trump’s coup attempt;
5. Man who, for reasons unknown, was awarded the Medal of Freedom by Donald Trump nine days after he left office, and five days after the January 6th Insurrection;
6. Traitor to the country and traitor to the abuse victims of Ohio State wrestling;
7. The worst sort of gym a person can join after a drunken New Year’s resolution.

“On January 6, 2021, Vice President Mike Pence, as President of the Senate, should call out all electoral votes that he believes are unconstitutional as no electoral votes at all.” -Jim Jordan, Text Message to Mark Meadows, 2021

HWNDU (abbreviation): 1. Acronym for “He Will Not Divide Us;”
2. Title of actor Shia LaBeouf’s ongoing live-streamed, anti-Trump performance piece that was later crashed by alt-right activists when it relocated to Albuquerque, New Mexico in 2017;
3. Art installation that was eventually moved overseas due to continued issues with the public;
4. Acronym for “Humans With Natural Dimples United.”
See also, The Elites

“Events have shown that America is simply not safe enough for this artwork to exist.” -Statement from the co-creators of He Will Not Divide Us, 2017

Hair and the Tortoise, The (noun): 1. Nicknames given to Donald Trump and Mitch McConnel respectively;
2. Reference to the man who is destroying and the man who should know better but is allowing it to happen because it grants him political expediency;
3. Parable by Aesop that teaches the dangers of allowing competition and greed to overcome good sense and duty, and also the dangers of too much hair product.

“This was an intensifying crescendo of conspiracy theories orchestrated by an outgoing president who seemed determined to either overturn the voters’ decision or else torch our institutions on the way out. Former President Trump’s actions that preceded the riot were a disgraceful, disgraceful dereliction of duty.” -Mitch McConnell, statement made before immediately voting to not convict the impeached Trump over the January 6th insurrection, 2021

Hair and the Tortoise, The (noun): 1. Nicknames give to Donald Trump and Mitch McConnel respectively;
2. Reference to the man who is destroying and the man who should know better but is allowing it to happen because it grants him political expediency;
3. Parable by Aesop that teaches the dangers of allowing competition and greed to overcome good sense and duty, and also the dangers of too much hair product.

“This was an intensifying crescendo of conspiracy theories orchestrated by an outgoing president who seemed determined to either overturn the voters’ decision or else torch our institutions on the way out. Former President Trump’s actions that preceded the riot were a disgraceful, disgraceful dereliction of duty.” -Mitch McConnell, statement made before immediately voting to not convict the impeached Trump over the January 6th insurrection, 2021

Hamberders (noun): 1. Meat patties that are often grilled and placed between bread buns;
2. Fast food dinner that Donald Trump served to a college football team at the White House, because they weren’t into salads;
3. Object that Trump once appeared in a commercial for, next to a giant purple Grimace;
4. Food which Trump believes is least likely to be poisoned;
5. Food which is most likely to be poisoned by minimum wage worker spit.

“Great being with the National Champion Clemson Tigers last night at the White House. Because of the Shutdown I served them massive amounts of Fast Food (I paid), over 1000 hamberders etc. Within one hour, it was all gone. Great guys and big eaters!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted January 2019

Hang Mike Pence (verb): 1. Chant made by the crowds on the January 6th as they stormed the Capitol building;
2. Reference to the perceived betrayal of Mike Pence for certifying the electoral win of Joe Biden over Donald Trump, and has led to increasing hostility toward Pence from Republican far-right groups;
3. The reason why Mike Pence is no longer invited to be a guest speaker at his church’s annual Pray-Away the Gay Summer camp event.

“You can be a patriot or you can be a p*ssy.” -Donald Trump to Mike Pence, 2021

Hannity, Sean (noun): 1. Pundit for Fox News and conservative television and radio personality;
2. Donald Trump’s biggest fan;
3. Organizer of country music-themed “Freedom Concerts” that claimed which claimed they were raising money for the Freedom Alliance charity, but only a small portion of profits were allegedly ever donated;
4. Mouthpiece for conspiracy theories and the person most likely to make your older relatives even harder to talk to during Thanksgiving dinner.
See also: Fox News

“By the way, all those people in the back are fake news.” -Sean Hannity, appearing on stage at a campaign rally and referring to fellow media correspondents in the crowd, 2018

Have a Good Life (statement): 1. Second to last sentence in Donald Trump’s farewell speech on the last full day of his presidency;
2. Directive that was much easier to accomplish after Trump stepped on Marine One and was replaced by Joe Biden as the president;
3. Sentence which was unfortunately followed by, “We will see you soon,” which admittedly makes the whole phrase sound much more like a threat than a blessing.

“Now, as I prepare to hand power over to a new administration at noon on Wednesday, I want you to know that the movement we started is only just beginning… We will be back in some form. Have a good life. We will see you soon.” -Donald Trump, Farewell Speech, 2021

He Who Shall Not be Named (noun): 1. Dark lord who is a cult-like figure with followers that worship death, and once came very close to overthrowing society;
2. Entity that thrives on the power of the mere mention of his name, Donald Trump;
3. Vow by certain TV personalities, most notably Stephen Colbert, to never say Trump’s name again on air, usually opting for crowd-sourced and insulting nicknames;
4. Examples include: “Tangerine Palpatine,” “Mar-a-Lardo,” “Quarter Flounder,” “Marginally Sentient Spray-Tan,” “Walker: Taxes-Evader” “Scooby Coup,” “Dolt 45,” “Traffic Cone of Treason,” “The Lardfather,” “Vanity Manatee,” “Dingus Con,” “Clownigula,” “Hair Farce Once,” “Butternut Berlusconi,” “The Big Lie-bowski,” “Oaf of Office,” and “Voldemoron.”

“After the whole January 6 thing — no, even before that. It was after November 6 when he did that whole ‘I won’ thing, I planned not to say the guy’s name again. I think I’ve paid my dues in that regard, but now that the buzzkills over at the AP have mentioned it, it’s no fun anymore. Besides, it’s really hard coming up with synonyms for this douche nozzle’s name.” -Stephen Colbert, 2021

Held in Contempt (verb): 1. Legal notion for official witnesses, defendants, or others called before an official court which fails to comply with the legal rules, wishes, or orders of the judge, court, or committee;
2. State in which the Congressional January 6th Committee held Steve Bannon, Peter Navarro, and Dan Scavino for refusing to cooperate with official subpoenas from the investigatory committee;
3. State in which the New York’s Attorney General held Donald Trump for failing to produce documents produced in a civil probe of his business practices;
4. State in which over 81 million Americans held Donald Trump for failing to be a competent elected official and/or a good person in general.
See also: January 6th Committee

“Mr. Trump … I know you take your business seriously, and I take mine seriously. I hereby hold you in civil contempt” -Justice Arthur Engoron, 2022

Hero, The (noun): 1. Nickname given to Steve Bannon by Peter Navarro for his role in the January 6th Insurrection;
2. Word that would only apply to Steve Bannon in Bizarro World where “good-bye” means “hello,” “bad job” means “great work,” and “Donald Trump” means “selfless patriot;”
3. Song by Chad Kroeger that debuted on the Spider-Man Soundtrack in 2002.

“January 6th, this whole notion that little Jamie Raskin’s got that, somehow, President Trump wanted to do an insurrection. [Steve Bannon,] you were the hero of January 6th. You were the guy who had the ‘Green Bay Packers Sweep’ strategy to go up to Capitol Hill.” -Peter Navarro, 2021

Heroilynn (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for heroin;
2. Something Don Jr. never mispronounces;
3. One of the reasons why the wall needs to be transparent.

“As horrible as it sounds, when they throw the large sacks of drugs over, and if you have people on the other side of the wall, you don’t see them, they hit you on the head with 60 pounds of the stuff? It’s over. As crazy as that sounds, you need transparency through that wall.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Heroin Country (noun): 1. Description, given by Donald Trump to describe the state of New Hampshire
2. Areas of the United States where most of Trump’s die-hard supporters can be found;
3. Only country that would elect Donald Trump Jr. as its president.

“I’d say, ‘[New Hampshire] doesn’t look like it’s a heroin problem-type place.’ They’d say, ‘Mr. Trump, it is flowing across our southern border. It’s cheaper than candy.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Herridje (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for heritage;
2. What Donald Trump calls the Indian man who gets him his coffee.

“And we are reclaiming our noble herridje…” -Donald Trump, 2019

Hillbilly Elegy (noun): 1. 2016 book by JD Vance, which claims to be a memoir of his life growing up in Appalachian Kentucky;
2. 2020 movie based on the book by JD Vance, which has been panned for its two-dimensional depiction of Appalachia;
3. Book, according to Trump that was written by a person named JD Mandel;
4. What it’s called when a political commentator and Republican politician initially criticizes Donald Trump, only to be buried under negative criticism and then resurrected as a devout MAGA support because much like the book you have written, your own truths and ideals are of a dubious truth;
5. Also known as Vancing.

“As someone who was the seventh generation of her family reared in the coalfields of eastern Kentucky, I found the book appalling. As a memoir, the stories about the author’s dysfunctional upbringing in Ohio are entertaining, yet it is disturbing how political commentary and Applachian stereotypes are peppered randomly throughout the book. It almost feels as if the publishers asked the author to add a more exploitative narrative that always sells so well, and he just shoved it in here and there. The author was the second generation in his family born in Ohio. He never lived in Kentucky, and he gets almost everything wrong. This is just another work from an outsider looking to exploit the area for a quick buck. This book did nothing to enhance or better the area or its people.” -Amazon Review for Hillbilly Elegy

Hispanics, The (noun): 1. How Donald Trump refers to people of Latinx descent;
2. A diverse ethnic group which consists of people with origins from South, Central, and North America, often with deep religious roots;
3. The fastest growing minority group in the United States, and the ones most likely to be targeted for racist assumptions of illegal or undocumented status, which at times have led to physical assaults and calls for them to “Get out of my country;”
4. Collectively known to Trump as drug runners, criminals, rapists, border jumpers, and members of the MS-13 gang.

“I would be a shame… I will say that people who are following me are very passionate. They love this country and they want this country to be great again. They are passionate.” -Donald Trump, after being told that two of his supporters attacked a Hispanic man in Boston and claimed, “Donald Trump was right, all illegals need to be deported,” 2018

Hit Harder (verb): 1. Ad hoc insult when one cannot defend their position or beliefs. A tactic frequently used by those on the right;
2. Donald Trump’s personal philosophy on dealing with critics and opponents, where he offers very personal insults to any adversary about their family, religion, ethnicity, gender, etc.
3. Weapon in Trump’s arsenal used when losing an argument;
4. Proof that Trump senses defeat and is becoming extremely desperate.

“As you may know by now, when you attack him he will punch back 10 times harder. No matter who you are, a man or a woman, he treats everyone equal.” -Melania Trump, 2016

Hoax (noun): 1. Something that is intentionally false or misleading, done in order to gain a benefit over another person;
2. Word that Donald Trump screams at things which he believes do not benefit him;
3. Examples include: climate change, COVID-19, the Mueller Report, impeachment, etc.
See also: Total Sham

“I hope Republicans & the American people realize that the totally partisan Impeachment Hoax is exactly that, a Hoax. Read the Transcripts, listen to what the President & Foreign Minister of Ukraine said (“No Pressure”). Nothing will ever satisfy the Do Nothing, Radical Left Dems!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted February 2020.

How Low Can He Go? (inquiry): 1. Statement made about Donald Trump by Ana Navarro, CNN political contributor, Republican, and co-host of The View;
2. Rhetorical question made after Trump retweeted a social media posting of him assaulting a person with the CNN logo superimposed over their face, implying physical violence against the media and CNN specifically;
3. Example of Trump’s call to hatred against mainstream media and any outlets that reported truthfully on him and his words.
See also: Low Ratings CNN

“How low can he go? Every time I ask myself that, he goes lower. ‘Stop enabling this,” I will say to every Republican to everyone around this president.” -Ana Navarro, 2017

Huge (adjective): 1. Something that is immense or large in size or scale;
2. Hyperbolic description of accomplishments that have no chance of fruition.
See also: Yuuge

“I look very much forward to showing my financials, because they are huge.” -Donald Trump, 2011

Human Molotov Cocktail (noun): 1. Description of Donald Trump by filmmaker Michael Moore;
2. Refers to Trump as a weapon of anarchy tossed by the American people into a system they feel frustrated by and cut off from;
3. Worst and most painful Halloween costume… ever.

“People are upset. They’re angry at the system and they see Trump, not so much that they agree with him, but they see him as the human Molotov cocktail that they get to toss into the system with Brexit and blow it up, send a message.” -Michael Moore, 2016

Humanitaries (plural noun): 1. Trumpspeak for humanities;
2. Something Donald Trump lacks.

“…the National Humanitaries Medal…” -Donald Trump, 2019

Hurricane (noun): 1. Serious weather storm that can result in high winds, raised sea levels, and large amounts of rain that may cause millions of dollars in damages and innocent lives;
2. Weather phenomenon that has been increased in deadliness due to climate change;
3. Natural disaster which will most often affect the south and eastern part of the United States;
4. Tremendously big and tremendously wet;
5. Something you can nuke;
6. Weather pattern which can be changed by writing on a piece of cardboard with a sharpie pen.

“I got it. I got it. Why don’t we nuke [hurricanes]? They start forming off the coast of Africa, as they’re moving across the Atlantic, we drop a bomb inside the eye of the hurricane and it disrupts it. Why can’t we do that?” -Donald Trump, 2019

Hurricane Relief (noun): 1. Something that the United States spends billions of dollars on each year;
2. An undertaking that is becoming hard and hard to accomplish with crumbling infrastructure and growing concerns of climate change;
3. Something that is especially hard to accomplish when it is needed on an island, “surrounded by big water;”
4. A problem that you can solve by throwing paper towels at.
See also: Hurricane

“Bad things can happen when you’re talking about a storm this size. It’s called Mother Nature. You never know, but we know. We love you all.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Hyperreality (noun): 1. According to philosopher Jean Baudrillard, it is an inability of consciousness to distinguish reality from a simulation of reality, especially in regards to technologically advanced societies;
2. Idea that in the world of Donald Trump there is no objective truth other than simulated truth, such as truth created by the media and on social media platforms, as if those realms exist independent of actual reality;
3. Philosophical concept that politics have become the ultimate reality show or wrestling match, with weekly drama, heels, faces, turns, villains, and heroes, and with the unspoken feeling that none of it actually touches day-to-day reality;
4. Bubble of simulated non-reality created by our modern world, but brought to extremes by Trump during his election and time in office;
5. Worst video game put out by Activision, and that is saying something.

“Interestingly, a lot of Trump’s political act seems lifted from bully-wrestlers. A clear influence is ‘Ravishing’ Rick Rude, an Eighties champ whose shtick was to insult the audience. He would tell ticket holders they were ‘fat, ugly sweat hogs,’ before taking off his robe to show them ‘what a real sexy man looks like.” -Matt Taibbi, 2019

I Don’t Do Cover-Ups (lie): 1. Phrase uttered in response to an infrastructure meeting with Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi;
2. Excuse made for walking out of a meeting on infrastructure because Donald Trump did not get what he wanted and he thought people were being mean to him;
3. What Trump tells himself every day in the mirror as he puts on his orange makeup.

“I think most of you would agree with this, I am the most transparent president in the history of this country, and instead of walking happily into a meeting, I walk into to look at people who just said, ‘I was doing a cover-up.’ I don’t do cover-ups.” -Donald Trump, 2019

I Don’t Remember (lie): 1. Common statement uttered by Republican officials, political agents, and Donald Trump supporters when placed under oath and disposed in front of a legal body, such as in a courthouse or in the halls of congress;
2. Known perpetrators have been Marjorie Taylor Greene, Michael Cohen, and Donald Trump.
Similar to: I Don’t Recall, I Can’t Remember, I Can’t Confirm That, I Plead the Fifth, and Eric Did It

“Those are reportedly my text messages. I think if people read them for themselves -—if those are my text messages— they clearly say that I wasn’t calling for that. I actually said that’s something I don’t know about.” -Marjorie Taylor Greene, Deposition Over January 6, 2022

I Have the Best Words (phrase): 1. The one Donald Trump statement that just happens to be true.
2. The basis for the Trump Dictionary.

“I know words. I have the best words.” -Donald Trump, 2016

I Never Said That (lie): 1. Standard denial made by Donald Trump, usually made within twenty-four hours after absolutely saying the very thing he is trying to deny;
2. Trump never said that wind farms were a “disaster for Scotland;”
3. Trump never said John McCain was “not a war hero;”
4. Trump never said that some women were “fat pigs,” “dogs,” “slobs,” “disgusting animals,” etc.;
5. Trump never said a “very bad word” when talking about Ted Cruz;
6. Trump never said he knew anything about former Ku Klux Klan leader, David Duke;
7. Trump never said he would pay the legal fees for supporters who roughed up protestors;
8. Trump never said he would consider using nuclear weapons against ISIS;
9. Trump never said that Ted Cruz’s father helped kill John F. Kennedy;
10. Trump never said anything mocking about a disabled reporter;
11. Trump never said he has “one of the world’s best memories in the world.”

“I didn’t say that, Bill. All I did was make the statement, ‘I wouldn’t mind doing it.’” -Donald Trump to Bill O’Reilly on the subject of punching protestors, 2016

I Only Repeat (phrase): 1. Phrase uttered in a surprise sit down with reporters where Donald Trump spoke about whatever was on his mind;
2. Reason given why Trump repeats himself.

“I only repeat, I only repeat for the purposes of making sure you understand.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Ice Offices (plural noun): 1. Trumpspeak for “ICE officers;”
2. The offices where they keep the US Reserve of Frozen Liquids.
See also: Immigration and Customs Enforcement

“We need to take away children. If you care about kids, don’t bring them in. Won’t give amnesty to people with kids.” -Jeff Sessions, Attorney General, 2018

Idiotics (plural noun): 1. Word coined by people working around Donald Trump;
2. Word made in reference to Trump’s policies, behavior, motives, and insights;
3. The name of the drug that people take which makes them want to work with Donald Trump.

“[Secretary of Defense James] Mattis was particularly exasperated and alarmed, telling close associates that the president acted like — and had the understanding of — ‘a fifth- or sixth-grader.’” -Bob Woodward, Fear, 2018

Illegal Votes (noun): 1. Votes that have been cast illegally;
2. Anyone who didn’t vote for Donald Trump;
3. The only way Hillary Clinton won the popular vote in 2016
4. The only way Joe Biden won the election in 2020.
See also: Voting

“In addition to winning the Electoral College in a landslide, I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted January 2017

Immigration and Customs Enforcement (noun): 1. Commonly abbreviated as ICE, it is the agency tasked with arresting undocumented immigrants, a job which expanded under Donald Trump to include more arrests, removals, and targeting of undocumented immigrants who posed no national security threat;
2. Agency that has been known to go to extreme to arrest people, even US citizens, who “appear deportable,” which are typically people of color;
3. Operator of detention facilities across the country known for non-hygienic and dangerous conditions;
4. Cosplaying stormtroopers to Trump’s knockoff-Vader.

“We have people coming into the country or trying to come in, we’re stopping a lot of them, but we’re taking people out of the country. You wouldn’t believe how bad these people are. These aren’t people. These are animals.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Impeachment #1 (noun): 1. Donald Trump was impeached on December 18, 2019, for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress, but was not formally convicted by the Republican-led Senate;
2. The Impeachment was over the accusations that Trump coerced the president of Ukraine to announce an investigation against Joe Biden, a possible political rival;
3. Mitt Romney was the only Republican to vote to convict Trump on the charge of obstruction of Congress;
4. An act that made Trump the third president ever to be impeached.
See also: Quid Pro Quo

“Donald J. Trump sacrificed our national security in an effort to cheat in the next election and for that and his continued efforts to seek foreign interference in our elections he must be impeached.” -Rep. Adam Schiff, 2019

Impeachment #2 (noun): 1. Donald Trump was impeached on January 13, 2021, for incitement of an insurrection, but was not formally convicted by the Republican-led Senate;
2. This impeachment was over the accusation that Trump willingly and knowingly incited a violent riot that attacked the US Capitol;
3. An act which made Trump the only president to ever be impeached twice;
4. The worst sequel in America since Deuce Bigalo European Gigolo.
See also: January 6th

“Just because actions meet a standard of impeachment does not mean it is in the best interest of the country to remove a President from office… I will not vote to remove the President because doing so would inflict extraordinary and potentially irreparable damage to our already divided nation.” -Sen. Marco Rubio, 2021

Inauguration (noun): 1. The act of inaugurating a newly elected president of the United States;
2. An event worth obsessing about in front of the CIA’s wall of fallen heroes;
3. According to Sean Spicer, an event for which Donald Trump had the largest audience to witness, period.
4. An event that proved Sean Spicer to be a terrible liar.
See also: Sean Spicer

“I turn on one of the networks, and they show an empty field. I’m like, wait a minute. I made a speech. I looked out, the field was, it looked like a million, million and a half people.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Individual-1 (noun): 1. Someone who claims they are not guilty when accused of involvement with criminal activities, even when there is factual evidence showing they are guilty;
2. An unnamed person named in the charges brought up against Michael Cohen who directed Cohen to pay illegal campaign funds to Stormy Daniels so that she would not talk about her affair with Donald Trump;
3. Shadowy unknown person whom Michael Cohen, Trump’s well-known personal fixer, worked with for many years, and whose identity will probably remain an impenetrable secret that will never be solved.

“I pled guilty in federal court to felonies for the benefit of, at the direction of, and in coordination with ‘Individual 1. And for the record: ‘Individual 1’ is Donald J. Trump.” -Michael Cohen, 2019

Infantroopen (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for infantryman;
2. German word meaning “infant pooping.”

“…the combat infantroopen badge.” -Donald trump, 2019

Infrastructure Week (noun): 1. A week dedicated to non-partisan discussions of rebuilding American roads, bridges, and tunnels set to originally take place in June 2017;
2. A week that never manifested due to Donald Trump’s ability to never stay on topic and torpedo any serious political or governance-related discussions;
3. A week that during the Trump Administration was always right around the corner, but never seemed to manifest into any serious framework or policies;
4. A never-ending cycle of torment and hell that repeated itself over and over and over again, like some spiraling Lovecraftian story of madness and crumbling pavement.

“Who knew that ‘infrastructure week’ meant going completely off the rails, paving the roads to hell, and burning all your bridges.” -George Takei, Tweeted August 2017

Insurrection Barbie (noun): 1. Label applied to Jenna Ryan, a Trump supporter and woman who was arrested for taking part in the January 6th Insurrection;
2. Rioter who livestreamed herself entering into the Capitol building during the events of January 6, along with others, and openly admitted her part to reporters;
3. Person who claimed she was not going to jail because of the color of her hair and skin;
4. Criminal who was convicted and sentenced to two months in prison in 2021;
5. Doll that comes with racist flag accessories and Proud Boy Ken.

“Definitely not going to jail. Sorry I have blonde hair white skin a great job a great future and I’m not going to jail. Sorry to rain on your hater parade. I did nothing wrong.” -Jenna Ryan, Tweeted, 2021

Internate (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for internet;
2. Something we are losing a lot of people to;
3. Place where Trump’s new social media platform lasted for less than 24 hours.
See also: The Cyber

“We’re losing a lot of people because of the Internet. We have to go see Bill Gates and a lot of different people that really understand what’s happening. We have to talk to them about, maybe in certain areas, closing that Internet up in some way. Somebody will say, ‘Oh freedom of speech, freedom of speech.’ These are foolish people. We have a lot of foolish people.” -Donald Trump, 2015

Iran (noun): 1. A country in the Middle East ruled by hardline religious extremists;
2. Country with which the United States and its allies had an agreement to provide billions of dollars in sanctions relief in exchange for the dismantling of Iran’s nuclear missile program;
3. Country with which Donald Trump withdrew from that agreement and empowered hardliners to become even more anti-American;
4. Home of Iranian Major General Qadem Soleimani, whom Trump ordered assassinated via drone strike at the Baghdad International Airport, for which Iran retaliated;
5. Country which currently seeks Trump’s arrest;
6. Phrase which Trump will never honestly utter. (At most he may be able to claim that he jogged.)

“If you f*ck around with us, if you do something bad to us, we are going to do things to you that have never been done before.” -Donald Trump, cooling tensions with Iran, 2020.

It (noun): 1. Noun made in reference to Melania Trump, by Donald Trump during a call with Fox & Friends;
2. Trump’s pet name for Melania;
3. Clown that lives in the sewers and “really doesn’t care. Do you?”

“There was Jackie O, and that’s good. But we have our own Jackie O today. It’s called Melania. Melania. We’ll call it Melania T. Okay?” -Donald Trump, 2019

Ivermectin (noun): 1. Anti-parasitic medication made for both humans and as a veterinary drug for parasites, it has been claimed as a “miracle cure” that can stop COVID-19, a claim most notably made on the Joe Rogan podcast;
2. Drug embraced by many right-wing and MAGA supporters as an alternative to the coronavirus vaccine;
3. Unproven treatment for coronavirus, which is just one among many unproven COVID fad drugs that have circulated through the anti-vaccine/anti-mask/anti-lockdown crowds since the start of the pandemic;
4. Name of the magic McGuffin device that drives the plot of Kellyanne Conway’s YA dystopian novel series.
Similar to: Hydroxychloroquine, blech injections, charcoal cleansing, psychic surgery, megavitamin therapy, etc.

“It is important to note that, to-date, our analysis has identified: No scientific basis for a potential therapeutic effect [of Ivermectin] against COVID-19 from pre-clinical studies; No meaningful evidence for clinical activity or clinical efficacy in patients with COVID-19 disease, and; A concerning lack of safety data in the majority of studies.” -Merck & Co., Inc., Official Statement, 2021

Jackson, Andrew (noun): 1. The seventh president of the United States, Jackson was a plantation slaveholder, a white supremacist, a populist, a man who enjoyed killing people in gun dueling, and the president who implemented the policy of Indian Removal, which culminated in the Trail of Tears and an estimated five thousand Cherokee deaths;
2. The president that Donald Trump admired the most and wished to emulate;
3. The man who died sixteen years before the Civil War, but saw it coming and was very angry by it.
See also: Civil War

“I mean, had Andrew Jackson been a little bit later you wouldn’t have had the Civil War. He was a very tough person, but he had a big heart. He was really angry that he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War.” -Donald Trump, 2017

January 6th (tragedy): 1. The sixth day of January, specifically referring to the insurrection of January 6, 2021;
2. Historic event when a mob of angry Trump supporters, upset over his election loss, stormed the US Capitol Building while congress was in full session certifying the election results;
3. A day that resulted in loss of life, bodily injury, historic property destruction and vandalization, and terroristic threats made against elected officials, including threats to hang the Vice President. Explosives were also found planted near the DNC and RNC headquarters;
4. Event personally incited by Donald Trump and his allies;
5. The riot that Trump watched on television;
6. A bad day to be Mike Pence.
See also: Mike Pence

“And we fight. We fight like hell. And if you don’t fight like hell, you’re not going to have a country anymore… But we’re going to try and give our Republicans, the weak ones because the strong ones don’t need any of our help. We’re going to try and give them the kind of pride and boldness that they need to take back our country. So, let’s walk down Pennsylvania Avenue.” -Donald Trump, 2021

January 6th Committee (noun): 1. The Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol;
2. Congressional committee formed in the US House of Representatives to investigate the events that took place on January 6, 2021, when rioters stormed the US Capitol with the explicit reason of overturning the election of Joe Biden for Donald Trump;
3. Despite an offer of a bipartisan commission Kevin McCarthy refused to allow Republican members to serve on the committee, with the only two Republicans choosing to serve despite the minority leader’s insistence, Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger;
4. Committee that has uncovered thousands of text messages between Mark Meadows and other prominent Republicans urging Donald Trump to invalidate the election, as well key witnesses that reported that Trump refused to stop the riot and the violence being done on his behalf;
5. Committee that uncovered a PowerPoint presentation for describing a strategy to overturn the election, as well the memorandums of John Eastman and his plan on how Trump and his allies could steal a legitimate election;
6. Committee that will ultimately result in very little criminal activity or anyone being held responsible for their actions.

“Republicans used to advocate fidelity to the rule of law and the plain text of the Constitution. In 2020, Mr. Trump convinced many to abandon those principles. He falsely claimed that the election was stolen from him because of widespread fraud. While some degree of fraud occurs in every election, there was no evidence of fraud on a scale that could have changed this one.” -Liz Cheney, 2021

Jeff Bozo (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Amazon founder, Jeff Bezos;
2. Billionaire who is more successful than Trump in the world of business;
3. Someone who Trump likes to celebrate his misfortunes, coining the name “Jeff Bozo” during Bezos’ divorce proceedings;
4. Proud owner of a penis rocket;
5. Name of clown, given by a clown.
See also: Amazon Washington Post

“So sorry to hear the news about Jeff Bozo being taken down by a competitor whose reporting, I understand, is far more accurate than the reporting in his lobbyist newspaper, the Amazon Washington Post. Hopefully the paper will soon be placed in better & more responsible hands!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted January 2019

Jews, The (plural noun): 1. How Donald Trump refers to the people of Jewish faith;
2. Judaism is a religion that dates back nearly four thousand years, with a rich heritage of culture and tradition;
3. The majority religion of the country of Israel, which Donald Trump recognize Jerusalem as its capital and moved the US embassy there too, going against decades of US foreign policy and sparking criticism from Palestinians and further complicating the Middle East peace process;
4. The religion his daughter converted to, so Trump can’t be anti-Semitic.
5. People who, according to Trump, “don’t love Israel enough;”
6. People who, according to Trump, “stick together,” and are “only in it for themselves;”
7. People who, according to some Trump voters and tiki torch enthusiasts, “will not replace” them.

“President Trump is the greatest President for Jews and for Israel in the history of the world, not just America, he is the best President for Israel in the history of the world…and the Jewish people in Israel love him like he’s the King of Israel. They love him like he is the second coming of God…But American Jews don’t know him or like him. They don’t even know what they’re doing or saying anymore. It makes no sense! But that’s OK, if he keeps doing what he’s doing, he’s good for….” -Donald Trump, Tweeted August 2019

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs (repetitive plural noun): 1. Promise made by Donald Trump to create jobs in the United States for American citizens;
2. May also refer to the fact that Trump often employed seasonal foreign workers to fill positions at many of his properties, like Mar-a-lago;
3. May also refer to the documented cases of undocumented workers working at Trump properties;
4. May also refer to the multiple job vacancies Trump created in his own administration with his historic turnover of staffers, aides, and others;
5. Donald Trump left office with the worst jobs record since Herbert Hoover.

“So, we’re setting records in jobs, we’re setting records in numbers. And you’re going to see some very big numbers.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Juan Trump (noun): 1. Trump’s nickname for Andrés Manuel López Obrador, President of Mexico;
2. The one Trump who never gets invited to family dinners because Ivanka thinks he might steal the silverware.
See also: Mexico

“According to Feierstein, Trump is purported to have used the term “Juan Trump” more than once in the months leading up to López Obrador’s election on July 1, reportedly using the nickname to ask aides how the leftist candidate was faring in the race.” -Rebecca Tan, Washington Post, 2018

Judge Jeanine (noun): 1. Jeanine Pirro, former New York State judge and prosecutor, who became a conservative TV commentator on FOX News, best known for yelling right-wing conspiracy theories at full volume into the camera;
2. TV personality that enjoys day drinking;
3. Firm Donald Trump support, who was often suggested by people in the MAGA-verse as a possible nominee for the Supreme Court;
4. Person who has a tenuous hold on reality that often seems like she is making things up as she goes along;
5. Fox News anchor that is best played by Cecily Strong.

“Most Americans have no idea that less than two years after his inauguration, Donald Trump has accomplished more than most presidents accomplish in their entire presidencies.” -Jeanine Pirro, 2018

Junior (noun): 1. Donald Trump Jr. is the oldest child of Donald Trump, which is also his only marketable skill;
2. His turn-ons include: women who yell a lot, killing exotic animals, and doing large amounts of illicit drugs;
3. Word may also refer to all Trump wannabes, such as Ron DeSantis, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, and others who may enjoy illicit drugs.
See also: Donald Trump

“What if he’s a loser?” -Donald Trump when it was suggested to name his first born after himself, 1977

Justin from Canada (noun): 1. What Donald Trump called Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada;
2. Someone that Trump “tolerated;”
3. A “two-faced” person;
4. A person whose mother had sex with all the Rolling Stones;
5. The man of Ivanka Trump’s sultry and steamy dreams.

“Didn’t [Canada] burn down the White House?” -Donald Trump, 2018

KFC (noun): 1. Originally an abbreviation for Kentucky Fried Chicken, but is now the official name of the fast food chain;
2. One of Donald Trump’s favorite meals to eat on Air Force One, with a knife and a fork;
3. A fast food company that has mocked Trump’s tweets;
Note to be confused with: “Kentucky Fried Clown” or “Klan Fried Commander”

“The only person in the military Mr. Trump does not feel is overrated? That’s Colonel Sanders.” -Gen. James Mattis

Kavanaugh, Brett (noun): 1. Justice on the Supreme Court, nominated under Donald Trump in 2018;
2. One of the principal authors of the Starr Report on the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky Scandal;
3. Former member of George W. Bush’s legal team to contest the stop the ballot recount in Florida which ultimately allowed Bush to beat Al Gore in the 2000 election;
4. Former frat boy who allegedly assaulted Christine Blasey Ford and Deborah Ramirez during two separate incidents at a college party;
5. Man who allegedly once took his penis out at a party, but who also kept a very detailed calendar of his activities during his college years;
6. Very angry and emotional man who really “likes beer.”

“I drank beer with my friends. Almost everyone did. Sometimes I had too many beers. Sometimes others did. I liked beer. I still like beer, but I did not drink beer to the point of blacking out and I never sexually assaulted anyone.” -Justice Brett Kavanaugh, 2018

Kelly, John (noun): 1. A former four-star general, secretary of homeland security, and Donald Trump’s second chief of Staff;
2. Person who once heard Donald Trump say, “Well, Hitler did a lot of good things,” and decided to keep it to himself for more than two years;
3. The adult in the room, who ultimately failed to “adult” or even be in the room;
4. Man with a permanent palm impression on his forehead.

“The depths of [Trump’s] dishonesty is just astounding to me. The dishonesty, the transactional nature of every relationship, though it’s more pathetic than anything else. He is the most flawed person I have ever met in my life.” -John Kelly, 2020

Kemp, Brian (noun): 1. Governor of Georgia during the 2020 presidential election, that certified the Georgian election results for Joe Biden;
2. Republican who was widely criticized by Donald Trump for doing “absolutely nothing” to challenge the election results of his state;
3. Governor who said that appointing alternate electors would be unconstitutional, which only seemed to make Trump madder;
4. Man who Trump called to resign, and against whom the American conspiracy theorist, Lin Wood, called for his imprisonment, along with Georgia’s Secretary of State;
5. Republican, who nonetheless, said he would support Trump for a 2024 presidential bid;
6. Portmanteau of the words “Briar N’ Unkempt “.

“What a fool Governor @BrianKempGA of Georgia is. Could have been so easy, but now we have to do it the hard way. Demand this clown call a Special Session and open up siganture verification, NOW. Otherwise, could be a bad day for two GREAT Senators on January 5th.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted December 2020

Kung Flu (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s racially motivated description of the COVID-19 virus
2. Term which is a clear and direct telling of Trump’s hatred for minorities.
See also: Coronavirus

“[Trump] has made very clear he wants everybody to understand, and I think that we need Americans to understand, that the virus originated in China.” -Kellyanne Conway, 2020

Kurd, Mr. (noun): 1. Name Donald Trump used to address Rahim Rashidi, a Kurdish journalist for the foreign press;
2. Nickname that Rashidi put on his business card and in his Twitter profile;
3. Happy fumbling accident on Trump’s part where his insensitivity actually ended up having a good effect for a change.

“I loved it, because all the time our identity is ignored by the Turkish government, by the Iranian government. We are proud of our struggle for democracy, for justice, for freedom. [Trump] made me so happy when he called me Mr. Kurd. It was a moment of respect for us, for me.” -Rahim Rashidi, 2018

Kushner, Jared (noun): 1. Son of criminal real-estate developer Charles Kushner, and son-in-law of criminal real-estate developer Donald Trump;
2. Former White House advisor to Trump, who was expected to fix… everything from Middle East Peace Talks to COVID-19 Response;
3. Person who lied repeatedly on his security clearance forms;
4. Person who had multiple contacts with Russian officials during the 2016 election campaign;
5. Man who regularly cost US taxpayers thousands of dollars in secret service fees for trips around the world;
6. Donald Trump’s chief romantic rival.
See also: Ivanka Trump

“The federal government is not going to lead this response… It’s up to the states to figure out what they want to do… [Governor] Cuomo didn’t pound the phones hard enough to get PPE for his state… His people are going to suffer and that’s their problem.” -Jared Kushner, 2020

Labor Day (noun): 1. Federal American holiday, usually celebrated on the first Monday in September, in honor of labor.
2. Holiday for which Trump calls people and wishes them, “Happy Labors.”
3. Holiday which once gave Trump and excuse to go on TV and lie… not that he needed a special holiday to do that.

“I talk about it cause today’s Labor Day. It’s a good time to talk about when we’re being ripped off by countries, but nobody’s even close to China.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Lady G (noun): 1. Nickname for Senator Lindsey Graham from South Carolina;
2. Man who speaks like a soft spoken genteel southern belle;
3. An initial Critic of Donald Trump, Graham quickly become the most ardent of bootlickers in the Senate;
4. Hypocrite who was very quick to condemn Bill Clinton during his impeachment and yet ignore the very same moralistic factors of Donald Trump during his first impeachment;
5. After the events of January 6th, Graham initially tried to say that Trump had gone too far, before immediately backtracking his statement and once again lending full support to the man who had tried to perpetrate a coup;
6. A slang term among certain sexually promiscuous groups for an effeminate partner who hems and haws over high morals, but is more than willing to submit himself to a dominant corrupt partner that will take advantage of him, humiliate him, and treat him worse than a lapdog all while he begs for more.

“I think Lindsey Graham is a disgrace, and I think you [South Carolina] have one of the worst representatives of any representative in the United States, and I don’t think he should run. I don’t think he could run for dog catcher in this state and win again. I really don’t. Other than that, I think he’s wonderful.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Landing Spot (noun): 1. Place where an aircraft is able to land;
2. Place on Jessica Leeds wherever Donald Trump could find to touch;
3. Phrase used in an allegation of unwanted sexual advances by Trump against Leeds in the 1970’s;
4. The bald spot that Trump tries to cover on top of his head.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go after [Jessica Leeds]. Believe me, she would not be my first choice. That I can tell you. You don’t know. That would not be my first choice.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Lattis (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for data;
2. Interlaced structure often made of wood and put up for decorative purposes, as it has no real stability and will collapse the moment any weight or logic is applied to it.

“I’m intelligent. Some people would say I’m very, very, very intelligent.” -Donald Trump, 2000

Law and Order (noun): 1. Vague concept that politicians, mostly Republicans, have run on since the 1960’s, encompassing a belief that was very prevalent during Reagan’s “War on Crime,” and was often used as a way to criticize an existing administration’s “weak” stance on crime and social order;
2. A veiled way to talk about policing African American people post-Civil Rights; and appeal to suburban white voters without explicitly sounding racist, similar to the modern slogan of “Blue Live Matter,” often spoken in opposition to the Black Lives Matter movement;
3. A way for Donald Trump and Republicans to criticize protest movements against them, such as the Women’s March, BLM, Me Too, and others by claiming that they are unruly, so that they don’t actually have to confront the issues and concerns that protestors are voicing;
4. An implied promise by Trump and his supporters that he would support police and law enforcement officials, except when it came to Capitol Police during the January 6th insurrection… those officers deserved to be beaten with America flags;
5. To gas peaceful protestors in front of a church so that Trump can take an awkward photo opportunity with a Bible;
6. Dun dun!

“I am your president of law and order.” Donald Trump, 2020

Lawmarkers (plural noun): 1. Trumpspeak for lawmakers;
2. Belief that laws were written with markers.
Not to be confused with: Lawn Markers, which are what Trump calls the undocumented immigrants he hires to stand next to his golf balls on the course.

“House and Senate lawmarkers.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Lawsuits (plural noun): 1. Legal court battles, of which Donald Trump is constantly engaged in;
2. Lawsuits against Trump include ones for: defamation, fraud, tax litigation, bankruptcy, class action investment fraud, misuse of Inauguration funds, incitement of January 6 attacks/riots, violation of the Ku Klux Klan Act;
3. Trump also has civil and criminal investigations into: campaign finance, misuse of charity funds, tax fraud, Scottish Unexplained Wealth Order, election influence;
4. Lawsuits also include multiple sexual assault and sexual harassment claims filed against Trump;
5. The subject of Trump’s favorite threat to people;
6. May also refer to the dozens of failed lawsuits filed by the Trump Campaign to overturn the 2020 elections;
7. May also refer to the oversized suits and ties often worn by Donald Trump.

“The phony lawsuit against Trump U could have been easily settled by me but I want to go to court. 98% approval rating by students. Easy win.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted March 2016

Leaks (plural noun): 1. When a member of a privileged group speaks to the press about issues and information going on within the privileged group;
2. When a pipe has holes or other cracks, and liquids or gasses are allowed to seep out;
3. A constant problem that plagued the Donald Trump White House, both in the press room and the bathroom.

“The so-called leaks coming out of the White House are a massive over exaggeration put out by the Fake News Media in order to make us look as bad as possible. With that being said, leakers are traitors and cowards, and we will find out who they are!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted May 2018

Left-Wing Muckrakers (plural noun): 1. Reference made by Peter Navarro to media and democratic figures;
2. According to Navarro examples of such include: Barack Obama, Bob Woodward, and Lyndon Johnson;
3. Made in reference to disparaging comments made about Melania Trump during her time as first lady;
4. Not made in reference to disparaging comments made about Michelle Obama during her time as first lady, which included being called “not classy enough,” “feminist nightmare,” “needs to drop a few pounds,” “strikingly ungracious,” “doesn’t look like a first lady,” “obviously unpatriotic,” “an ape in heels,” and “a gorilla face.”

“I’m sick of all these left-wing muckrakers dumping all over [Trump and Melania.] The first lady should be off limits. She’s the most graceful, elegant, best-spoken First Lady we’ve had since Jackie O.” -Peter Navarro, 2021

Let Trump Be Trump (excuse): 1. Phrase meant to enable tyranny;
2. Excuse often uttered by Republican officials to try and remove any blame from themselves for supporting Donald Trump and his worst policies;
3. Forgettable book written by Corey Lewandowski and David Bossie, which amounts to little more than rewriting history and over-praising their supreme leader.
Synonyms include: “Let Hitler be Hitler,” and “Let Putin be Putin”

“There are a lot of people disappointed in [Republican leader, Mitch McConnell.] He could have mobilized the Senate. But the Republican Party changed underneath [Trump], and he wanted to remain in power.” -David Hawpe, 2020

Let’s Go Brandon (chant): 1. Misheard chant by NBC reporter, Kellie Stavast, who mistook a NASCAR crowd chanting “F*ck Joe Biden,” as a chant in support of driver Brandon Brown;
2. Chant that became popular among Trump supporters as a veiled way to say “F*ck Joe Biden” and has even been used publicly by Republican politicians, such as Congressman Bill Posey, Texas Governor Greg Abbott, Congressman Jeff Duncan, and Senator Ted Cruz;
3. Slogan which has been commercially exploited and put onto merchandise, including ammunition;
4. Slogan that has been disavowed by NASCAR, and the organization threatened lawsuits against any merchandise using any NASCAR trademarks that bore the slogan.
Not to be confused with “Let’s go, Donald,” which is the most often uttered phrase to Donald Trump when he starts rambling at the Mar-a-Lago omelet bar.

“Now people are understandably frustrated. Actually, they’re very angry, and they’re not going to sit back and take it much longer. Instead of this bogus Build Back Better plan and reconciliation plan, you know what they want? They want you to help put America back where you found it and leave it the hell alone. Let’s go Brandon.” -Rep. Bill Posey, 2021

Liddle (adjective): 1. Trumpspeak for little;
2. Typically used in conjunction with someone’s name.
See also: Liddle Marco

“To show you how dishonest the LameStream Media is, I used the word Liddle’, not Liddle, in discribing Corrupt Congressman Liddle’ Adam Schiff. Low ratings @CNN purposely took the hyphen out and said I spelled the word little wrong. A small but never ending situation with CNN!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted September 2019

Liddle Marco (noun): 1. Nickname given to Senator Marco Rubio of Florida by Donald Trump
2. A Republican senator and primary presidential candidate in 2016;
3. Staunch critic of Trump before the 2016 election;
4. Staunch defender of Trump after the 2016 election;
5. Man who needs to stay hydrated.

“I’ll admit he’s taller than me. He’s like 6’2″, which is why I don’t understand why his hands are the size of someone who is 5’2″. Have you seen his hands? They’re like this. And you know what they say about men with small hands? You can’t trust ’em!” -Sen. Marco Rubio, 2016

Lightweight Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s long-winded nickname for Kirsten Gillibrand, senator from New York and a 2020 presidential candidate;
2. Woman best known for her stance and support of the #MeToo movement;
3. She was the one that Trump was really afraid of;
4. An example of the first time Trump managed to attack a woman he disliked while also calling her “lightweight” as opposed to his usual weight-related insults.

“Lightweight Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, a total flunky for Chuck Schumer and someone who would come to my office “begging” for campaign contributions not so long ago (and would do anything for them), is now in the ring fighting against Trump. Very disloyal to Bill & Crooked-USED!” -Rep. Bill Posey, 2021

Lincoln, Abraham (noun): 1. Sixteenth president of the United States, and the man who oversaw the Union through the Civil War and ended slavery;
2. Someone who did good for the Black community, though possibly not as much as Donald Trump, and was questionable;
3. Person that Trump could beat in a presidential election;
4. Member of the Republican Party… You say that and a lot of people say, “I didn’t know that.”
5. President that was assassinated.
See also: Most People Don’t Know

“They always said, ‘Lincoln, nobody got treated worse than Lincoln. I believe I am treated worse.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Little Adam Schitt (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Adam Schiff, congressman from California;
2. Man, which Donald Trump does not like and for which he has many nicknames.
See also: Shifty Schiff

“Liddle, pencil neck, leakin’ monster of no control, sick puppy, sleazy, Shifty, and now…watermelonhead? Doesn’t Trump know the cardinal rule of childish nicknames—pick one and stick with it? Come on, Donald. You’re a terrible President but you’re supposed to be good at this.” -Adam Schiff, Tweeted October 2020

Little Jeff Zucker (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for CNN network president, Jeff Zucker;
2. Former NBC executive who used The Apprentice to boost the network’s falling ratings, and inadvertently made Trump a household name;
3. CNN president who ordered that CNN cover Trump’s early rallies and give him inappropriate airtime to help boost CNN’s ratings.
Latin name: Parva Ieffius Zuckus

“If we made any mistake last year it’s that we probably did put on too many of [Trump’s] campaign rallies in those early months and let them run… Because you never knew what he would say.” -Jeff Zucker, 2016

Little Mac Miller (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for the rapper known as Mac Miller, whose real name is Malcolm James McCormick, and who tragically died in 2018;
2. Rapper known for creating a song titled Donald Trump in 2011 which surpassed 20 million views on YouTube in August 2011;
3. Miller was initially congratulated by Trump on his success before he demanded royalties for using his name, and threatened the rapper with a lawsuit via Twitter;
4. Name that initially confused and angered Trump because he thought a McMiller was something he could order off the menu at McDonalds.

“Little @MacMiller, I’m going to teach you a big boy lesson about lawsuits and finances. You ungrateful dog! Little @MacMiller, I want the money not the plaque you gave me! Little MacMiller, you illegally used my name for your song “Donald Trump” which now has over 75 million hits.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted June 2013

Little Michael Bloomberg (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Michael Bloomberg, businessman, former mayor of New York City, and former 2020 presidential nominee;
2. Insult from Trump that very much alludes to Bloomberg’s physical stature, also born from a jealousy of his success and bitterness over the former mayor and Republicans endorsement of Hillary Clinton in 2016;
3. Man, who spent about a billion dollars in the 2020 election to help Democrats defeat Trump.

“President Trump pushed through the biggest tax cut for the wealthy in history, and nearly all the money goes to people like me, who don’t need it.” -Michael Bloomberg, 2020

Little Rocket Man (noun): 1. Insulting nickname given by Donald Trump to North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un;
2. Affectionate nickname used by Trump to address Kim Jong Un;
3. An unhinged dictator who rules his country through threats of violence, starvation, and media manipulation, and who only has his position because of who his father was;
4. Someone that Trump has a very good relationship with, and often speaks admiringly of;
5. The author of multiple love letters written to Trump;
6. Person with better hair than Trump;
7. Little known song by Elton John.

“I told Rex Tillerson, our wonderful Secretary of State, that he is wasting his time trying to negotiate with Little Rocket Man… Save your energy Rex, we’ll do what has to be done!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted October 2017

Lock Her Up (noun): 1. Chant, most often performed at rallies for Donald Trump and referring to his then-political rival, Hillary Clinton;
2. The first time an American presidential candidate actually threatened to have a political rival investigated and jailed after winning an election;
3. Chant led by Michael Flynn at the GOP National Convention, a few years before he himself was convicted and sent to prison for crimes.

“You’re damn right. You’re exactly right. There’s nothing wrong with that! And you know why we’re saying that? We’re saying that because if I, a guy who knows this business, if I did a tenth of what she did, I would be in jail today.” -Michael Flynn, 2016

Locked and Loaded (phrase): 1. Threatening phrase tweeted by Trump after a Saudi oil supply was attacked by a missile, it was implied that Trump was threatening war with Iran, despite credit being claimed by Yemeni rebels;
2. Trump is a vocal defender of Saudi Arabia and the royalty that control the country, selling them weapons, buying their oil, and being very grateful after they spend millions of dollars at his hotels;
3. What it says on the bumper sticker of one out of every three Trump supporters.

“Saudi Arabia oil supply was attacked. There is reason to believe that we know the culprit, are locked and loaded depending on verification, but are waiting to hear from the Kingdom as to who they believe was the cause of this attack, and under what terms we would proceed!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted September 2019

Locker Room Talk (excuse): 1. Conversations that typically take place in locker rooms;
2. Meaningless chatter between college-age kids and younger; the most common topic being girls, sex, parties, and sports;
3. An excuse for Donald Trump’s misogynistic sexual predatory behavior, alluded to by his lurid comments captured on an open microphone for Access Hollywood;
4. Justification by normally moral and upright people to vote for a man who openly admitted to sexual assault;
5. Offensive stereotype of what and how men talk when they are just around other men;
6. What happens when a magic spell is placed on a men’s locker room and given sentience and the ability to speak.

“I don’t think you understood what was – this was locker room talk. I’m not proud of it. I apologize to my family. I apologize to the American people. Certainly, I’m not proud of it. But this is locker room talk.” – Donald Trump, 2016

Lockheed, Maryillyn (noun): 1. Mistaken name applied by Marillyn Hewson, former CEO of Lockheed Martin;
2. Proof that Donald Trump really only sees people in terms of how important they are/ how much money they make;
3. Main character in the 1936 classic film, Angel’s Got Some Great Gams.
Similar to: Tim Apple

“I may ask Marillyn Lockheed, the leading women’s business executive in this country, according to many.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Lord of the Lies (noun): 1. Label given to Donald Trump by CC’s Jim Acosta;
2. Reference to how Trump and his allies are facing the consequences of his lies, which have manifested in multiple investigations, and are forcing media figures on the right to increasingly scramble to explain, obfuscate, and rationalize the actions and words of Trump;
3. A book about a bunch of stranded petulant children who are trapped on an island of their own making and slowly eating themselves in a desperate attempt to stave off the inevitable.

“Yeah, he hung up. That’s because all of the lies are catching up with the lord of the lies. Trump, his advisers, his allies in Congress, and on conservative media. They are all drowning in Trump’s swamp of lies. And that swamp is not draining. But there is a cure for what ails them and us and our democracy. It’s called the truth. And while you’re at it, get the courage booster. I hear that works, too.” -Jim Acosta, 2022

Loser (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s favorite insult;
2. Americans who died in war, according to Trump;
3. Someone who cannot win at anything, including marriage, failed business ventures, and bankrupting a casino.
Similar to: Sucker

“On at least two occasions since becoming president, according to three sources with direct knowledge of his views, Trump referred to former president George H.W. Bush as a ‘loser’ for being shot down by the Japanese as a Navy pilot in World War II.” -Attributed to Donald Trump, 2020

Loser Project, The (noun): 1. Nickname by Donald Trump for the Lincoln Project, a political action committee of former and present Republicans who create flashy media videos insulting Trump’s character and actions;
2. Founded in part by George Conway, husband of Kellyanne Conway, advisor to Trump;
3. A group of misguided and unpopular youths who band together to fight an evil clown.

“George Conway, often referred to as Mr. Kellyanne Conway by those who know him, is VERY jealous of his wife’s success & angry that I, with her help, didn’t give him the job he so desperately wanted. I barely know him but just take a look, a stone cold LOSER & husband from hell!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted March 2019

Love or Deep Like (phrase): 1. Phrase used by Donald Trump to explain the relationship between Robert Mueller and former FBI Director, James Comey, whom Trump fired;
2. Excuse used by Trump to dismiss the Mueller investigation as a sort of bromance revenge plot;
3. The newest disaster-thriller-romantic-comedy-musical from Paramount Pictures.

“[Mueller] loves Comey. You look at the relationship with those two. So, whether it’s love or deep like, but he was conflicted.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Low Energy Jeb (noun): 1. Nickname given to Jeb Bush, 2016 Republican presidential primary candidate, former governor of Florida, brother of President George W. Bush, and son of President George H.W. Bush;
2. Nickname from which Jeb Bush or his campaign never recovered;
3. Event which started Donald Trump’s rise through the Republican primary polls.
See Also; Primary Election

“Please Clap.” -Jeb Bush asking for the silent audience to clap for him, 2016

Low I.Q. Crazy Mika (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Mika Brzezinski;
2. Woman who is a journalist, talk show host, liberal political commentator, author, married to co-host Joe Scarborough, and a former personal friend of Trump;
3. Proof that nothing makes Trump madder than a smart woman;
See also: Psycho Joe

“.@jack At what point is @Twitter a part of this? TAKE DOWN TRUMP’s ACCOUNT— the world world be safer. Retweet if you agree.” -Mika Brzezinski, Tweeted May 2020

Low Ratings CNN (noun): 1. Major news cable television network, and an often target of Donald Trump’s attacks on the media;
2. Network that had the lowest ratings after Trump left office;
3. News network that believes an apple is not a banana;

“Great news that an activist investor is now involved with AT&T. As the owner of VERY LOW RATINGS @CNN, perhaps they will now put a stop to all of the Fake News emanating from its non-credible ‘anchors.’ Also, I hear that, because of its bad ratings, it is losing a fortune. But most importantly, @CNN is bad for the USA.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted September 2019

Low-Polling Liz Cheney (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Elizabeth Cheney, congresswoman from Wyoming, daughter of former vice-president, Dick Cheney, and former member of the GOP leadership team in the House;
2. Woman who became a critic of Trump after the January 6th insurrection, and one of the only few Republican members of Congress to vote for his second impeachment;
3. Congresswoman who was removed from her leadership position by the other members of the Republican party because of her vote to impeach Trump, and was kicked out of the Wyoming Republican Party for the same reason;
4. A move that all the strippers have been forced to learn when performing at Don Jr.’s birthday parties.

“Low-polling Liz Cheney (19%) is actually very bad news for the Democrats, people absolutely cannot stand her as she fights for the people that have decimated her and her father for many years. She is a smug fool, and the great State of Wyoming, together with the Republican Party, fully understands her act. To look at her is to despise her. Hopefully she will continue down this unsustainable path and she will soon be gone!” -Donald Trump, 2021

Lyin’ James Comey (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for former FBI Director James Comey;
2. Person who announced investigations into Hillary Clinton’s email and may have cost Clinton the 2016 election;
3. Man in charge of the initial investigation of ties between the Trump campaign and Russia;
4. Someone who Trump asked for their personal loyalty and who refused to give it to him;
5. Someone who was fired by Trump for not being loyal enough, and did so while Comey was on a business trip, so that he only found out by hearing it on the news. Trump then tried to get Comey barred from his airplane so he could not get a ride back home;
6. A very tall man who once tried to hide with the White House drapes.

“The comparison to the leadership of a Cosa Nostra family, a Mafia family, actually started to hit me right away. … Not in the sense that I think Donald Trump is out breaking legs or shaking down shopkeepers or sticking up a union, but in the sense that the leadership culture is very similar. It’s all focused on the boss. What is done in this family must serve the boss.” -James Comey, 2018

Lyin’ Ted (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz, lawyer, senator from Texas, and 2016 Republican presidential nominee;
2. Man, whose father was involved in the JFK assassination;
3. Canadian citizen;
4. Once liked a pornographic video on Twitter;
5. Senator who once abandoned Texas during a national disaster to go to Cancun;
6. Person who once grew a stupid goatee and mustache;
7. Evangelical Christian who opposes gay marriage, healthcare, abortion rights, and voted against pandemic relief;
8. Presidential candidate that once opposed Donald Trump, and then became his lapdog.

“This man is a pathological liar, he doesn’t know the difference between truth and lies … in a pattern that is straight out of a psychology textbook, he accuses everyone of lying… Whatever lie he’s telling, at that minute he believes it … the man is utterly amoral.” -Ted Cruz, before he lost his spine, 2016

MAGA (abbreviation): 1. Acronym for Make America Great Again;
2. An idea that plays on nostalgia for a better time that never truly existed;
3. A catch-all term used to encompass Trump supporters and all they believe;
4. A cult-like doctrine of former Republican and misinformed voters who paradoxically believe that America is no longer great unless it is being ruled by a wispy-haired huckster, who reminds them that brown people are scary.
See also: Retrumplicans

“I’m actually old enough to remember the good old days, and they weren’t all that good in many ways. That message where, ‘I’ll give you America great again’ is if you’re a white Southerner, you know exactly what it means, don’t you?” -Donald Trump, 2017

MAGA-Verse (noun): 1. Altered state of reality dominated by the culture war headlines of Fox News, the insane lies of pillow salesmen, the conspiracy theories of Facebook and 4-Chan, and the hero worship of a golden idol named Donald Trump;
2. Place where, if you find yourself talking with Jordan Klepper of the Daily Show, you might be in right now;
3. Pennsylvania;
4. The worst shared cinematic universe since Thomas the Tank Engine teamed up with Knightrider.
See also: Hyperreality

“Donald Trump is more than a president. He’s even more than a man. He’s a brand. A brand associated with power, opulence, and the cuts of meat you find next to foot massagers at the sharper image.” -Jordan Klepper, 2021

MTG (noun): 1. Initials for Marjorie Taylor Greene, because she was jealous that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez got to be AOC;
2. Republican Congresswoman from Georgia who is an adherent of far-right conspiracy theories, most notably QAnon and the Big Lie;
3. Known for having white supremacist and anti-Semitic views, she was suspended from Twitter for posting COVID-19 misinformation;
4. Has been known to spread pro-Putin messaging and Russian propaganda in the midst of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine;
5. Was stripped of her committee assignments in Congress after several instances of incendiary and racist remarks, such as comparing COVID-19 safety measures to the holocaust;
6. Person who once stalked and verbally berated Parkland Shooting survivor David Hogg, claiming that he was an actor and perpetrator of a false flag school shooting;
7. Worst version of Magic: The Gathering currently being sold in comic book stores, specifically the Jewish Space Laser, a 5/5 Artifact Construct that gives all creatures in play a -1/-1 anti-Semitic token.

“Have you guys been following 4chan, Q — any of that stuff?… There’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to take this global cabal of Satan-worshiping pedophiles out, and I think we have the president to do it.” -Marjorie Taylor Greene, 2017

Mad Alex (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Alex Salmond, the former First Minister of Scotland and leader of the Alba party;
2. Man, who has appeared in several Scottish TV shows including the Alex Salmond Show;
3. Person who Trump hates because he dared to build an offshore wind farm within sight of Trump’s Scottish golf course in Aberdeen, for which Trump sued the Scottish Parliament;
4. Man, who Trump published sixteen letters about on the subject of wind farms.

“With the reckless installation of these monsters [the wind turbines], you will single-handedly have done more damage to Scotland than virtually any event in Scottish history!” -Donald Trump, 2014

Magoo, Mr. (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Jeffrey Sessions, the first mainstream Republican elected official to endorse Trump, and his first Attorney General;
2. Sessions was a staunch opponent of both illegal and legal immigration to the United States, and was one of the main drivers behind the Family Separation policy at the southern border;
3. He also believed in harsh punishment for drug offenses, pushed for a constitutional amendment against gay marriage, rejected scientific data on climate change, and was a strong supporter of civil forfeiture;
4. Sessions was also known for baking cookies in a tree with his fellow elves.

“He’s not mentally qualified to be Attorney General. He was the biggest problem. I mean, look Jeff Sessions put people in place that were a disaster.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Major League Baseball (noun): 1. Organization that regulates and runs the professional league of America’s Pastime, baseball;
2. Organization that once threatened to move its All-Star Game out of Georgia after restrictive voting rights passed, prompting a conservative backlash;
3. Organization that often asks presidents and other prominent figures to throw out the first pitch at games, though Donald Trump invited himself to throw out a pitch at a Yankees game in 2020 and then canceled;
4. Game where most people start looking around at about the seventh inning and start wondering if they could beat traffic home.

“Baseball is already losing tremendous numbers of fans and now they leave Atlanta with their All-Star Game because they are afraid of the Radical Left Democrats who do not want voter I.D., which is desperately needed, to have anything to do with our elections. Boycott baseball and all of the woke companies that are interfering with Free and Fair Elections. Are you listening, Coke, Delta, and all!” -Donald Trump, 2020

Manafort, Paul (noun): 1. Lobbyist, political consultant, and criminal who has proven instrumental in getting authoritarian leaders elected to power;
2. Man who represented pro-Russian Viktor Yanukovych in Ukraine, and helped get him elected only so he could become a failed authoritarian ruler of his country;
3. Man who represented pro-Russian Donald Trump in the United States, and helped him get elected only so he could become a failed authoritarian ruler of his country;
4. Man who works a lot for pro-Russian candidates;
5. Fraudster who was arrested by the FBI in 2017, indicted by the Mueller Investigation, indicted for obstruction and witness tampering, charged with tax evasion and bank fraud, and was pardoned by Trump in 2020;
6. Someone that Trump claims was not very important to his candidacy despite being his campaign manager.

“I know Mr. Manafort — I haven’t spoken to him in a long time, but I know him. He was with the campaign, as you know, for a very short period of time, relatively short period of time. But I’ve always known him to be a good man.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Mannequin Man (noun): 1. A man who is so wooden and stiff that he is barely able to move more than three facial muscles at once;
2. A man whose voice is surprising and squeaky sounding;
3. A man who is more of a puppet than a man;
4. A man who can only gain success because of his father and his father-in-law.
See also: Jared Kushner

“Jared Kushner, senior presidential aide, and mannequin eating in a fancy restaurant… There are so many real things to get mad at Jared Kushner for. You know, giving PPE contracts to his buddies, having sleepovers with the Saudi prince, or speaking in a frequency that summons locusts from miles away.” -Trevor Noah, 2020

Many People are Saying (phrase): 1. Phrase used by Donald Trump to mislead intentionally;
2. Statement used to bolster false claims made by Trump.
Synonyms include: “Some say,” “People think,” and “A Lot of People are Saying.”

“Many people are saying that the Iranians killed the scientist who helped the US because of Hillary Clinton’s hacked emails.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted August 2016

Mar-a-lago (noun): 1. Donald Trump owned property in Palm Beach, Florida;
2. Trump’s legal residence as of 2019;
3. Sometimes called the Winter White House or Southern White House, Trump often used the property to host world leaders so that he could charge the US and foreign officials overpriced rates for room and food;
4. A non-secure location where guests would often hear Trump taking national security phone calls and talking with world leaders over sensitive information and chocolate cake;
5. For one hundred dollars extra, if you book an event at Mar-a-lago Trump will show up unannounced to it and tell you about his election victories;
6. Resort with an okay omelet bar.
See also; White House

“As everyone knows, President Trump is already in violation of the Use Agreement by using Mar a Lago in excess of the allotted time. This violation (as well as others on record) will continue without Town intervention… Palm Beach has many lovely estates for sale and surely he can find one which meets his needs.” -Letter to the Town Officials of Palm Beach from an attorney representing one or more residence, 2021

Marshall Law (noun): 1. Misspelling of “martial” law in a text message from Marjorie’s Taylor Green to Donald Trump’s chief of staff, Mark Meadows;
2. Suggestion made by Republicans that Trump should declare martial law in order to prevent Joe Biden from taking office after the 2020 presidential election;
3. Also known as an authoritarian coup;
4. Law that states if you find a piece of clothing on sale lower at another store Marshalls will match the price, guaranteed.

“In our private chat with only Members, several are saying the only way to save our Republic is for Trump to call for Marshall law.” -Marjorie Taylor Greene, Text Message to Mark Meadows, 2021

Masked Singer (noun): 1. Singing competition on the Fox Network, where C and D list celebrities dress up in masks and sing in order to prove that they are still relevant;
2. Television show that featured Rudy Giuliani in a jack-in-the-box costume singing, bad to the Bone, and which prompted celebrity judge Ken Jeong to walk off stage in protest;
3. Show that has featured Ken Jeong, a medical doctor, walk off of stage in protest for being seated next to Jenny McCarthy, a well-documented anti-vax proponent;
4. Reality show that tried to boost ratings by stirring controversy and starting unnecessary political fights between in-laws on a Wednesday night.

“Yeah, Rudy Giuliani just got voted off ‘The Masked Singer,’ which means he is about to spend the next five years claiming that he actually won ‘The Masked Singer.’” -Trevor Noah, 2022

McCain, John (noun): 1. Former senator from Arizona, Presidential candidate, elder statesman of the Republican party, and a Vietnam Navy veteran;
2. McCain was held captive during the Vietnam War after his plane crashed, and even refused early release until every prisoner taken before him was let go;
3. Trump and McCain were often at odds, and was a key vote against Trump and Republicans attempts at repealing the Affordable Care Act;
4. Big fan of frozen pizza dinners.
See also: Obamacare

“[McCain’s] not a war hero. He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured.” -Donald Trump, 2016

McCarthy, Kevin (noun): 1. Congressman from California and Minority Leader of the Republican Party in the House of Representatives;
2. Man who definitely definitely definitely never ever ever asked Donald Trump to resign or suggest in any way that he should step down after inspiring a violent insurrection on January 6th:
3. Politician that went down to Mar-a-Lago on multiple occasions to get pictures of himself standing next to Trump;
4. Man who refused to reprimand Marjorie Taylor Greene on her antisemitism, but did remove Liz Cheney from leadership for saying that trying to overturn democracy was bad, and was very disappointed in Madison Cawthorn for suggesting that Republicans held cocaine orgies:
5. As a child he had to defend himself against the Wet Bandits after being abandoned by his parents, twice, which they claimed were both accidental.

“Minority Leader McCarthy is a desperate man struggling to distract from his growing record of disrespect towards the police officers who protected his life. It’s saddening to watch a Republican Leader show more interest in spreading conspiracy theories than investigating an attack on the Capitol.” -Nancy Pelosi, 2022

Melanie (noun): 1. Proper spelling Melania Trump is Donald Trump’s third wife, former model from Slovenia, and the first lady of the Trump Presidency;
2. The leader of the un-ironic “Be Best” campaign that was launched to fight online bullying;
3. Wife that Donald Trump would sometimes remember to send a card to Valentine’s Day, and maybe spell her name correct;
4. Not a big fan of Christmas;
5. Someone who “really doesn’t care, do you?”;
6. Voted for Joe Biden.

“Great to have our incredible First Lady back home in the White House. Melanie is feeling and doing really well. Thank you for all of your prayers and best wishes!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted May 2018.

Merkel, Angela (noun): 1. Former Chancellor of Germany, strong ally of the US, not a fan of Donald Trump;
2. The usually stern and disappointing-looking motherly woman giving Trump a stare down in photos at international summits;
3. Trump’s worst nightmare.
See also, G20

“As we are experiencing firsthand, you cannot fight the pandemic with lies and disinformation any more than you can fight it with hate or incitement to hatred.” -Angela Merkel, 2020

Mexican Walnut (pun): 1. Donald Trump’s favorite ice-cream;
2. Get it…
See also: The Wall

“Trump takes two scoops of ice cream with his chocolate cream pie, while everyone else around the table gets just one.” -TIME Magazine, 2017

Mexico (noun): 1. Country that borders the United States to the south;
2. Country that was supposed to pay for the border wall, but was very rude about it;
3. A government that is forcing their most unwanted people into the United States;
4. Some are good people.
See also: The Hispanics

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.” -Donald Trump, 2015

Microphone Conspiracy (noun): 1. Conspiracy claim made by Donald Trump, suggesting that the Clinton campaign tampered with his microphone equipment before the first presidential debate in 2016;
2. Possible last-ditch effort by Trump to save face after losing the debate;
3. Popular online conspiracies that microphones are becoming intelligent and will soon enslave the world and force humans to be the things that they spit on and wheeze loudly into.

“They gave me a defective mic. Did you notice that? My mic was defective within the room.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Mike “In Two Weeks” Lindell (noun): 1. Nickname for Mike Lindell, owner of the My Pillow company, and known conspiracy theorist and mouthpiece for the Big Lie;
2. Liar who always claims that proof of election fraud for the 2020 presidential election is two weeks away from being revealed;
3. Man who often and loudly proclaims that the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump;
4. Man who frequently met with Trump during his last days in office to try and brainstorm ways to overturn the election and possibly declare martial law;
5. Business owner who once offered to ship pillows to the truckers involved in the Canadian Freedom Convoy, who were protesting vaccine mandates at the Canadian border, but was turned back because he failed to adhere to vaccine mandates;
6. Proof that you do not need natural intelligence, charm, or good looks to get ahead in business;
7. Possibly a Joe Mantegna character from SNL… Daaa Bears.

“What I’m talking about, Steve, is what I have been doing since January 9. All of the evidence I have, everything that is going to go before the Supreme Court, and the election of 2020 is going bye-bye.” -Mike Lindell, 2021

Mike Wallace Wannabe (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Chris Wallace, a journalist and anchor on Fox News;
2. Myron Leon “Mike” Wallace was an American journalist and media personality, and someone Trump probably wouldn’t have liked either if he was still on the air during his presidency;
See also: Negative Guy

“Just watched Mike Wallace wannabe, Chris Wallace, on @FoxNews. I am now convinced that he is even worse than Sleepy Eyes Chuck Todd of Meet the Press(please!), or the people over at Deface the Nation. What the hell is happening to @FoxNews. It’s a whole new ballgame over there!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted April 2020

Miller, Stephen (noun): 1. Former advisor to Donald Trump, and crafter of some of the most heinous white supremacist policies;
2. The only person with a worse head of hair than Trump in the White House;
3. A sentient piece of fungus that somehow gained life and cannot be exposed to direct sunlight.

“Continue to worship at the alter [sic] of multiculturalism and we may come to see that we are participating in the sacrifice of the one culture which binds us all.” -Stephen Miller, 2007

Misogyny (noun): 1. Reflexive dislike or hatred of women, including sexist attitudes and institutionalized prejudices, often stemming from male insecurity;
2. Characteristic of President Trump;
3. Demeaning tactics used by Trump to hide obvious feelings of inadequacy toward women;
4. The only beauty pageant that Trump could win, Miss Ogyny.
Not to be confused with: Monogamy, which is a “relationship with only one partner at a time,” which is not a trait of Donald Trump.

“Look at that face [Presidential Nominee Carly Fiorina]. Would anybody vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president? I mean, she’s a woman, and I’m not supposed to say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?” -Donald Trump, 2015

Miss Universe (noun): 1. Beauty pageant owned and run by Donald Trump for many years;
2. A vehicle often used by Trump so he could meet and harass young beautiful women;
3. A pageant once won by a woman Trump now refers to as “Miss Piggy,” and “Miss Housekeeping,” which is a racial slur as she is Latinx.
See also: Not My Type

“I’ll go backstage before a show, and everyone’s getting dressed and ready and everything else… You know, no men are anywhere. And I’m allowed to go in because I’m the owner of the pageant. And therefore, I’m inspecting it… Is everyone OK? You know, they’re standing there with no clothes. And you see these incredible-looking women. And so, I sort of get away with things like that,” Donald Trump, 2005

Modi, Narendra (noun): 1. Prime minister of India, elected in 2014;
2. Man who Trump liked and often spoke very highly of, and Modi in return, often praised Trump;
3. World leader that was supposed to strike an “incredible trade agreement” with Trump, but which never ended up happening;
4. Politician that is sometimes referred to as India’s Trump, mostly due to his economic message of deregulating the country’s markets and for his nationalist messages that tap into the resentment of the impoverished and directs their anger at elites and minorities;
5. Man who was once banned from entering the United States because of his role in inciting riots against Muslims that left more than a thousand people dead;
6. Elected official who moved to strip 2 million Muslims of Indian citizenship as undocumented immigrants and encouraged the building of detention camps to house those who are classified as undocumented;
7. Person who once attended an event in Houston called, Howdy Modi.

“Very soon India will have to access to another world class American product, NBA basketball. Wow, sounds good. Next week thousands in Mumbai will watch the first ever NBA game in India… am I invited Mr. Prime Minister? I may come, be careful I may come.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Monster (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s name for a woman of color holding office;
2. Most people’s name for Donald Trump.
See also: Camel Laugh

“This monster [Kamala Harris] that was onstage with Mike Pence, who destroyed her last night, by the way. This monster, she says, ‘no no, there won’t be fracking,’ there won’t be this. Everything she said is a lie.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Montreal Cognitive Assessment (noun): 1. Abbreviated as MoCA, it is an assessment created in 1996 by Dr. Ziad Nasreddine;
2. Cognitive test designed to check patients for Alzheimer’s and other cognitive degeneration, with questions that ask people to identify animals, remember words, draw a cube, and read a clock face;
3. Test which is only given to patients who are showing signs of cognitive decline, such as repeating speech and forgetfulness;
4. Test that is not an indicator of IQ or intelligence;
5. Assessment that was given to Donald Trump, and of which he cannot stop talking about;
6. Exam that Trump got a 30 out of 30, and claims that he believes most people would not be able to pass;
7. Assessment given by Mounties that asks you to drink maple syrup and sing the Canadian National Anthem backwards to test if someone is too drunk on Molson to drive.
See also: Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV

“Yes, the first few questions are easy, but I’ll bet you couldn’t even answer the last five questions. I’ll bet you couldn’t, they get very hard, the last five questions.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Moonface (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for George Conway, attorney, and husband of Kellyanne Conway;
2. Man who, despite being a Republican has been a staunch anti-Trumper, and thorn in Trump’s Twitter feed;
3. Man, of questionable fathering skills;
4. Idea that when you look at the moon at just the right angle you can see it angrily responding to Trump tweets and arguing with his wife.
See also: The Loser Project

“Trump’s lying, his self-regard, his self-soothing, his lack of empathy, his narcissistic rage, his contempt for norms, rules, laws, facts and simple truths — have all come home to roost. Now he sees his poll numbers fall accordingly, and lashes out with ever-increasing anger. For deep in his psyche he knows the truth. Because he fears being revealed as a fake or deranged, he’ll call others fake or deranged. Because he fears losing, he’ll call them losers instead.” -George Conway, 2020

Moscow Mitch (noun): 1. Republican Senator Mitch McConnell was the majority leader of the Senate under Trump, and was one of the biggest enablers of Trump’s agenda and biggest roadblocks to progressive legislation and appointments;
2. The senator that blocked efforts to strengthen US elections against foreign interference, such as the Russian interference during the 2016 elections, as was recommended in the Mueller Report;
3. Russian asset;
4. Geriatric mutant turtle that blocks democratic appointments to the Supreme Court, but refuses to play by the rules he created;
5. Vodka, ginger beer, lime juice, blood of the innocent, two drops of children’s tears, and a wedge of lemon.
See also: Supreme Court

“If I’m still the majority leader of the Senate after next year, none of those things are going to pass the Senate. They won’t even be voted on. So, think of me as the Grim Reaper: the guy who is going to make sure that socialism doesn’t land on the president’s desk.” -Mitch McConnell, 2019

Most People Don’t Know (phrase): 1. Statement often uttered by Donald Trump right before he proclaims a well-known or historic fact;
2. Statement Trump uses to sound smart;
3. Statement that often signals that Trump himself just learned a very common bit of trivial knowledge, and wants to present it like he’s known it all along;
4. Most uttered phrase when Trump White House staffers were asked who was in charge.
Synonyms include: “A lot of people don’t know,” and “People don’t realize.”

“France is America’s first and oldest ally. A lot of people don’t know that.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Most Pro-Gay President (noun): 1. Donald Trump signed a law that undercut President Obama’s anti-discriminatory protections for LGBTQ+ contractors;
2. Trump’s Justice Department argued that a federal civil rights law does not protect employees based on discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation;
3. Trump’s State Department appealed a federal judge’s decision to recognize the US citizenship of a young girl born via surrogate to a gay couple, claiming that the girl was born to a Canadian surrogate, “out of wedlock,” and was not entitled to birthright citizenship;
4. President James Buchanan.

“President Trump is the most pro-gay president in American history. I can prove it.” -Richard Grenell, Campaign Ad, 2020

Mueller Report (noun): 1. Nearly 500-page document detailing the findings of Robert Mueller’s investigations in the 2016 presidential election and the conclusive proof that Russian foreign agents successfully affected the election in favor of Donald Trump;
2. Report that uncovered extensive criminal activity and multiple contacts between Trump allies and Russian contacts;
3. Report that concluded Russian interference was “sweeping and systemic,” that included social media campaigns, hacking of Hillary Clinton’s campaign database, release of stolen materials to Wikileaks, and targeting of databases in many states related to information on millions of registered US voters;
4. Something that is a complete sham, run by angry democrats who hate Trump and hate America… No collusion;
5. A report you read while having a cold Miller beer.
See also: Gang of Angry Democrats

“I think Robert Mueller did a horrible job, both today and with respect to the investigation… Obviously he did very poorly today. I don’t think there’s anybody — even among the fakers — I don’t think there’s anybody that would say he did well.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Music Man, The (noun): 1. Donald Trump aide solely tasked with playing music, including Memory from the musical Cats, in order to calm Trump down when he was having a temper tantrum;
2. A musical play about a con man who pretends to be something he is not to dupe gullible Midwesterners into trusting him;
3. What Trump called his son Eric for three years after he tried to learn the kazoo.

“When I began to see how his temper wasn’t just for shock value or the cameras, I began to regret my decision to go to the West Wing. He didn’t like them telling him that things he wanted to do were unethical or illegal. So, he’d scream at them. But then he’d usually listen. And then yell at them again later.” -Stephanie Grisham, former Trump press secretary, 2021

Muslim Ban (noun): 1. Illegal and unethical travel restrictions that Donald Trump repeatedly tried to implement that barred people from majorly Muslim countries from entering the United States;
2. Done to prevent terrorism, despite the fact that most of the targeted countries were not known for terrorism, and the biggest country of origin for terrorists, Saudi Arabia, was omitted from the ban;
3. Trump administration also drastically reduced the number of refugees it allowed in the country to the lowest number in modern history;
4. Obama did it too;
5. Something that Trump later claimed was just a travel ban, and that he never said he was targeting Muslims.

“Donald J. Trump is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what the hell is going on.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Muslims, The (plural noun): 1. How Donald Trump refers to the followers of Islam;
2. A religious group that can be found in all corners of the world, and has complex ideologies that range from moderate to extremes, just like any other major world religion;
3. People most often associated with terrorism, despite the fact that the majority of terroristic attacks committed on the soil of the United States have been from white nationalist terrorists;
4. A religious and cultural group that is most often associated as terrorists and are therefore more likely to be stopped and profiled as potential threats and treated in that way;
5. People who Trump falsely believes he saw dancing and celebrating in Jersey City after the 9/11 attacks;
6. People that Trump hates and does not think that they are great people.

“I love the Muslims. I think they’re great people.” -Donald Trump, 2015

My Favorite Dictator (noun): 1. Donald Trump nickname for Abdel Fattah Al-Sisi, President of Egypt;
2. Authoritarian embraced by Trump, despite being accused of overseeing mass detentions, forced evictions, military trials for civilians, and extrajudicial killings of protestors;
3. Short-lived sitcom in 1966 featuring Hayden Rorke, Emmaline Henry, and General Francisco Franco as the wacky neighbor.

“Where’s my favorite dictator?” -Donald Trump, 2019

Nambia (noun): 1. Gaffe spoken twice by Donald Trump at luncheon with African leaders during United Nations General Assembly, but it was unclear whether he meant Namibia, Zambia, or Gambia;
2. Fictional African country with an excellent healthcare system;
3. Country whose neighbors include Zamunda and Wakanda;
See also: United Nations

“Nambia’s health system is increasingly self-sufficient.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Nancy (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s surprisingly unoriginal nickname for Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, and Democratic congresswoman from California;
2. Staunch opposer of Trump’s agenda, she oversaw two Impeachments of Trump as well as a slew of progressive bills passed in the house, all of which died in the Republican-controlled Senate under Mitch McConnell;
3. A famous clapping meme from 2019;
4. One of the women that Trump fears the most.

“Even worse than offending the Founding Fathers, you are offending Americans of faith by continually saying ‘I pray for the president’, when you know this statement is not true, unless it is meant in the negative sense.” -Donald Trump to Nancy Pelosi, 2019

Narrowcasting (verb): 1. Transmission of television programs to a comparatively localized or specialist audience;
2. Practice of a news channel moving from trying to service a broad audience with factual truth and honest reporting to servicing a small portion of the population with tailor made outrage and narrowly focused pieces meant to instill anger and contempt;
3. Model that is meant to appeal only to a core audience and create a demographic purity, while driving away all other dissenting opinions or viewers that fit into a desired niche;
4. Strategy that eventually hooks audiences into believing that the narrowcasted program or persona is the only person they can reliably trust and that all other opinions and truths have nefarious motives;
5. Business model for Fox News;
6. Voter strategy for Donald Trump.

“Even though Trump’s contemporary media persona was developed on the broadcast network NBC, The Apprentice aired long after networks gave up trying to capture the mass audience. During this time, Trump learned that not all viewers are equal, as networks only really care about the 18- to 49-year-old demographic, and most advertisers slice up ratings into even smaller demographic and psychographic niches. In the 21st century, a hit show needs only a fraction of the audience that it once did in the broadcast era.” -Jason Mittell, Professor of Film and Culture, 2016

Nasty Woman (noun): 1. A moniker that Donald Trump applies to any woman who criticizes him or speaks about him in ways that he does not like, such as Kamala Harris, Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Meghan Markle, and the prime minister of Denmark;
2. Proof that Trump is threatened by strong women.

“[Kamala Harris] was very very nasty, to… she was probably nastier than even Pocahontas to Joe Biden. She was very disrespectful to Joe Biden, and it’s hard to pick somebody that’s that disrespectful.” -Donald Trump, 2020

National Anthem (noun): 1. Colloquial reference to National Anthem of the United States of America, also called the Star-Spangled Banner;
2. Song that Donald Trump does not know the words to;
3. Song which Trump cannot stand still for, and often feigns conducting;
4. Song for which Trump and his supporters believe that people should not kneel for, despite that still being a show of respectful protest;
5. Song which is notoriously difficult to sing because it calls for the ability to sing a vowel on the highest note of the piece.
See also: National Football League

“Wouldn’t you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, ‘Get that son of a bitch off the field right now. Out! He’s fired. He’s fired!… And that owner, they don’t know it [but] they’ll be the most popular person in this country.” -Donald Trump, 2017

National Football League (noun): 1. Abbreviated NFL, this is the professional league of American Football, and one of the most powerful profit-making organizations in the United States;
2. Super Bowl winners typically visit the White House after winning the game, but the 2018 Philadelphia Eagles, the 2019 New England Patriots, and the 2020 2020 Kansas City Chiefs all declined to or were disinvited from attending the Donald Trump White House;
3. A professional sports league which Donald Trump tried multiple times to purchase ownership of a team, through begging and lawsuits, he even started a competing football league which ultimately failed and fell into bankruptcy;
4. Sports league where players as well as other sports athletes, particularly African American athletes, began to kneeling during the playing of the National Anthem as a non-violent way to protest police brutality in America, first started by Colin Kaepernick;
5. A game which Donald Trump really wishes his supporters would hate as much as he does.

“Looking forward to live sports, but any time I witness a player kneeling during the National Anthem, a sign of great disrespect for our Country and our Flag, the game is over for me!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted July 2020

Native Americans (plural noun): 1. A catch-all term for a large and diverse group of tribes that originally lived on and owned the continental United States before being systematically killed, and relocated by white and European settlers, and are still often stereotyped and prejudiced against, especially in the naming of sport teams;
2. People Trump often maligned and insulted, as he saw Native American casinos a threat to his gambling business;
3. Trump secretly paid more than one million dollars in ads that portrayed members of a tribe in New York as drug traffickers and career criminals;
4. People who Donald Trump regularly disrespected by reducing lands, such as the Bears Ears Monument, the Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument, which were among the largest rollbacks of publicly protected lands in the history of the United States;
5. People who valiantly fought Trump on the building of the Dakota Access pipeline;
6. People that Trump has referred to as “drunken injuns;”
7. A proud tribal people who still have casinos while Donald Trump no longer does.
See also: Pocahontas

“I think I might have more Indian blood than a lot of the so-called Indians that are trying to open up the reservations.” Donald Trump, 1993

Negative Guy (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Chris Wallace, a journalist and anchor on Fox News;
2. Wallace is known for being one of the only true journalists left on Fox News, often asking tough questions of Republicans on a network that has become full of pundits who take their talking points from Trump and his followers;
3. Wallace has often been criticized by people on the left for being the only journalist left on Fox News, often accused of giving the network cover to claim legitimacy while running the majority of its program as propaganda;
4. Wallace has often been criticized by people on the right for being the only journalist left on Fox News, often accused of asking questions that are too tough or unfair of right-wing Republican guests or Trump allies, including criticism from Trump himself who claims he is very unfair and responsible for Fox News’ falling ratings;
5. Moderator of presidential debates;
6. The newest superhero to get a multi-million-dollar summer movie release.
See also: Fox News

“It’s because of Chris Wallace. He was disastrous. It was your basic disaster and he’s just a very negative guy and the people don’t want to hear that. That’s why they tune out.” -Donald Trump, 2021

Nervous Nancy (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi;
2. Woman who regularly stood up to Trump, sometimes literally;
3. Possibly the only person who prays for Trump;
4. Children’s book about a girl learning to overcome her fears and stand up to orange faced bullies.
See also: Nancy

“I don’t know if the president understands prayer or people who do pray… I pray very hard for him, because he’s so off the track.” -Nancy Pelosi, 2020

Neuman, Alfred E. (noun): 1. Name for fictitious mascot of American humor magazine Mad;
2. Trump’s nickname for Pete Buttigieg, former military officer, mayor of South Bend, Indiana, and secretary of transportation under Joe Biden;
3. First openly gay presidential nominee;
4. Remark that really proves that Trump was one of the oldest presidents serving in office;
5. Maker of fine salad dressings since 1982.

“I’ll be honest. I had to Google [Alfred E. Neuman]. I guess it’s just a generational thing. I didn’t get the reference. It’s kind of funny, I guess.” -Pete Buttigieg, 2019

Never Trumper (noun): 1. A Republican or conservative who attempted to stop Donald Trump from obtaining the 2016 Republican party nomination for president;
2. A movement by some conservatives to oust Trump as the central figure of the Republican Party;
3. What Donald Trump calls any person who does not agree with him or says anything negative about him;
Not to be confused with a “Never Trumpeter,” who is a person who often refuses to play the trumpet, making for awkward moments at band camp.

“The Never Trumper Republicans, though on respirators with not many left, are in certain ways worse and more dangerous for our Country than the Do Nothing Democrats. Watch out for them, they are human scum!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted October 2019

Never Would Have Happened Under Trump (statement): 1. Misleading utterance by ardent Trump supporters which claims that “XYZ bad thing” would have never happened if Donald Trump was still president;
2. Examples include inflation, rising gas prices, the War in Ukraine, the messy withdrawal of forces from Afghanistan, and the milk crate challenge;
3. Statement usually made with little or no evidence as most political, economic, and social trends began under the Trump Presidency, and continued in one form or another into the future, because that is how time works;
4. Statement that also refers to: fair elections, honest leadership, nutritional meals at the White House, the appointment of competent government officials, and lowering trends of COVID death numbers.

“Under our administration Russia respected America just like every other country respected America, but now Joe Biden is seen as weak. As everyone understands, this horrific disaster would never have happened if our election was not rigged and if I was the president.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Nipple (noun): 1. Small projection of mammary ducts on a mammal;
2. Small projection on a device or machine, which dispenses fluids in small amounts;
3. Trumpspeak for the country of Nepal during a briefing ahead of a 2017 meeting with India’s prime minister, as well as mispronouncing Bhutan as Button.
Contributed by @PutYourMarkOnIt

“…In another briefing on South Asia, Trump’s advisors brought a map of the region from Afghanistan to Bangladesh, according to intelligence officers with knowledge of the meeting and congressional officials who were briefed on it. Trump, they said, pointed at the map and said he knew that Nepal was part of India, only to be told that it is an independent nation. When said he was familiar with Bhutan and knew it, too, was part of India, his briefers told him that Bhutan was an independent kingdom.” -Time Magazine, 2019

No Talent Samantha Bee (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Samantha Bee, comedian and late-night talk show host;
2. Former correspondent for The Daily Show, under Jon Stewart;
3. Very talented.
See also: Not Funny/No Talent

“Of course, impeachment doesn’t mean that the Democrats will be able to remove Trump from office. In fact, the only way to successfully remove him from the White House is to leave a trail of cupcakes decorated with vulvas. It’s his two favorite things together in one treat. The only difference is that he’ll eat the cupcake.” -Samantha Bee, 2019

Nobel Prize (noun): 1. Prestigious prize awarded to extraordinary people who have helped foster peace and achievement on a global scale;
2. Prize awarded to four previous US Presidents, Jimmy Carter, Woodrow Wilson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Barack Obama;
3. Prize not awarded to Donald Trump, despite his insistence that he should receive one;
4. Prize for which Trump tried to push Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe to nominate him;
5. Prize that Trump may believe is a golden bell.

“I’m going to tell you about the Nobel Peace Prize, I’ll tell you about that. I made a deal, I saved a country, and I just heard that the head of that country is now getting the Nobel Peace Prize for saving the country. I said: ‘What, did I have something to do with it?’ Yeah, but you know, that’s the way it is. As long as we know, that’s all that matters… I saved a big war, I’ve saved a couple of them.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Nomination (noun): 1. The process by which nominees are selected, specifically in American politics for both the Democratic and Republican parties;
2. Process that Donald Trump vowed not to honor if he didn’t win the Republican nomination in 2016;
3. Process that Trump won in 2016;
4. Deep regret by some Trump voters;
5. Not as much of a regret as you might hope for other Trump voters.
See also: Primary Election

“I cannot [pledge to support the winning nominee]. I have to respect the person that, if it’s not me, the person that wins, if I do win, and I’m leading by quite a bit, that’s what I want to do. I can totally make that pledge. If I’m the nominee, I will pledge I will not run as an independent. But – and I am discussing it with everybody, but I’m, you know, talking about a lot of leverage. We want to win, and we will win. But I want to win as the Republican. I want to run as the Republican nominee.” -Donald Trump, 2016

North Atlantic Treaty Organization (noun): 1. Abbreviated as NATO, it is the organization that was formed an intergovernmental military alliance between European and North American countries to deter Russian influence and military power;
2. One of the most important military alliances in United States History;
3. Alliance that Donald Trump thinks is unfair and that he has publicly railed against;
4. Organization where Trump believes most of the nations involved are not paying their fair share of funding;
5. Place where they definitely never let Trump sit at the cool kids table in the cafeteria.
See also: Photo Op

“Our NATO partners, as an example, were very far behind in their defense payments, but at my strong urging, they agreed to pay $130 billion more a year, and this $130 billion will ultimately go to $400 billion a year.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Not Funny/No Talent (adjective): 1. Insults that Donald Trump has applied to Saturday Night Live, and late-night comedy hosts, such as Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Seth Meyers, and Samantha Bee;
2. Pointless feuds that Trump often engaged in during his presidency, as opposed to focusing on the issues affecting the nation;
3. Late night shows that Trump once asked the US Justice Department and the Federal Communications Commission to probe and stop from making fun of him;
4. What critics said of Donald Trump’s performance in Home Alone 2.

“Well, I can’t speak for Seth. He’s very talented, but I’m an idiot. And the only reason I have this job is because I married the daughter of Donald CBS, and for some reason he keeps putting me in charge of everything.” -Stephen Colbert, 2020

Not My Type (excuse): 1. What Donald Trump most often says when faced with a woman who has accused him of sexual harassment or sexual assault;
2. These women include: Jill Harth, Temple Taggart, Cassandra Searles, Tasha Dixon, Mariah Billado, Rachel Crooks, Jessica Leeds, Mindy McGillivray, Jennifer Murphy, Natasha Stoynoff, Lisa Boyle, Kristin Anderson, Samantha Holvey, Summer Zervos, Karen Virginia, Jessica Drake, and Ninni Laaksonen;
3. Said about E. Jean Carroll, who accused Trump of rape;
4. Words spoken by a monster.

“The minute [Trump] closed that door, I was banged up against the wall. I want women to know that I did not stand there. I did not freeze. I was not paralyzed, which is a reaction I could have had because it was so shocking. No, I fought.” -E. Jean Carroll, 2019

Numbskull (noun): 1. Nickname for Donald Trump by Washington Post reporter Kathleen Parker;
2. Person for whom thinking is a challenge;
3. Trump supporter who cannot see past Trump’s rhetoric;
4. Noted side effect of wearing a red MAGA hat for too long.

“One’s only conclusion: The man either can’t or won’t think before speaking. Shooting from the hip may work on reality TV, but it’s no way to run a country — or even to broker a deal, ART OF which seems to have been lost on its author.” -Kathleen Parker, 2016

Nunes, Devin (noun): 1. Former congressman from California, member of Donald Trump’s transition team, and first-class denier of intelligence community evidence showing links between the Trump Campaign and Russian operatives;
2. Man who leaked confidential information with Trump and the media, before bringing it to the House Intelligence Committee, upon which he served;
3. Elected official who was asked to recuse himself from the Russian investigation due to his incompetence and close ties to Trump;
4. Man who met his step goals by running back and forth between the White House and the Capitol to report to Trump everything that was going on in the closed-door meetings;
5. Person who stepped down from office to be appointed by Trump as the CEO of Truth Social, Donald Trump’s failing social media platform;
6. Words that roughly translate from Portuguese as, “the Ninth Devil.”
See also: Truth Social

“So, it’s like your classic Catch-22 situation, where we were at a — this puts us in such a tough spot. If [Attorney General Jeff] Sessions won’t un-recuse and [Special Counsel Robert] Mueller won’t clear the president, [Republican-led Congress are] the only ones [who can protect Trump], which is really the danger. That’s why… we have to keep all these seats, we have to keep the majority. If we do not keep the majority, all of this goes away.” -Devin Nunes, 2018

Nut Job (noun): 1. Name given by Donald Trump to Alec Baldwin, after Baldwin accidentally shot a cinematographer on set for one of his movies while filming a scene;
2. Statement made by Trump that implied Baldwin committed the fatal act on purpose;
3. Word that has also been used by Trump to refer to: James Comey, Bernie Sanders, Lindsey Graham, and Glenn Beck;
4. Term consisting of “nut,” a colloquial word meant to imply someone is crazy, such as a person who lives in a golden tower and rants on Twitter, and “job,” a thing that Trump has never had in his life.

“He’s a troubled guy. There’s something wrong with him. I’ve watched him for years. He gets into fistfights with reporters. He’s a cuckoo-bird, he’s a nut job. And usually, when there’s somebody like that, you know, in my opinion, he had something to do with it.” -Donald Trump, 2021

Obamacare (noun): 1. Derogatory name given to the Affordable Care Act by Republicans, it is a legislative act that represents the US health care system’s most significant overhaul since the 1960’s, and halved the uninsured population, increased coverage, and did away with discrimination based on preexisting conditions;
2. The most hated piece of legislation by Republicans and they attempted to repeal it dozens of times between 2011 and 2018;
3. An act that weakened under Trump through underfunding and non-supportive measures;
4. The last significant time was under Donald Trump who despite promising Repeal and Replace never put forth any legislation or even framework for what he believed should replace the ACA and continue to protect the healthcare of Americans;
5. An act which often prompts people to say, “Thanks Obama.”

Nobody knew health care could be so complicated

Obamagate (noun): 1. <<Definition Not Found>>;
2. Random words that Donald Trump once tweeted in order to pretend that President Obama had a criminal scandal to distract from his own failings at handling the coronavirus;
3. A gate named in Barack Obama’s honor.
Similar to “What About Obama,” or “But Obama…”

“The biggest political crime in American history, by far! OBAMAGATE makes Watergate look small time!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted May 2020.

Oblivious F*ck Off (noun): 1. Tendency by Donald Trump to continuously use American Sign-Language gestures that mimic the letters “F” and “O” while speaking, despite being unaware of doing so;
2. How Melania seems to disappear during nights when Trump is feeling, “in the mood.”

“How to Say Donald Trump’s name in sign language: Use your hand to emulate what might happen if a stiff wind came in contact with Trump’s hair.” -Sadie Dingfelder, Washington Post, 2016.

Off the Record, Mr. (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Phillip Rucker, a reporter for the Washington Post
2. Author of multiple journalistic pieces and a book about Trump’s final year in the White House and the internal strike and controversies that plagued the administration;
3. Nickname given to that one DJ who can never seem to figure out how a record player works.
See also: Amazon Washington Post

“The Washington Post’s @PhilipRucker (Mr. Off the Record) & @AshleyRParker, two nasty lightweight reporters, shouldn’t even be allowed on the grounds of the White House because their reporting is so DISGUSTING & FAKE. Also, add the appointment of MANY Federal Judges this summer!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted September 2019

Old Crow (noun): 1. One of Donald Trump’s nicknames for Mitch McConnell, leader of the Republican party in the US Senate and the self-stylized grim reaper of all policies good and beneficial to the American people;
2. Nickname meant as an insult against McConnell whom Trump believed betrayed him after he left office;
3. Name born of a belief that McConnell is a Republican in Name Only, as he does not stand for what Trump believes the Republican party should stand for, namely himself;
4. The name of Henry Clay’s favorite bourbon… according to McConnell;
5. Name of McConnell’s pet familiar who finds for him his nightly blood sacrifices.
See also: RINO

“I see that the RINO Senator from Alabama, close friend of Old Crow Mitch McConnell, Richard Shelby, is pushing hard to have his ‘assistant’ fight the great Mo Brooks for his Senate seat. She is not in any way qualified and is certainly not what our Country needs or not what Alabama wants. For Mitch McConnell to be wasting money on her campaign is absolutely outrageous.” -Donald Trump, 2021

One Million 870 Thousand-Million (noun): 1. Either 1,870,000,000,000,000;
2. Or 1,870,000 plus one million;
3. Number of COVID-19 tests supposedly conducted;
4. Money that Trump always claims he has, when playing Monopoly.

“We’ve performed 1.87 million [COVID-19] tests to date. So that’s 1 million, 870 thousand — million tests. Think of that: 1,870,000 tests to date. And now we’re performing them at a level that nobody has ever seen before.” -Donald Trump, 2020

One Religion (noun): 1. A universal religion hinted at by Michael Flynn during the “Reawaken America Tour,” of which Flynn believes that everyone in the United States must embrace or be damned;
2. Christianity… He was talking about Christianity;
3. Comment made at the church of Rev. John Hagee, an institution known for regularly spouting sermons in defense of Christian nationalism, anti-vaccine conspiracies, QAnon, pro-Donald Trump conspiracies, and where speakers regularly tell Joe Biden to “go to hell;”
4. Concept that turns American politics, progress, and history into a religious holy war, despite the savior of Christianity not being particularly Christian in values, manner, or in any meaningful way.
See also: Baby Christian

“If we are going to have one nation under God, which we must, we have to have one religion. One nation under God, and one religion under God.” -Michael Flynn, 2021

Open & Honest Liar (noun): 1. Politician whose lies are so obvious and stupid that people think he is sincere about the emotions behind his lies, even if the uttered facts are untrue;
2. Form of “truthiness.”
Contributed by Ryan Skinnell, @rhetrickery

“Truthiness has to feel true, but Trumpiness doesn’t even have to do that. Many Trump supporters don’t believe his wildest promises, and they don’t care. These legitimately angry voters don’t need a leader to say things that are true or to feel things that are true. They need a leader to feel things that feel feels.” -Stephen Colbert, 2016

Orange (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for the word “origin;”
2. A delicious citrus fruit, commonly found in Florida;
3. Color of Donald Trump’s skin.

“[Trump] doesn’t sweat because his pores are clogged from the spray tan… Donald Trump isn’t gonna make America great, he’s gonna make America orange.” Sen. Marco Rubio, 2016

Orange Amoeba (noun): 1. Nickname for Donald Trump coined by anti-Trump Republican strategist, Ana Navarro;
2. Name that was started over sexual assault allegations against Donald Trump and his latest poll numbers;
3. Technical term for the variant of Coronavirus that mutated in the White House.

“My problem is that if I think the President is the lowest form of life, if I think he is an orange amoeba, I cannot get to discuss policy because I am stuck down there by the fact that he is not fit to be President.” -Ana Navarro, 2016

Out of Toilet Paper (statement): 1. Comment made by Roger Stone during an interview after he had been served with papers in connection to the January 6th Insurrection;
2. Assertion that Stone believes that legal papers are worthless and are something he can use to wipe himself with, partially due to the fact that he feels protected by Donald Trump, who pardoned Stone for his previous crimes;
3. Remark that could also apply to Trump’s tendency to flush legal documents down the drain, as reports indicate he occasionally clogged White House toilets with paperwork;
4. An occurrence that will not seem so funny to Roger Stone during his next stay in prison.

“This is a big, big stack of papers, which is good, because we’re out of toilet paper,” -Roger Stone, 2021

Out-of-Control-Dope (noun): 1. Reference made by Donald Trump about Lieutenant Michael Byrd who shot Ashli Babbitt when she tried to climb through a broken window in front of the Speaker’s Lobby in the US Capitol building during the January 6th Insurrection;
2. Police Officer who Trump also refers to as a “disgrace,” but was exonerated for his shooting;
3. 28-year veteran of the Capitol Police force, who defended the building and the sitting members of Congress through a siege of riots sent to the Capitol at the behest of Trump;
4. At the same rally Trump also claimed that the FBI was behind the insurrection.
Not to be confused with: Dope-Out-of-Control, which was Donald Trump Jr’s nickname in high school.

“I watched this guy being interviewed, they wanted to protect him so they wanted to keep him. He couldn’t get on television fast enough. The guy who shot Ashli Babbitt for no reason. He’s so proud of himself. Let’s see how he could do without the protections that he got. And by the way, if that happened the other way around they’d be calling ‘let’s bring back the electric chair.” -Donald Trump, 2022

Over My Dead Body (statement): 1. Words uttered by Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska and former vice-presidential candidate under John McCain;
2. Unintentionally ironic statement made by Palin in response to whether or not she would be getting a coronavirus vaccine;
3. Statement made at AmericaFest in Arizona, by someone who had previously contracted COVID in 2021;
4. Type of utterance that makes people with an understanding of science usually respond with, “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

“It’ll be over my dead body that I’ll have to get a shot,” Palin told a cheering crowd. “I will not do that. I won’t do it, and they better not touch my kids either.” -Sarah Palin, 2021

Owning the Libs (verb): 1. What Trump supporters believe that Donald Trump does every day with his actions and words;
2. One of the appeals of Trump to his base is that they see him as crass and unpolished, often speaking in non-politically correct terms, which they think drives liberal-minded people crazy;
3. The Republican strategy from 2020 onward;
4. Essentially a confession by Trump supporters that one of the reasons they support Trump is because he is a troll and a bully;
5. Cost of owning a lib at the time of writing is $22.50 in the US and $19.75 in Canada.

“I can envision a time where [pro-Trump Florida Rep.] Matt Gaetz could pin a picture of [Democratic New York Rep.] Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez to his own crotch, and smash it with a ball-peen hammer, and he’ll think it’s a huge success if 100,000 liberals attack him as an idiot… [Owning the libs] is a way of taking what the other side criticizes about you and making it into a badge of honor.” -Jonah Goldberg, 2021

Oz, Dr. (noun): 1. Mehmet Cengiz Öz is a physician, TV personality, and author, best known for peddling pseudoscience, alternative medicine, faith healing, and paranormal beliefs on his show and in his books;
2. Informal advisor to Trump during his presidency, he promoted hydroxychloroquine;
3. Literal snake-oil salesman who was endorsed by fellow TV personality and conman, Donald Trump, for a Senate seat in Pennsylvania;
4. Man who does not live in Pennsylvania, but instead lives in Cliffside, New Jersey, which makes some question his commitment to actually representing the people of Pennsylvania;
5. Man who regularly asks you to “pay no attention to the man behind the curtain,” as he often has to defend himself against claims of consumer fraud.

“This is all about winning elections in order to stop the Radical Left maniacs from destroying our Country. I have known Dr. Oz for many years, as have many others, even if only through his very successful television show. He has lived with us through the screen and has always been popular, respected, and smart. He even said that I was in extraordinary health, which made me like him even more (although he also said I should lose a couple of pounds!).” -Donald Trump, 2022

Pakistani Mystery Man, The (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Imran Awan, former IT staffer for Democrat officials;
2. Pakistani American suspected, along with four other staffers, of using multiple usernames and passwords to skirt House rules and purchase office items;
3. Target of a right-wing conspiracy theory that cast Awan as a mole for Pakistani intelligence, which was picked up and amplified by Trump and used to fuel his own conspiracies of stolen elections,
4. Man singled out by right-wing conspiracy theorists and Trump, most likely because his name was not “Ed Smith.”

“Just heard the Campaign was sued by the Obstructionist Democrats. This can be good news in that we will now counter for the DNC Server that they refused to give to the FBI, the Debbie Wasserman Schultz Servers and Documents held by the Pakistani mystery man and Clinton Emails.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted April 2018

Parched (adjective): 1. Being thirsty or dehydrated;
2. Effect that happens to one when on a presidential debate stage when they realize that they are out of their depth;
3. Condition that forces a president to drink a cup of water with both hands while taking small sips.

“I brought that glass of water up to my mouth and drank from it without spilling a drop on my tie. You can look at the tape. There was not a single drop of spillage.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Pardon (noun/verb): 1. The act of granting pardon onto someone for their crimes;
2. Clemency issued by a person in authority, like Donald Trump who issued pardons to a racist sheriff, a conservative commentator and campaign finance violator, two crazy ranchers, several friends and business patrons, and members of his own staff including Michael Flynn, George Papadopoulos, Stephen Bannon, Paul Manafort, and Roger Stone;
3. Something that more than three dozen lawyers and lobbyists were selling to their clients in the final days of the Trump Presidency;
4. An act that Trump cannot perform on himself… not that he would need to;
5. Something Rudy Giuliani never said after farting in a Congressional hearing.

“He has no intention of pardoning himself, but he probably, not to say he can’t. I think the political ramifications would be tough. Pardoning other people is one thing, pardoning yourself is tough… He has no need to do it. He’s done nothing wrong.” Rudy Giuliani, 2018

Paris Climate Accord (noun): 1. A 2015 deal drafted in Paris and signed by most nations, it was a pledge for nations to actively fight to keep the rising global temperature below 1.5 Celsius;
2. Signed by President Obama it was one of the first agreements that Trump vowed to break during his presidency;
3. Something that Trump viewed as a restricting attack on US sovereignty and impediment to US business interest due to a made-up reason that was really nothing more than a Chinese hoax;
4. An agreement that Trump may confusingly believe only protects the people of Paris, France and nowhere else in the world.
See also: Global Warming

“I was elected to represent the citizens of Pittsburgh, not Paris.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Patient Zero (noun): 1. Medical term given to the first recorded person of an outbreak event;
2. Donald Trump’s title after opposing the recommended CDC precautions in the White House, becoming infected with COVID-19, and passing it on to dozens of officials, staff, and at least one Supreme Court nominee;
3. The amount of patience Trump has during high-level briefings.
See also: Coronavirus

“I think the president was infected with coronavirus for at least a week before he was admitted to the hospital… I think he is the superspreader. And I think the reason the White House will not have the CDC do a formal check… is that they’re concerned that the patient zero might be the President of the United States.” Dr. Jonathan Reiner, George Washington University School of Medicine, 2020

Pay for Play (phrase): 1. Accusations made by Donald Trump against Hillary Clinton for alleged deals with foreign governments through donations to the Clinton Foundation;
2. Crimes which Trump’s former national security adviser, Michael Flynn, was convicted of being involved in, with Russian and Turkish contacts;
3. Constitutional violations that Trump may be at fault for, when it comes to Saudi and other foreign officials who book overpriced events and stays at Trump owned resorts and properties to gain access to him in order to influence his policies;
4. How Donald Trump selects people for posts within his administration;
5. How Doug Manchester almost became ambassador to the Bahamas after donating five hundred thousand dollars to the Trump campaign;
6. The only way celebrities ever agree to play golf with Trump.
See also: Emoluments Clause

“Government posts are not for sale to rich people. We should pick our ambassadors and heads of agencies and people who are going to help lead this government overseas based on their qualifications not based on a check that they write for a half million dollars. Donald Trump should be told in no uncertain terms: Stop selling government posts.” -Elizabeth Warren, 2019

Peach Mint (pun): 1. Donald Trump’s least favorite ice cream;
2. The reason Trump screams… a lot.

“WITCH HUNT!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted December 2019

Pee Pee Tape (noun): 1. The alleged sex tape of Donald Trump asking Russian prostitutes to pee on a bed that Barack Obama once slept in;
2. Tape possibly obtained by Russian Intelligence and Vladimir Putin to use as blackmail material against Trump during his candidacy for president;
3. Kompromat.
See also: Steele Dossier

“He brought up what he called the ‘golden showers thing’… He just rolled on, unprompted, explaining why it couldn’t possibly be true, ending by saying he was thinking of asking me to investigate the allegation to prove it was a lie.” -James Comey, A Higher Loyalty, 2018

Peepers, Mr. (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Rod Rosenstein, former deputy attorney general under Jeff Session and Trump;
2. Man who, in 2017, appointed Robert Mueller as special counsel to investigate any collusion between the Russian government and the Trump Campaign;
3. An obscure reference to a 1950’s sitcom called Mister Peepers about a meek man living in a small American town, who admittedly looks a lot like Rod Rosenstein;
4. Further proof that Trump is a TV addict and is able to mine obscure television pop culture for comparisons to contemporary figures, even if most of the population is too young to understand.

“The Washington Post said I refer to Jeff Sessions as “Mr. Magoo” and Rod Rosenstein as “Mr. Peepers.” This is “according to people with whom the president has spoken.” There are no such people and don’t know these characters…just more Fake & Disgusting News to create ill will!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted April 2018

Pence, Mike (noun): 1. Vice President under Donald Trump, and former governor of Indiana;
2. Believer and advocate of religious gay-conversion therapy;
3. Someone who cannot be in a room with another woman without asking permission of his wife, whom he calls, “mother;”
4. Ardent defender of Trump, a man who represents everything that is antithetical to his religious ideals;
5. Someone that Trump no longer wants to be friends with;
6. Someone who a lot of Trump supporters really wanted to “hang” with on January 6, 2021.

“You don’t understand Mike. You can [refuse to certify the 2020 election results]. I don’t want to be your friend anymore if you don’t do this.” -Donald Trump, 2021

Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV (nouns): 1. A remembered sequence of nouns given on a cognitive dementia examination;
2. Proof of qualification offered by Mr. Trump for holding the highest office in the land;
3. Proof that Donald Trump can only think of things that are directly in front of him during a TV interview;
4. Hit EDM song of the summer of 2020.

“Person, woman, man, camera, tv… If you get it in order you get extra points” -Donald J. Trump, 2020

Photo Op (noun): 1. Shortened form of “photo opportunity,” usually referring to a chance for someone to be visible in a flattering picture;
2. The time Donald Trump gassed peaceful protestors in front of a church to take a photograph holding a Bible;
3. The time Trump shoved the prime minister of Montenegro out of the way so he could be in the front of a photo;
4. The time Trump does anything when he thinks people are watching.
See also: Prop

“Montenegro is a tiny country with very strong people … They’re very aggressive people. They may get aggressive, and congratulations, you’re in world war three.” Donald Trump, 2018

Pink P*ssyhat (noun): 1. A pink hat, usually made of knitted yarn, that resembles a woman’s vagina, it is often worn on the head to show solidarity with feminist ideals;
2. Clothing item first debuted at the 2017 Women’s March in Washington DC, that took place the day after Donald Trump’s inauguration and was the largest single-day protest in American history;
3. Pink hat which became the icon of the movement and the anti-MAGA hat for many people who opposed Trump, a person many considered to be anti-woman and anti-feminist, especially after the release of the Access Hollywood tape;
4. Another name for Donald Trump’s toupee.

“It’s been a heart-rending time to be both a woman and an immigrant in this country. Our dignity, our character, our rights have all been under attack, and a platform of hate and division assumed power yesterday. But the President is not America. His cabinet is not America. Congress is not America. We are America, and we are here to stay.” -America Ferrera, Women’s March, 2017

Pivittible (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for pivotal;
2. Serious disease often contracted by a lack of intelligence to the brain and with symptoms that include opening and closing one’s mouth without anything intelligible to say.

“…made a pivittible, really, and I mean this was pivotal…” -Donald Trump, 2019

Pivot (verb): 1. The act of turning away from one place or topic very quickly;
2. Tactic used by Donald Trump in regards to his moods, policies, and speeches;
3. How Trump often switched from acting Presidential to acting like his usual persona within a matter of hours.
See also: Unpresidented

“I can do [act presidential]. You know what, I’m like a really smart person. Like a lot of you people. Presidential is easy… Ladies and gentlemen of Waterbury, it’s a great honor to be with you this morning… Although most presidents don’t work in the morning, you know that, right?” No, it’s very easy to be presidential.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Plosma (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for plasma
2. A class-2 free floating specter with ectoplasmic prehensile extensions.

“I’m delighted to be here to discuss the remarkable progress being made in the development of plosma. Plaasma. So important. Therapies.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Pocahontas (noun): 1. Native American woman who was married/ abducted by John Wolfe in the 1600’s and taken to England;
2. Nickname given to Elizabeth Warren by Donald Trump, in reference to Warren telling a family anecdote that her mother was part Cherokee and part Delaware, and the false idea that she used this information to further her career;
3. A DNA test revealed that Warren did in fact have Native American ancestors in a range of 6 to 10 generations previous to herself;
4. Warren is a staunch democratic socialist and former Democratic primary candidate for president who believes and fights for measures of social and economic change that benefit lower income families;
5. A Disney movie that hasn’t aged well.

“Let’s say I’m debating Pocahontas, right? I promise you I’ll do this. I will take, you know those little kits they sell on television for $2. Learn your heritage. And we will say, I will give you a million dollars to your favorite charity, paid for by Trump, if you take the test so that it shows you’re an Indian.” -Donald Trump, (who did not pay out his bet) 2018

Political Correctness (noun): 1. The consideration of one’s expression as it is perceived and received to exclude or insult marginalized groups or people who are socially disadvantaged or discriminated against;
2. A dirty word among conservatives and Trump supporters, often shortened to being “PC;”
3. Something Trump has sworn to combat, and take the country back from;
4. Ideas that are absolutely killing America, where people are not allowed to say anything racist anymore.
Similar to: “trigger warnings,” safe spaces,” and “critical race theory.”

“We are determined to take our country back. We are going to fulfill the promises of Donald Trump. That’s what we believed in. That’s why we voted for Donald Trump, because he said he’s going to take our country back.” -David Duke, former KKK grand wizard, 2017

Political Tourettes (#PTS) (noun): 1. Disorder of the brain that end one’s ability to understand political logic;
2. Rare condition with which Donald Trump has been diagnosed, being the first known case of the disease on the American Continent in almost 250 years.

“To be blunt, people would vote for me. They just would. Why? Maybe because I’m so good looking.” -Donald Trump, 1999

Polls (plural noun): 1. A tally of aggregated information sourced from questions asked to a random sampling of average people;
2. Data relied upon by Donald Trump during the presidential campaign when the results were in his favor;
3. Data rejected by Donald Trump during the presidential campaign when the results were in favor of an opponent;
See also: Fake Polls

“Polls are fake, just like everything else…. They just came out with a poll, the most popular person in the history of the Republican Party is Trump! Can you believe that?” -Donald Trump, 2016

Presidential (adjective): 1. The manner befitting a president;
2. Something that is easy and anyone can do;
3. A manner you take on by doing an odd strut across a stage while sticking out your chin;
4. Something that the media has occasionally said of Donald Trump is acting like after he finishes a rehearsed speech where he pronounced all the words correctly.
See also: Unpresidented

“I can do it. You know what, I’m like a really smart person. Like a lot of you people. Presidential is easy.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Priebus, Reince (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s first chief of staff and former chairman of the Republican National Committee;
2. A man who spent every waking moment trying to clean up and figure out what Trump was doing at the beginning of his Presidency;
3. The Latin term for a small sucking parasite that often latches onto a larger parasite till it dies of embarrassment.

“You have to remember: the president was the Trump campaign. The R.N.C. was the organization, but he accomplished almost everything in his life by himself. The idea that he was suddenly going to accept an immediate and elaborate staff structure regulating every minute of his life was never in the cards.” -Reince Preibus, 2018

Primary Election (noun): 1. An election that takes place in each major party that allows members of the Democrats and Republicans to narrow down their ultimate choice for their respective presidential nominees;
2. A process that was completely dominated by Donald Trump in 2016 and 2020, where he edged out of absolutely humiliated more established Republican candidates and in the process changed the face and tenor of the Republican party;
Not to be confused with a “primate election,” which is where a bunch of conservative baboons elect the ape who has the smallest hands.

“Last week we won every single category. We won rich, poor, fat, thin, tall, short. We won women, we won men. We won highly educated, we won smart, smart, smart people that don’t have the big education.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Prop (noun): 1. A false item often staged for television or for a photo opportunity;
2. Obviously blank papers that were often seen on Trump’s desk, or that he was often photographed in the Oval Office to show that he was “working;”
3. Obviously empty folders that he showed in order to convince people he was giving control of his business to his sons;
4. Other props used by trump include: A Bible, a mask, the military, and one very obviously large blank binder with one page titled, “America First Healthcare Plan;”
5. Donald Trump’s family.

“Let me be clear, the president just used a Bible, the most sacred text of the Judeo-Christian tradition, and one of the churches of my diocese, without permission, as a backdrop for a message antithetical to the teachings of Jesus.” Rev. Mariann Buddle, 2020

Protectored (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for protected;
2. The evil organization that rules the world in Kellyanne Conway’s young adult novel series.

“Patriotic citizens who want their families protectored…” -Donald Trump, 2019

Psycho Joe (noun): 1. Joe Scarborough is a commentator on MSNBC, former Republican congressman from Florida, and former friend of Donald Trump;
2. Outspoken critic of Trump, who is almost gleeful when pointing out his former friend’s crazy behaviors;
3. Subject of a conspiracy theory pushed by Trump suggesting that Scarborough had committed murder of a former staffer in 2001, who had died of an undiagnosed heart condition;
4. A DC area restaurant where you can order “crazy fries” and “insane onion rings.”

“When will they open a Cold Case on the Psycho Joe Scarborough matter in Florida. Did he get away with murder? Some people think so. Why did he leave Congress so quietly and quickly? Isn’t it obvious? What’s happening now? A total nut job!” Donald Trump, Tweeted May 2020

Punchy (adjective): 1. Trump’s nickname for Robert De Niro, Academy Award winning actor, producer, and writer;
2. Staunch Trump critic and target of a 2018 assassination plot by an alleged Trump supporter;
3. Reference made to De Niro wanting to punch Trump in the face because Trump claimed he wanted to punch protestors in the face;
Not to be confused with: Paunchy, which is a nickname given to Trump by small children who point and laugh at his body.

“I’m gonna say one thing. F*ck Trump. It’s no longer ‘down with Trump’. It’s ‘f*ck Trump’.” -Robert De Niro, Tony Awards, 2018

Pundit (noun): 1. Political commentator who makes money by dissecting the daily news and stirring up feelings from the audience about;
2. People you either love or hate depending on what side of the political spectrum you are both on;
3. Career field most prevalent on cable news networks such as CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News;
4. Name given to a bandit that steals other people’s puns.

“Congratulations to @FoxNews for being number one in inauguration ratings. They were many times higher than FAKE NEWS @CNN – public is smart!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted January 2017

Putin’s B*tch (noun): 1. Nickname given to Donald Trump by Pacifica Radio journalist, Ian Masters;
2. Name given during one of Masters’ background briefing in a discussion about Trump’s ties to Putin and Russia;
3. The name of Putin’s orange furred dog that follows his commands and pees on the bed.
See also: Vladimir Putin

“Getting along with Russia is a good thing, not a bad thing. I got along great with President Putin, I liked him, he liked me. That’s a good thing, not a bad thing.” -Donald Trump, 2021

Putin’s Puppet (noun): 1. Reference to how Vladimir Putin, an ex-KGB operative, often maneuvered and handled Donald Trump through flattery or provocation to act as he wished;
2. Reference to how Trump often spoke very highly of Putin, even once defending the authoritarian Russian ruler by claiming that the United States also did many bad things;
3. Reference to possible Russian collusion, both overt and incidental that took place between the 2016 Trump Campaign and Russian contacts;
4. The scariest wooden puppet ever carved in a Northern Siberian gulag.
See also: Steele Dossier

“There are a lot of killers. You think our country’s so innocent?” -Donald Trump, when asked if he could respect a killer like Putin, 2017

Putin, Vladimir (noun): 1. Russian President and de facto dictator of the country;
2. Former KGB agent who has ambitions of creating a new Russian empire;
3. Person in possession of possible Kompromat of Donald Trump, and who orchestrated a Russian hacking campaign to get Trump into a place of power;
4. Someone that Trump thinks very highly of and admires very much;
5. World leader who often employed attractive translators to distract Trump during negotiations;
6. Bond villain who most definitely owns a skull shaped volcano island.
See also: Russia

“The man has very strong control over a country. Now, it’s a very different system and I don’t happen to like the system, but certainly in that system, he’s been a leader. Far more than [President Obama] has been a leader.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Qanon (noun): 1. Conspiracy theory that claims that Donald Trump will save the world from a cabal of powerful Satan-worshipping pedophiles by convening secret courts and carrying out arrests, all relayed to believers by a shadowy figure known as “Q” and posted on an online forum on the website called, 8-chan;
2. No… seriously.

“I’ve heard [QAnon] are people that love our country… So, I don’t know really anything about it other than they do supposedly like me.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Queen Elizabeth (noun): 1. Queen Elizabeth II of England ascended the throne in 1936 and has been the United Kingdom’s longest reigning ruler;
2. Woman who hosted a state dinner for the Trump family upon their official visit to England in 2019;
3. Monarch who possibly “trolled” Trump by presenting him with a book written by a noted anti-fascist, a possibly cursed tiara that was meant to ward off evil, and a speech that underscored the importance of international alliances;
4. Ruler that Trump insulted by walking in front and one he possibly kept waiting in the heat;
5. The only person Trump has ever met who lives in a gaudier tower than he does.

“I had such a great relationship, and we were laughing, and having fun. Her people told me she hasn’t had so much fun in 25 years. Then I got criticized for it, because they said we were having too much fun. It doesn’t matter, but we had a great relationship, and I had a great relationship with Charles, and honestly I have a very good relationship with a lot of the foreign leaders.” -Donald Trump, Women’s March, 2019

Quid Pro Quo (phrase): 1. Latin phrase that literally translates as “what for what;”
2. Colloquial phrase understood to mean a transfer of favors;
3. Said another way by Donald Trump, “I want you to do us a favor, though,” on a call with the president of Ukraine, where he implied that he would hold back desperately-needed military aid from the country in exchange for their announcing an investigation into his political rival, Joe Biden and his son Hunter;
4. Reason why Trump was impeached the first time;
5. What Trump thinks the #4 is called at most sushi restaurants.
See also: Impeachment #1

“I want nothing. I want nothing. I want no quid pro quo. Tell Zellinsky to do the right thing. This is the final word from the Pres of the U.S.” -Words scrawled in giant marker on Air Force One letterhead, 2019

Quite Frankly/Frankly (phrase): 1. Common phrase meant to imply a frank truth that is better left unsaid;
2. Phrase uttered by Donald Trump during interviews;
3. Verbal tell that what Trump is about to say is not at all frank, and much more likely, a lie.

“We were getting ready to win this election. Frankly, we did win this election. This is a major fraud on our nation. We want the law to be used in a proper manner. So, we’ll be going to the U.S. Supreme Court. We want all voting to stop.” -Donald Trump, 2020

RINO (abbreviaion): 1. Acronym for Republican in Name Only;
2. Originally meant to be applied to someone who was only using the GOP for their own personal gain without believing in the core ideals, such as Donald Trump;
3. Acronym whose meaning has flipped to be applied to any Republican who does not support Trump or the cult of MAGA that surrounds him;
4. People who are being slowly and forcefully pushed out of the Republican party in favor of Trump supported candidates, QAnon believers, and extremists;
5. A big lumbering animal that is slow to adapt to change and has a relatively small brain.

“Wonderful to see Colin Powell, who made big mistakes on Iraq and famously, so-called weapons of mass destruction, be treated in death so beautifully by the Fake News Media. Hope that happens to me someday. He was a classic RINO, if even that, always being the first to attack other Republicans. He made plenty of mistakes, but anyway, may he rest in peace!” -Donald Trump, speaking about Colin Powell’s death, 2021

Racist Babies (plural noun): 1. Question from Senator Ted Cruz to Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson at her confirmation hearing about whether or not she believed that babies were racist;
2. Actual question put to an actual Supreme Court nominee by an actual senator;
3. Reference to the children’s book, Antiracist Baby, by Dr. Ibrim X. Kendi, which Ted Cruz did not read because then he would have understood that the book, which teaches that racism is something that has to be taught, and is not inherent to the human condition;
4. Question that elicited a long pause by Ketanji Brown Jackson, over which she most likely contemplated her years of law school, her serious work as an attorney and judge, her many qualifications and awards, and wondered how she found herself faced with a man waving a children’s book at her and asking if she believed in racist babies;
5. “Racist Baby” is also a reference to Ted Cruz’s nickname in the Senate.

“Do you agree with this book that is being taught to kids that babies are racist?” -Ted Cruz, 2022

Radical Left Democrats (plural noun): 1. Nickname Donald Trump applies to any Democratic politician or any person who opposes what he says;
2. Name meant to scare moderate Americans into believing that the Democratic party is one cup of borsch away from Soviet-style communism;
3. Translation: Democrats who believe in a fair wage, fair laws governing healthcare; tax support for middle- and low-income families, and fair elections laws.

“I’m not just running against Biden, Sleepy Joe, I’m running against the corrupt media, the big tech giants, the Washington swamp. And the Democrat Party is a part of all of them, every single one of them. They flood your communities with criminal aliens, drugs and crime, while they live behind beautiful gated compounds.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Ramp (noun): 1. A slight incline either leading up or down that allows gradual access to a raised position;
2. Donald Trump’s worst nightmare.

“And he led me to a ramp that was long and steep and slippery. And I said, I got a problem because I wear, you know, the leather bottom shoes. I can show them to you if you like. Same pair. And you know what I mean, they’re slippery. I like them better than the rubber because they don’t catch. So, they’re better for this. But they’re not good for ramps. I said, General, I got a problem here. That ramp is slippery…. So, I’m going to go real easy. So, I did. And then the last 10 feet I ran down. They always stop it just before I ran, they always stop it. So, I spent three hours between speeches and saluting people and they end up, all they talked about is ramp… I stayed there for hours. And what do I do? I get publicity about walking down a ramp. And does he have Parkinson’s? I don’t think so.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Ratings (plural noun): 1. Metric often used to judge the popularity of a TV show or event;
2. Metric that Donald Trump is obsessed with using to justify his popularity as president and the unpopularity of others, such as political rivals and TV personalities;
3. Something Trump once unsuccessful mocked Arnold Schwarzenegger about;
4. Actual approval ratings of the Trump presidency averaged at 41% and never once got above 50%.

“Because the ‘Ratings’ of my News Conferences etc. are so high, ‘Bachelor finale, Monday Night Football type numbers’ according to the @nytimes, the Lamestream Media is going CRAZY. ‘Trump is reaching too many people, we must stop him.’ said one lunatic. See you at 5:00 P.M.!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted March 2020

Raydoh (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for radio;
2. A red-nosed reindeer who tragically took his life in a cyber-bullying incident, when he wasn’t allowed to join in any reindeer games.

“And we used to have raydoh for your, like, I think radio.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Remdesavoir (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for Remdesivir;
2. Medicine given to Donald Trump in order to treat him when he contracted COVID-19;
3. Savior of the Remde Cult, which currently consists of three people and four goats in the Colorado Desert.

“I want everybody to be given the same treatment as your president. I feel great. I feel perfect.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Resaption (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for reception;
Not to be confused with: Jedediah Resaption, creator of the hand-crank ear cleaner.

“…at a resaption for the Italian…” -Donald Trump, 2019

Resistance, The (noun): 1. A liberal political movement that arose to oppose Donald Trump starting January of 2017 and later expanded to include Democrats and former Republicans;
2. A collective group of counter-Twitter profiles that arose from different governmental agencies that had been officially gagged by the Trump White House, such as @AltNatParkService, @RogueNASA, @ungaggedEPA, and more;
3. Something that is more entertaining than anything written by JJ Abrams.
See also: Deep State

“There is a quiet resistance within the administration of people choosing to put country first. But the real difference will be made by everyday citizens rising above politics, reaching across the aisle and resolving to shed the labels in favor of a single one: Americans.” -Anonymous, New York Times Op-Ed, 2018

Retrumplican Party (noun): 1. Rebranding of the Republican Party by Democrats and liberals as the former GOP bends its will and bets its future on Donald Trump, even after his election loss in 2020;
2. Political party that no longer adheres to traditional conservative values, such as fiscal responsibility, family values, and small government, but instead follow whatever value Trump tells them they should have;
3. Political party whose only path to election victory is restricting voting rights, promoting racism and fear, and being a party of obstructionists against any legislation put form by the Democrats;
4. A very boring dinner party hosted at Mar-a-lago that has less racial diversity than a bowl of white tic tacs.
See also: Trumpism

“If a prerequisite for leading [the Republican conference] is continuing to lie to our voters, then Liz [Cheney] is not the best fit. Liz isn’t going to lie to people. Liz is going to say what she believes. She’s going to stand on principle. And if that’s going to be distracting for folks, she’s not the best fit. I wish that weren’t the case.” -Rep. Anthony Gonzalez, Republican, 2021

Revolutionary War (noun): 1. Colloquial name for the War of American Independence fought between the American Colonies and the British, that resulted in the establishment of the United States;
2. A war that was fought in 1775 and could not have been won without the Continental Army taking over the British airports.

“The Continental Army suffered a bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware and seized victory from Cornwallis of Yorktown. Our army manned the [unclear]. It rammed the ramparts. It took over the airports. It did everything it had to do.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Rigged System (noun): 1. Any system, whether it be politics, business, sports, etc., that is fixed in a deceitful and dishonest way, so as to assure the desired outcome for one party;
2. Term Donald Trump frequently called the 2016 presidential election in spite of winning;
3. Term Donald Trump frequently called the 2020 presidential election, because he lost;
4. Term used by Trump to explain why most Americans have gained so little over the decades and how he would change it;
5. The way in which Trump manipulated the system for his own benefit as opposed to the benefit of the people who voted for him
See also: Total Sham

“You’ve been hearing me say it’s a rigged system. But now I don’t say it anymore because I won. Okay? It’s true. You know, now I don’t care.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Right-Wing (noun): 1. Traditional political nomenclature used to describe conservative politicians and ideas;
2. Allusion taken from the historic fact that conservatives once sat to the right of the presiding officer in the Estates General during the French Revolution;
3. Political class that has grown more extreme during the Trump Presidency and years after, resorting to tactics of voter suppression and gerrymandering to keep control, despite representing less American citizens and having policy ideas that are less popular with the general public;
4. Piece of chicken, which Donald Trump eats while being held in his right hand.

“You have to love your country like an adult loves somebody, not like a child loves its mommy. And right-wing Republicans tend to love America like a child loves its mommy, where everything Mommy does is okay. But adult love means you’re not in denial, and you want the loved one to be the best they can be.” -Al Franken, Lies & the Lying Liars Who Tell Them, 2004

Roe V. Wade (ruling): 1. Landmark Supreme Court Decision in 1973 that gave women the right to have control over their bodies and seek an abortion without fear of criminal repercussions;
2. Court decision, which conservatives have been battling to overturn with single-minded focus for almost fifty years;
3. Reason why Mitch McConnel blocked the appointment of Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court, and allowed Donald Trump to nominate three conservative justices, Kavanaugh, Gorsuch, and Barrett, during his pregnancy, each with proven and known biases against Roe V. Wade;
4. Top justification every Republican has used for tolerating, aiding, and allowing Trump to behave as he has done, as his presidency was a culmination of fifty years of concerted efforts to pack courts with religious conservative judges, stonewall progressive nominees and debate, and bend/break every rule that was possible in order to chip away at women’s abortion rights since the 1970’s;
5. Continuing proof that conservatives care more about children while they are unborn, than about them once they exit the womb.
See also: Supreme Court

“Roe was egregiously wrong from the start. Its reasoning was exceptionally weak, and the decision has had damaging consequences. And far from bringing about a national settlement of the abortion issue, Roe and Casey have enflamed debate and deepened division.” -Justice Samuel Alito, 2022

Romney, Mitt (noun): 1. Former governor of Massachusetts, Republican presidential candidate, and senator from Utah, Romney was not a supporter of Donald Trump, and was often at odds with him over his tone and rhetoric;
2. Man who Trump invited out to dinner to take embarrassing photos of, and ultimately failed to give the position of Secretary of State to;
3. Only Senate Republican to vote to convict Trump on the charges of obstruction during his first impeachment trial;
4. Man who regularly gets booed at Republican fundraisers.

“Think of Donald Trump’s personal qualities. The bullying, the greed, the showing off, the misogyny, the absurd third-grade theatrics. Now, imagine your children and your grandchildren acting the way he does.” -Mitt Romney, 2016

Routers, The (plural noun): 1. Technological device that connects two or more networks or subnetworks;
2. Devices that Donald Trump and his followers believe hold the evidence of election fraud in Maricopa County, Arizona, and which Trump repeatedly called to be handed over to the 2020 election “audit” committee in Arizona;
3. Devices that cannot be turned over to the firm, Cyber Ninjas, or any other outside organization because they contain the health records, social security numbers, and other sensitive material for all the citizens of Maricopa County;
4. Another lie that Trump is using to dangle in front of his supporters as a reason for why he lost the election, and as “proof” that it was stolen;
5. Devices that have nothing to do with election results, as the vote tabulation machines were never connected to the Internet and thus would never have once interacted with the routers.

“The county has, for whatever reason, also refused to produce the network routers. We want the routers, Sonny, Wendy, we got to get those routers, please. The routers. Come on, Kelly, we can get those routers. Those routers. You know what? We’re so beyond the routers, there’s so many fraudulent votes without the routers. But if you got those routers, what that will show, and they don’t want to give up the routers. They don’t want to give them. They are fighting like hell. Why are these commissioners fighting not to give the routers?” -Donald Trump, 2021

Rule by Spectacle (verb): 1. Description of the governing style of Donald Trump, by the author and historian, Timothy Snyder;
2. Coined during a discussion about the Mueller Investigation in 2018;
3. The way in which a ringmaster keeps order within a circus and keeps the crowd mystified as to how it is all done.

“Trump is to deny that there’s any such thing as fact to make everything a matter of opinion and then to rule by a spectacle, so that’s one way of looking at the world…” -Timothy Snyder, 2018

Russia (noun): 1. Largest country in the world that spans from Eastern Europe to Northern Asia, and extends across eleven time zones and borders sixteen sovereign nations;
2. Colloquial term for the Russian Federation, which is the government that arose after the fall of the Soviet Union, and since its inception has become a failed democratic state that is now led by a de facto authoritarian dictator, a super-rich oligarchic class, and state-run news media;
3. Country where Donald Trump was trying to build “Trump Tower Moscow,” before and during the 2016 presidential election, and who very possibly used that as leverage over the candidate to get access to classified information;
4. Nation responsible for hacking and manipulating the 106 US elections in favor of Trump;
5. Country where Trump and his sons have deep ties to criminal organizations that stretch back more than three decades, which may have possibly included funding and loans to the Trump Organization;
6. Country where Trump once, allegedly, watched prostitutes pee on a bed.
See also: Vladimir Putin

“Well, we don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia. Oh, yeah. We’ve got some guys that really, really love golf, and they’re really invested in our programs. We just go there all the time.” -Eric Trump, 2014

Sacrifice (verb): 1. The act of giving part or all of yourself to a cause or country;
2. An act committed by all US servicemembers, and especially by those soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines who died in the line of duty, and their Gold Star families;
3. Act committed by the Khan family, whose son died while serving in Iraq in the US military, and yet the family was openly mocked by Donald Trump;
4. A selfless act that has never been committed by Trump.
See also: Bone Spurs

“I think I’ve made a lot of sacrifices. I work very, very hard. I’ve created thousands and thousands of jobs, tens of thousands of jobs, built great structures. I’ve had tremendous success. I think I’ve done a lot.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Sad (noun/verb/adjective/exclamation): 1. Feeling or showing sorrow and/or unhappiness;
2. State of being pathetically inadequate;
3. Donald Trump’s favorite word;
4. Accurate description of how the majority of Americans felt on November 9, 2016.

“The @TheView @ABC, once great when headed by @BarbaraJWalters, is now in a total freefall. Whoopi Goldberg is terrible. Very Sad!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted January 2016

Salad Dressing (noun): 1. Creamy or oily substance placed on the top of salad to flavor it, or dress it;
2. Conspiracy claim reported by Michael Flynn that the government is putting COVID vaccines into salad dressings;
3. Possible misunderstanding of a report that research has been done into growing mRNA vaccines in edible plants like lettuce;
4. Something that Donald Trump does not regularly eat, but not because he fears getting an unwanted vaccine.

“Somebody sent me a thing this morning where they’re talking about putting the vaccine into salad dressing, or salads,” said the ex-Trump official. “I’m thinking to myself, this is the Bizarro World, right?” -Michael Flynn, 2022

Sanctuary City (noun): 1. City, county, or state that opposes policies of prolonged detention of suspect immigration law violations in state or local custody, most commonly done because allowing ICE to detain local immigrants reduces cooperation among that community and local officials and breeds areas where crimes go unreported;
2. Locations include: Philadelphia, Seattle, Chicago, California, New Jersey, New York, Washington, and more;
3. Cities and areas that are usually filled with Democratic-minded voters, and are more likely to refuse to pretend that he is a god-king.
4. Mystical city trope that exists in every zombie apocalypse movie where the survivors believe it is going to be better, but usually turns out to be false hope.
See also: Immigration and Customs Enforcement

“Due to the fact that Democrats are unwilling to change our very dangerous immigration laws, we are indeed, as reported, giving strong considerations to placing Illegal Immigrants in Sanctuary Cities only, The Radical Left always seems to have an Open Borders, Open Arms policy – so this should make them very happy!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted April 2019

Says Who? (inquiry): 1. Repeated reply given by then-Trump advisor Michael Cohen to questions by CNN’s Brianna Keilar during a 2016 interview about Trump’s poll numbers being down;
2. Phrase which resulted in the “#sayswho” meme that went viral on the internet;
3. Something you would expect a badly stereotyped gangster to say in a low budget Scorsese-knock-off.

“You know, growing up in New York and doing business in New York, I would say there might have been one of those characters along the way, but generally speaking I like to stay away from that group. I have met on occasion a few of those people. They happen to be very nice people.” -Donald Trump, 2013

Scampaign (noun): 1. False campaign that’s mainly about self-enrichment rather than winning;
2. Accusation launched at Donald Trump, by Republican strategist Rick Wilson after Trump claimed that he would forgive the fifty million he had loaned his own campaign to national campaign, but never did;
3. The idea that Trump was not actually running for president but promoting his own brand, and just so happened to win;
Similar to: “Scam Pain,” which is a scam run by a president where the American people then feel the pain

“The Party of Lincoln is now the Party of Trump, a weak, cowardly, amoral, and faithless husk of a once-great party of ideas and leadership. They’ll follow him into a political graveyard, red hats, tawdry nationalism, dumb policies, cruel tweets, and all. Their cult-like obedience to him has consumed their honor, and their souls.” -Rick Wilson, Running Against the Devil, 2020

Scaramucci, Anthony (noun): 1. Former director of White House communications under Donald Trump, who only held the office for ten days before being fired;
2. The Mooch.
See also: A Mooch

“Now you would find [Trump] to be more brittle, defensive and self-exclamatory where he’s just launching into these run-on long sentences. He’s having a conversation with himself and it’s a rationalization of who he is and what he’s doing and he’s trying to explain to everybody that he knows it all, he’s got it all figured out, and that’s a great tragedy in itself because nobody has it all figured out.” -Anthony Scaramucci, 2020

Scotch Tape (noun): 1. Clear plastic adhesive manufactured specifically by the 3M company that is most often used to tape together paper and other lightweight material;
2. Adhesive tape that is used by employees of the National Archives who have to tape together ripped up papers and memos from the Trump White House in order to preserve them in accordance with the Presidential Records Act;
3. Tool needed due to the fact that Donald Trump reflexively rips up his letters into tiny pieces, similar to a way a criminal might try to destroy evidence of a paper trail;
4. Trump’s habit of ripping up official papers was so prevalent that putting them back together like “jigsaw puzzles” consumed the work of the entire office of the National Archives during the four-year Trump Administration.

“We got Scotch tape, the clear kind. You found pieces and taped them back together and then you gave it back to the supervisor… I had a letter from Schumer, he tore it up. It was the craziest thing ever. He ripped papers into tiny pieces.” -Solomon Lartey, National Archives, 2018

Secret Service (noun): 1. Law enforcement agency tasked with protecting the President of the United States and other high-level officials and their family members;
2. Agency that under Trump was overcharged at Trump properties, including food, room, and golf cart rentals, costing the taxpayers millions of dollars and directly lining Trump’s pocket;
3. Agency with agents who ended up dating Donald Trump Jr’s ex-wife, Vanessa, and Trump’s daughter Tiffany;
4. Agency with agents who were routinely dismissed from the president’s service for being labeled as overweight or too short for the detail;
5. Another name for what Stormy Daniels offered to Donald Trump.

“I want these fat guys off my detail. How are they going to protect me and my family if they can’t run down the street?” -Donald Trump, 2021

Secret Service Said I Couldn’t Go (lie): 1. Excuse given by Donald Trump as to why he did not join his supporters in marching down to the Capitol building and leading the demonstration/riot on January 6th;
2. Excuse given by Trump to Eric as to why he couldn’t come to any of his softball games.

“Secret Service said I couldn’t go. I would have gone there in a minute.” -Donald Trump, 2022

Seventy-Thousand-Dollar Pompadour (noun): 1. A noted tax write-off by Donald Trump, where he claimed seventy thousand dollars’ worth of deductions for hair expenses;
2. Something that is illegal, according to tax experts;
3. One of the many tactics used by Trump which has allowed him to avoid paying zero federal income taxes for ten out of the past fifteen years, including while he was president;
4. How much money King Louis XV paid to keep his affair with Jeanne-Antoinette Poisson a secret. (She was the Marquise de Pompadour… It’s a deep-cut history joke)
See also: Tax Return

“There’s no way he could have legitimately deducted hair expenses, whether reimbursed or not.” -Schuyler M. Moore, tax expert with Greenberg Glusker, 2020

Sh*thole Countries (plural noun): 1. Countries that Donald Trump considers to be unclean and full of drugs and crime;
2. Countries that are not majorly white or European;
3. Clear evidence that Trump is a racist.

“Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?” Trump said, according to these people, referring to [Haiti and African] countries mentioned by the lawmakers. Trump then suggested that the United States should instead bring more people from countries such as Norway.” -Josh Dawsey, Washington Post, 2018

She Gets Rich While Making You Poor (phrase): 1. Phrase uttered by Donald Trump about Hillary Clinton;
2. Phrase uttered by an exploitative conman who pays no taxes, without any hint of irony.

“[Hillary Clinton] thinks it’s all about her. I know it’s all about you. She gets rich while making you poor.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Shifty Schiff (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Adam Schiff, lawyer and Democratic congressman from California who led up the House of Representatives first impeachment against Trump;”
2. A “corrupt politician, and probably a very sick man;”
3. Someone who received multiple death threats from Trump supporters, and whose head would “be on a pike;”
4. Dance craze that is most often done in choreographed lines at weddings.
See also: Impeachment #1

“We must say enough. Enough! He has betrayed our national security, and he will do so again. He has compromised our elections, and he will do so again. You will not change him. You cannot constrain him. He is who he is. Truth matters little to him. What’s right matters even less, and decency matters not at all.” -Adam Schiff, closing impeachment arguments, 2020

Silverback Gorilla (noun): 1. Large gorilla in charge of a troop of other herbivore great apes found in tropical jungles, well known for their strength, intelligence, and their disbelief of the 2020 election results;
2. Comparison made by Nigel Farage of Donald Trump pacing and prowling on a 2016 debate stage with Hillary Clinton;
3. Comparison made by one of the leading UKip and Brexit leaders in England, who said Trump dominated Hillary, and if anyone would know about longing for domination it would be the conservative English party.

“He looked like a big gorilla prowling the set. He is that big alpha male – that’s who he is, that’s who he is. We all have comparisons to animals or whatever it may be, but that’s how he seems to me. The leader of the pack, that’s what he’s like.” -Donald Trump, 2022

Sir Charles (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Charles Goldstein, a real estate lawyer and holocaust advocate;
2. Sometimes competitor and sometimes friend of Trump’s in the real estate market, Trump once claimed that Goldstein was turning clients away from doing business with him;
3. Someone who should have given that warning to the Republican party.

“I’m pretty sure Charlie Goldstein is from the Bronx, but he’s a very pompous guy and has a tendency to act like royalty, so I call him Sir Charles.” -Donald Trump, Art of the Deal, 1987

Skittles (plural noun): 1. Colorful candy sold for the delight of children by the Mars candy company;
2. Seldom-used euphemism for Muslims or Middle Easterners;
3. Fear-mongering term that originated from a meme tweeted by Donald Trump Jr. depicting a bowl of Skittles along with a misleading caption;
4. Online meme that makes no real sense if you understand actual statistical probability;
5. Type of candy sold in both regular and tropical flavors… No one likes tropical flavors, they are like the Donald Trump Jr. of Skittles.
See also: Junior

“If I had a bowl of skittles [sic] and I told you just three would kill you, would you take a handful? That’s our Syrian refugee problem.” -Donald Trump Jr., 2016

Sleeping Pence (noun): 1. Reference to the large number of times Mike Pence always seemed to close his eyes during public meetings with Donald Trump;
2. Maneuver by Pence to avoid being noticed by Trump;
3. Natural defense mechanism deployed by the domesticated white-haired coward in times of extreme threat.

“If we don’t get what we want one way or another… I will shut down the government. I am proud to shut down the government for border security, Chuck. Because the people of this country don’t want criminals and people who have lots of problems — and drugs — pouring into our country. I will take the mantle. I will be the one to shut it down. I’m not going to blame you for it.” -Donald Trump, as Mike Pence slept in the background, 2018

Sleepy Ben Carson (noun): 1. Physician, former Republican primary presidential candidate, rival of Donald Trump, and former Secretary of Housing and Urban Development under Trump;
2. Nickname given by Trump, as Carson talks very slowly and has been known for falling asleep in meetings and multiple times behind the wheel;
3. Person who has forgotten his luggage in the car;
4. Candidate known for a volatile temper who once tried to stab someone;
5. The name Trump most often calls out when he sees an African American.

“Obamacare is worse than slavery. We live in a Gestapo age.” -Ben Carson, 2015

Sleepy Eyes (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Chuck Todd, journalist, Meet the Press moderator, and political director for NBC;
2. Admittedly not a popular moderator, especially on Twitter;
3. Possible allusion to a rarely known anti-Semitic trope that Nazi’s once labeled Jews as “sleepy eyed,” though it is unlikely that Trump has enough awareness or understanding of history to actually know this;
4. Description of Trump’s eyes whenever he received important briefings in the White House.

“@FCC THIS IS A DISGRACE, EVEN WORSE THAN @NBC USUALLY IS, WHICH IS REALLY BAD. SLEEPY EYES MUST BE FIRED!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted May 2020

Sleepy Joe (noun): 1. Joseph R. Biden is a former senator from Connecticut, former vice president under President Obama, and 46th president of the United States, who defeated Donald Trump in the 2020 election;
2. Known for verbal gaffes during speeches;
3. Friends with Barack Obama;
4. Left wing terrorist ANTIFA socialist who wants to “abolish police, abolish ICE, abolish bail, abolish suburbs, abolish the 2nd amendment, and abolish the American way of life;”
5. Name of a sandwich you can order on any Amtrak train.
See also: 2020

“Sleepy Joe Biden continues to bore voters because he has NO PERSONALITY while I hold very successful (HIGH ATTENDED!) rallies! Proof of MAGA VICTORY!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted October 2020

Slock Rocket (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for the stock market;
2. Donald Trump’s main indicator for success in all things, business, politics… his father’s approval.

“But the reason our stock market is so successful is because of me. I’ve always been great with money, I’ve always been great with jobs, that’s what I do. And I’ve done it well, I’ve done it really well, much better than people understand and they understand I’ve done well.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Sloppy Michael Moore (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Michael Moore, Academy Award winning documentarian, filmmaker, and left-wing provocateur;
2. Known for films such as Bowling for Columbine, Fahrenheit 9/11, and Sicko;
3. Toasted sandwich consisting of deli ham, muenster cheese, brown rice, banana peppers, guacamole, and alfredo sauce.

“While not at all presidential I must point out that the Sloppy Michael Moore Show on Broadway was a TOTAL BOMB and was forced to close. Sad!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted October 2017

Sloppy Steve (noun): 1. Nickname given by Donald Trump to Steve Bannon, a former chief strategist and senior counselor to Trump who helped craft some of Trump’s most heinous policies and speeches;
2. Person who is in favor of reduced immigration and right-wing nationalism, and Ayn Rand novels;
3. Man indicted by a federal grand jury for wire fraud and money laundering through his We Build the Wall fundraising campaign, and ultimately pardoned by Trump;
4. The worst selling GI Joe action figure ever produced by Mattel in 1990.

“Michael Wolff is a total loser who made up stories in order to sell this really boring and untruthful book. He used Sloppy Steve Bannon, who cried when he got fired and begged for his job. Now Sloppy Steve has been dumped like a dog by almost everyone. Too bad!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted January 2018

Slow-Motion Insurrection (noun): 1. Chilling reality that extreme right-wing Republicans are taking over state election officials and purging any members that do not believe that Donald Trump won the 2020 election, thus laying the groundwork for another run by Trump in 2024 and having a groundwork of sympathetic election committees that will believe him when he says that he won, regardless of the actual vote counts;
2. Reference to the purging of Republicans from the GOP that voted for Trump’s impeachment or do not support his election lies;
3. Groundwork being laid by pro-Trump state legislatures to make voting tougher for minorities and other typically democratic voting groups, as well as changing rules so that those pro-Trump legislators are in charge of certifying election results as opposed to non-partisan election officials;
4. Subpoenas, lawsuits, and other strongarm tactics being used against state election boards in order to intimidate members to quit or agree with Trump’s lie that the 2020 election was stolen;
5. Single scariest reason to be afraid of 2024.

“He’s like a shark who’s not gone but has quietly gone out to sea. But he’s been eating people this whole time, methodically purging the Republican party of anyone who voted for his impeachment or doesn’t agree he’s the rightful ruler of the Seven Kingdoms.” -Bill Maher, 2021

Smart (adjective): 1. Trumpspeak for “autocratic,” someone who rules their country without dissent or opposition;
2. Examples include: Kim Jong Un, Tayyip Erdogan, Xi Jinping, Vladimir Putin, and Donald Trump;
3. Word that only Trump thinks actually applies to himself.

“The smartest one gets to the top,” Trump told the crowd. “That didn’t work so well recently in our country. But they ask me, ‘Is Putin smart?’ Yes, Putin was smart.” -Donald Trump, 2022

Sneaky Dianne (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Dianne Feinstein, a democratic senator from California and former mayor of San Francisco;
2. Senator who released a full transcript of extensive congressional testimony over the Steele Dossier and Trump’s possible collusion with Russia;
3. During his presidency, Feinstein joined other democrats in calling for Trump to be removed from office, mostly due to minor things, like inciting a mob of his supporters to attack the Capitol building and try to start a coup.

“The fact that Sneaky Dianne Feinstein, who has on numerous occasions stated that collusion between Trump/Russia has not been found, would release testimony in such an underhanded and possibly illegal way, totally without authorization, is a disgrace. Must have tough Primary!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted January 2018

Sniffer, The (noun): 1. Nickname given to Donald Trump;
2. Reference to the more than fifty times Trump sniffed into the microphone during a 2016 presidential debate;
3. Nickname also given to Donald Trump Jr. after a night of partying in the Miami clubs.
See also: Sniffling

“We want to know what you are sniffing, that’s what we’d like to know. If I was you Donny [Trump Jr.], I’d stuff the word ‘sniffing’ back into the family thesaurus.” -Jimmy Kimmel, 2021

Sniffling (verb): 1. Audible wheezing intake of air through the nose or mouth;
2. The most constant noise that often accompanies Donald Trump speaking, typically heard at speeches or debates;
3. A sign of nervousness, first observed from Trump during debates with Hillary Clinton;
Not to be confused with “sniveling,” which is something that Trump also has a habit of doing.

“The mike was very bad, but maybe it was good enough to hear breathing.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Solar Eclipse (noun): 1. Event where the shadow of the moon passes in front of the light of the sun cast upon Earth;
2. Event that most children know not to stare directly at without proper safety glasses;
3. Event that Donald Trump once stared directly at, without proper safety glasses.

“Don’t Look!” -White House aides to Donald Trump, August 2017

Sour Lemon (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Don Lemon, journalist and CNN anchor;
2. New anchor and pundit that has been openly critical of Donald Trump, especially on matters of race and for Trump’s attacks on democracy and the media;
3. Lemon especially gets under the skin of Trump and Fox News for unknown reasons;
4. *Cough* Because he’s black. *Cough*

“I just wonder if we [the media] over-inflate it, if we give too much of a voice to it because Donald Trump right now is the Wizard of Oz. He’s the man behind the curtain, and he really doesn’t have any power… His power comes from us, that we keep promoting him and we keep talking about [what Trump says], sometimes we should probably ignore a lot of it.” -Don Lemon, 2021

Space Force (noun): 1. The news branch of the United States Armed Forces, created under Donald Trump;
2. Unnecessary idea that Trump had literally off the top of his head to distract from other scandals and then tasked Mike Pence with carrying out;
3. Mediocre show on Netflix;
4. Reboot of Star Trek, even worse than Into Darkness.

“’Maybe we need a new force. We’ll call it the Space Force.’ And I was not really serious. And then I said, ‘What a great idea. Maybe we’ll have to do that.’” -Donald Trump, 2018

Spicer, Sean (noun): 1. Original press secretary under Donald Trump who once claimed that Hitler never used chemical weapons, despite Hitler very much using chemical weapons;
2. Man known for hiding in the White House’s bushes;
3. Contestant on Dancing with the Stars;
4. Known for being a very poor liar, and a very poor dancer;
5. Worst liked character on Veggie Tales.

“I know that [Obama Press Secretary] Josh Earnest was voted the most popular press secretary by the press corps so after reading, checking my twitter feed, I shot Josh an email letting him know that he can rest easy, his title is secure for at least the next few days.” -Sean Spicer, January 2017

Sportswashing (verb): 1. Practice by an individual, group, corporation, or nation-state of using a sport to gloss over a bad reputation, often through hosting a sporting event or the purchase or sponsorship of sporting teams;
2. Adolph Hitler hosted the 1936 Summer Olympic Games;
3. Vladimir Putin hosted the 2014 Winter Olympic Games;
4. Xi Jinping hosted the 2008 Summer Olympic Games and the 2022 Winter Olympic Games;
5. Qatar hosting the 2022 World Cup;
6. UFC President Dana White speaking at a Donald Trump rally in 2020;
7. But not Donald Trump’s multiple failed attempts to own an NFL team.

“I’ve known this man for 20 years… This guy is so loyal and such a good friend. Every time I see him — I saw him today. When I met him on Air Force 1, the first thing he said to me was, ‘How is your family?’ Good man, very loyal and a very good friend.” -Dana White, 2020

Squad, The (noun): 1. Name given to progressive women elected during Donald Trump’s midterm elections, all of which often were at odds with Trump and faced criticism from him;
2. Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, Rashida Tlaib of Michigan and Ayanna Pressley of Massachusetts;
3. People who Trump often attacked based upon their status as people of color and diverse ethnic backgrounds, and whom he enjoyed using as convenient boogey(wo)men to fire up the more hateful part of his base;
4. New primetime showing coming to CBS Wednesdays, this fall.
See also: Radical Left Democrats

“So interesting to see “Progressive” Democrat Congresswomen, who originally came from countries whose governments are a complete and total catastrophe, the worst, most corrupt and inept anywhere in the world (if they even have a functioning government at all), now loudly and viciously telling the people of the United States, the greatest and most powerful Nation on earth, how our government is to be run. Why don’t they go back and help fix the totally broken and crime infested places from which they came? Then come back and show us how it is done. These places need your help badly, you can’t leave fast enough. I’m sure that Nancy Pelosi would be very happy to quickly work out free travel arrangements!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted July 2019

Stamina (noun): 1. Energy, endurance, lasting power;
2. Untrue claim made by Donald Trump about what Hillary Clinton lacked in the 2016 presidential election, disproven by her debate performance against him;
3. Something Trump lacked in the same debate, often looking white-lipped thirsty, frazzled, and anxious.

“[Hillary Clinton] doesn’t have the look. She doesn’t have the stamina, I said she doesn’t have the stamina, and I don’t believe she does have the stamina. -Donald Trump, 2016

Stand Back and Stand By (phrase): 1. Phrase uttered by Donald Trump during a 2020 debate when he was asked if he would denounce white supremacist groups, such as the Proud Boys;
2. Perceived as a call to action by white supremacist and pro-Trump militias, as well as anyone who was watching;
3. Trump admitting his support for the Proud Boys, a far-right and neo-fascist militia, which instigates political violence across the United States;
4. Phrase now used as the militia’s slogan;
5. Phrase uttered by the subway when the doors are closing.
See also: January 6th

“Proud Boys, stand back and stand by. But I’ll tell you what, I’ll tell you what, somebody’s got to do something about ANTIFA and the left because this is not a right-wing problem.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Steele Dossier (noun): 1. Deep candidate background on Donald Trump in 2016, first paid for by Republican rivals of Donald Trump, and later paid for by Democrats;
2. Conducted by former MI6 agent Christopher Steele, a highly regarded member of the British intelligence community and a specific expert on the Kremlin and Russian intelligence operations;
3. Dossier that contained damning preliminary evidence of the Trump Campaign’s contacts with Russia, but was separate and did not influence Robert Mueller’s investigations;
4. Report that first gave evidence of the Pee Pee Tape;
5. Report authored by the person with the coolest spy name in history.
See also: Mueller Report

“[Trump] sees more and more every single day that this is proving further and further to be a total witch hunt, particularly because it was based on a false and unverified and discredited dossier.” -Sarah Huckabee Sanders, 2018

Stone, Rogers (noun): 1. Political operative, consultant, lobbyist and Donald Trump ally and supporter;
2. Felon convicted of tampering with evidence, obstructing official proceedings, and making false statements to Congress, he was ultimately pardoned by Trump;
3. Man with a tattoo of Richard Nixon on his back;
4. Suspected leaker of nudes of Melania Trump;
5. Man who often dresses like a person with ambitions of blowing up Gotham City.
See also: Pardon

“Roger Stone was targeted by an illegal Witch Hunt that never should have taken place. It is the other side that are criminals, including Biden and Obama, who spied on my campaign—AND GOT CAUGHT!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted July 2020

Stop the Steal (noun): 1. Campaign started by Roger Stone in 2016 in preparation for Donald Trump’s loss to Hillary Clinton, and was then revived in 2020 by Trump and other allies in an attempt to overturn the 2020 election results;
2. Online campaign that resulted in firing up Trump’s base and helped lead directly to the January 6th Insurrection and riots;
3. Paradoxical campaign that led to people chanting for vote counting to be stopped in districts where Trump was leading, and chants for vote counting to continue in districts where Trump was behind;
4. Pathological unwillingness by Trump and his supporters to believe that a bigoted, narcissistic, misogynistic, con man would actually be rejected by American voters.

Not to be confused with Stop the Steel, which is a 2009 online campaign launched against the Pittsburgh Steelers by the Arizona Cardinals.
“STOP THE COUNT!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted November 2020

Stupid (noun/adjective): 1. Someone or something that is not considered smart or intelligent;
2. One of Trump’s insult words;
3. Not Donald Trump who has “a very good brain.”

“Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest – and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure, it’s not your fault.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted September 2013

Stupid Son of a B*tch (noun): 1. Insult by Joe Biden to Fox News White House Correspondent, Peter Doocy;
2. Comment that came after Biden was unnecessarily asked if the growing inflation was going to be a political liability to democrats in the midterms;
3. Insult that works on multiple levels when you realize that Peter Doocy is the stupid son of Fox News anchor, Steve Doocy.
See also: A Doocy

“No, it’s a great asset. “More inflation. What a stupid son of a bitch.” -Joe Biden to Peter Doocy, 2022

Super-Duper Hydrosonic Missile (noun): 1. Weapons that Donald Trump claims the United States has in its arsenal that are “superfast” and are four times faster than other missiles;
2. Weapons that are five times faster than other missiles;
3. Weapons that are six times faster than other missiles;
4. Weapons that are seventeen times faster than other missiles;
5. Missiles that Russia and China also have;
6. Type of motorized, and possibly weaponized, toothbrush.

“Brand new missiles and rockets, hypersonic missiles. We have hypersonic and hydrosonic. You know what hydrosonic is? Water. We have them all. We have missiles that can go seven times faster than any missile in the world.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Supreme Court (noun): 1. The highest court in the United States that helps judge laws based upon constitutionality, and also along party and ideological lines;
2. Justices are appointed by presidents for life, unless the president is Barack Obama and the appointed justice is named Merrick Garland, whose appointment was blocked for almost a year by Mitch McConnell and Senate Republicans, and setting a precedent that was immediately broken when McConnell rushed through his own appointment, less than eight weeks before the 2020 election.
3. August body that now contains three appointments by Donald Trump, including Neil Gorsuch, Amy Coney Barrett, and a sexual assaulter;
4. Court, despite having three Trump appointees on it, still did not uphold Trump’s 2020 election challenges.
5. The court size that falls between “Large Court” and “Grande Supreme Court.”

“Sometimes I had too many beers. I liked beer. I still like beer. But I never drank beer to the point of blacking out, and I never sexually assaulted anyone.” -Justice Brett Kavanaugh, 2018

Surgigal (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for surgical;
Not to be confused with: a “sure giggle” which is a type of laughter made by a president when he falsely suggests that doctors are profiting off a pandemic that has claimed hundreds of thousands of lives, despite there being no evidence or logic to that.

“Our doctors get more money if someone dies from Covid. You know that, right? I mean our doctors are very smart people. So, what they do is they say ‘I’m sorry but everybody dies of Covid,’” -Donald Trump, 2020

Susbesdig (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for suspected
2. The type of insulation that was installed in Trump’s childhood home and has been linked to cases of late onset brain damage.

“…or susbesdig gang members.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Swamp, The (noun): 1. A boggy and smelly body that is often hard to navigate;
2. “Drain the Swamp” was a popular campaign chant at Trump rallies, and a phrase he tweeted seventy-five times during his four-year presidency;
3. What Donald Trump claimed Washington DC was like before his arrival;
4. What Washington DC truly became after his arrival;
5. Home to often disgusting creatures that do illegal things below murky waters and give jobs to their daughter and son-in-law.

“Sometimes it may not look like it, but believe me, we are draining the swamp.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Swedish Terror Attack (event): 1. Unknown event that took place on February 18, 2017, that presumably happened in Sweden, but was only known to Donald Trump;
2. Completely fabricated event made up by Trump to convince his base that they should be afraid of refugees;
3. Famous 2003 incident involving a chainsaw, meatballs, and IKEA furniture.
See also: Alternative Facts

“You look at what’s happening in Germany, you look at what’s happening last night in Sweden. Sweden, who would believe this. Sweden. They took in large numbers. They’re having problems like they never thought possible.” -Donald Trump, 2017

T, President (noun): 1. Donald Trump nickname for Donald Trump… apparently;
2. Type of presidential hot drink that Trump’s staff likes to spill to reporters.
See also: Donald Trump

“Trump giving himself the friendly nickname ‘President T’ makes me deeply uncomfortable. Like he’s trying to cast himself in the role of the good dad all of the neighborhood kids love in a 1950’s TV show.” -Joyce Alene, MSNBC Legal Analyst, Tweeted November 2018

Tariffs (plural noun): 1. Imposed tax by the government of a country or supranational union on the imports or export of goods;
2. A series of measures undertaken by Donald Trump and his administration, imposed on solar panels, washing machines, steel, aluminum, and a range of other products imported from China;
3. Taxes, that despite what Trump claimed, were paid almost entirely by American households and American companies, costing the average citizen anywhere between several hundred and several thousand extra dollars a year;
4. Measures taken by Trump to prove that he was “tough” on China and Mexico, despite not having much political or economic effect and resulting in trade negotiations that did not differ much in gains from NAFTA and other similar negotiations completed under past presidents;
5. Something that Trump has been obsessed with since the 1980’s;
6. Word that Trump likes to use as a verb, despite the fact that grammar and good economic policy just doesn’t work that way.

“Don’t let them tell you, the fact is China devalues their currency, they pour money into their system. Because of that, you’re not paying for those tariffs. China’s paying for those tariffs. Until such time as there is a deal, we will be taxing the hell out of China.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Tax Cut (noun): 1. The thing every politician promises to do;
2. Donald Trump’s Tax Cuts only benefited the wealthiest Americans, with 60% of tax savings going to the wealthiest 20% of income earners;
3. Act which resulted in only a half of percentage increase in economic growth, but cost 1.5 trillion dollars, and helped grow the deficit to over a trillion dollars under Trump;
4. Justification for Trump to pay less taxes and brag to his rich friends about all he did for them.

“You all just got a lot richer.” -Donald Trump to Mar-a-lago guests after implementation of his tax cuts, 2017

Tax for Their Sins (verb): 1. Proposal that United States citizens moving from blue states to red states should be taxed extra or denied the right to vote;
2. Idea floated by conservative editors at Chronicles, Pedro Gonzalez and Marjorie Taylor Greene along with the idea of a “national divorce” where politically different states would essentially operate like different countries;
3. Implied sentiment that blue state democrats are either trying to ruin red states or influence politics in conservative states;
4. Irreconcilable idea that Florida actually needs outside help to ruin itself.

“I support actively discriminating against transplants like this through legislation. They shouldn’t be able to vote for a period, and they should have to pay a tax for their sins.” -Pedro Gonzalez, 2021

Tax Return (noun): 1. For or forms that report income, expenses, and other pertinent tax information;
2. Something that Donald Trump refused to release, something presidents have been doing voluntarily since the 1970’s;
3. Reports eventually obtained by the press that show Trump paid no federal income taxes in 11 of 18 years, received a questionable $72.9 million refund, inflated losses to lower taxes, took tax reductions on personal expenses and luxuries, including $70,000 on hair styling, and as president has received large sums of money from foreign sources and US interest groups.
4. Tax reports which Trump never released, even after they were done being “routinely audited.”

“I’m under a routine audit, and it’ll be released. And as soon as the audit is finished, it will be released.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Tell it Like it is (excuse): 1. Phrase often uttered by Donald Trump and his followers as an excuse for Trump’s often crude language and tactless statements;
2. Way for his supporters to justify Trump as a “straight-talker” without ever having to acknowledge that he is, in fact, a bully and a bigot;
3. A lie, because despite what people may think, there is a difference between being honest and being a jerk.

“Now, he’s African American. If I were African American, I wouldn’t like him very much… I will do more for the African American people in one year than Barack Obama has done in his seven years, soon to be eight years, and then, by the way, he’s out and thank goodness.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Testical Tanning (verb): 1. Act of exposing male genitalia to infrared light with an unproven therapy meant to increase testosterone levels;
2. Sham practice of “bromeotherapy” promoted by Fox News host, Tucker Carlson, as a way to combat what he claims are dropping levels of testosterone in modern men;
3. Therapy that is so crazy even Kid Rock cannot get behind it;
4. Proof that the person who will raise testosterone levels is a rich boy who grew up attending prep schools and summering in Maine and Nova Scotia.

“So, obviously, half the viewers right now are like ‘What?! Testicle tanning, that’s crazy!’ But my view is, OK, testosterone levels have crashed and nobody says anything about it, that’s crazy, so why is it crazy to seek solutions?” -Tucker Carlson, 2020

TFG (abbreviation): 1. Abbreviation for “The Former Guy,” commonly used on Twitter in reference to Donald Trump;
2. Nickname coined by Gail Collins of The New York Times;
3. Way to direct a reader’s understanding to know one is talking about Trump, but without having to type out his name and risk invoking his presence and having your keyboard catch fire;
4. Acknowledgement that if you say Trump’s name three times, he appears in your house to eat your leftovers and start talking about the size of his crowds.
See also: He Who Shall Not be Named

“We’ve still got Trump, desperate for our attention. The Former Guy says he’s going to devote himself to permanently remaking the Republican Party in his own image. Unless, of course, he gets hauled off to debtors’ prison first.” -Gail Collins, 2021

That Woman from Michigan (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for Gretchen Whitmer, Democratic governor of Michigan;
2. Elected official who, in October of 2020, was the target of a kidnapping plot by a Trump-supporting militia group, the Wolverine Watchmen, who hoped to overthrow the state’s government;
3. Governor who gave the 2020 Democratic response to Trump’s State of the Union Address, and is a noted Trump critic;
4. Woman who removed herself from consideration as Joe Biden’s running-mate, saying that he needed to select an African American woman instead;
5. What Ivanka Trump calls her assistant, because she can never be bothered to learn her name.

“I love Michigan, one of the reasons we are doing such a GREAT job for them during this horrible Pandemic,” Trump posted on Twitter. “Yet your Governor, Gretchen “Half” Whitmer is way in over her ahead, she doesn’t have a clue. Likes blaming everyone for her own ineptitude!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted March 2016

That’s Like Big Stuff (phrase): 1. Response by Donald Trump made during a campaign rally in Ashburn, Virginia;
2. Response supposedly made after receiving a Purple Heart from retired Lieutenant Colonel Louis Dorfman whom it was awarded to;
3. Response made after Trump received a copy of the medal that was awarded to Dorfman;
4. Phrase never uttered about Trump’s hands.

“And I said, ‘Man, that’s like big stuff.’ I always wanted to get the Purple Heart. This was much easier.” -Donald Trump, 2016

They Love Me (phrase): 1. Phrase often uttered by Donald Trump to indicate that a group of people tolerate him;
2. Phrase used as self-congratulations by Trump as to why he believes he is great and doing good things;
3. Song by Roy Wood Jr. and the Daily Show written from actual Trump quotes;
4. Phrase that really stretches the limits of the definition of “they.”

“Check me out, Democrats they love me
Check me out, these Muslims love me (They do!)
Stop hatin’, these Women love me
These gays love me
Everybody love me (Told Ya!)
Check me out, Megyn Kelly she love me
Check me out, illegals they love me (You bet!)
What it do, these veterans love me
Protestors love me
Everybody love Me.” -Roy Wood Jr., 2016

Thingification (noun/verb): 1. Rhetorical strategy, often used by Donald Trump, to trivialize the humanity, dignity, needs, or opinions of those with who he disagrees or dislikes by treating them as emotionless objects;
2. Similar to reification, which comes from the Latin res meaning “thing” and fication, a suffix related to facere, which means “to make;”
3. Trump’s tendency to refer to people, especially women, as “it,” rather than a gendered pronoun;
4. Voted the word that is “Most Fun to Say,” but with the worst meaning.

“Trump is a person and his enemies are objects. Just as the ‘thingification’ of women denies them the power to consent to what happens to their bodies, when Trump ‘thingifies’ his critics he denies them the ability to speak and rebut his accusations.” -Beth Daly, 2016

Third Word Election (noun): 1. False statement by Donald Trump to cast doubt on his legitimate election loss in the 2029 presidential election;
2. Mocking term by Trump comparing the American election to an election in a developing country, where democracy is sometimes limited and rigged;
3. Wish by Trump that the American election could be like an election in a developing country, where democracy is limited and rigged.

“It’s like a third-world country — these ballots pouring in from everywhere, using machinery that nobody knows ownership, nobody knows anything about. They have ‘glitches’, as they call them. Glitches. The glitches weren’t glitches. They got caught sending out thousands of votes — all against me.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Thomas, Ginni (noun): 1. Virginia Thomas is an attorney, conservative political activist, conspiracy theorist, and wife of Supreme Court Justice, Clarence Thomas;
2. Woman who was appointed by Donald Trump to the trust fund board for the Library of Congress;
3. Activist that urged Trump to change personnel in his administration to candidates vetted by the Groundswell Group, a conservative organization that has vowed to fight progressivism;
4. Woman who promoted the January 6th rally on her Facebook account;
5. Person who exchanged text messages with Mark Meadows urging him to overturn the election victory of Joe Biden, and referenced several QAnon conspiracy theories as to how that was possible;
6. Wife of a Supreme Court Justice who refused to recuse himself in the matter of court proceedings pertaining to Trump’s election claims or the January 6th Insurrection;
7. Woman who called Anita Hill, a woman who her husband had sexually harassed, and demanded that she apologize to her husband;
8. The least popular breakfast platter at Denny’s.

“Help This Great President stand firm, Mark!!! … You are the leader, with him, who is standing for America’s constitutional governance at the precipice. The majority knows Biden and the Left is attempting the greatest Heist of our History… This is a fight of good versus evil. Evil always looks like the victor until the King of Kings triumphs. Do not grow weary in well doing. The fight continues. I have staked my career on it. Well at least my time in DC on it… Sounds like Sidney [Powell] and her team are getting inundated with evidence of fraud. Make a plan. Release the Kraken and save us from the left taking America down.” -Ginni Thomas, Text Message to Mark Meadows, 2020

Threatening (adjective): 1. Word or action meant to imply a threat of physical or other types of harm;
2. Donald Trump’s words to describe any criticism made toward him;
3. Something Trump actually does to his opponents, typically rally his supporters to threaten actual violence against those he disagrees with.

“These THUGS are dishonoring the memory of George Floyd, and I won’t let that happen. Just spoke to Governor Tim Walz and told him that the Military is with him all the way. Any difficulty and we will assume control but, when the looting starts, the shooting starts. Thank you!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted May 2020

Toilet (noun): 1. Receptacle typically used for disposing of human waste, and for sitting on at 2 AM and scream tweeting at the media;
2. A receptacle which Americans can’t get any water into and need to flush multiple times.

“You turn on the faucet and you don’t get any water. They take a shower and water comes dripping out. Just dripping out, very quietly dripping out. People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times, as opposed to once.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Total Sham (noun): 1. One of Donald Trump’s favorite ways to discredit a legitimate process, such as an election, Congressional hearing, or official government policy;
2. Indicator that the process is probably legitimate and Trump is just upset that he is not getting his way;
3. Product you can buy on a late-night infomercial for only $15.99, but wait there’s more.
Synonyms include: “big scam” and “rigged”

“Judge Kavanaugh showed America exactly why I nominated him. His testimony was powerful, honest, and riveting. Democrats’ search and destroy strategy is disgraceful and this process has been a total sham and effort to delay, obstruct, and resist. The Senate must vote!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted September 2018

Tough Guy, Mr. (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for John Bolton, an attorney, diplomat, Republican consultant, and national security advisor to Donald Trump;
2. Man known for a prodigious mustache, which was almost as big as his hatred of Iran;
3. Secretary fired by Donald Trump.
4. The worst He-Man knockoff-action figure you can buy.
See also: Iran

“[Bolton] wanted to do things, not necessarily tougher than me, you know John’s known as a tough guy. He’s so tough he got us into Iraq … but he’s actually somebody I had a very good relationship with. But he wasn’t getting along with people in the administration that I consider very important.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Transgender Rights (noun): 1. Equal rights that should be granted to members of the transgender community, but were not under Donald Trump;
2. Examples include: a new rule that allowed federally funded homeless shelters to turn away transgendered people, reversing an Obama-era protection for transgender patients which allowed insurance companies to deny transgender coverage for transition services, reversing an Obama-era rule that allowed transgender students to use the bathroom of their choice, and banning transgender people from serving in the US Armed Forces which he announced over Twitter.
See also: Most Pro-Gay President

“After consultation with my Generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States Government will not accept or allow Transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. Military. Our military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming victory and cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender in the military would entail. Thank you” -Donald Trump, Tweeted July 2017

Transpants (plural noun): 1. Trumpspeak for transplants;
2. Pants that Donald Trump would ban from serving in the military.

“Heart lung and liver transpants…” -Donald Trump, 2019

Tremendous (adjective): 1. Very great amount of something, or something with large scale or intensity;
2. One of Trump’s twenty favorite words, along with: amazing, bad, dangerous, lightweight, loser, moron, out of control, politically correct, rigged, small, smart, stupid, terrific, they, tough, we, weak, win/winning, zero.
3. Obvious lie when used by Trump, and can be taken to mean the opposite of its typical definition.

“We have tremendous Hispanic support. We have tremendous African American support. I think we have great support, period.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Trigger Happy Hillary (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Hillary Clinton;
2. One of many nicknames given by Trump to his 2016 opponent;
3. Reference made for Clinton’s support of the Iraq war;
4. Somewhat confusing nickname as Trump also claimed that Clinton wanted to take away Americans’ guns.

“Sometimes it seemed like there wasn’t a country in the Middle East that Hillary Clinton didn’t want to invade, intervene in, or topple. She is trigger-happy and very unstable, whether we like it or not, that’s what’s going on.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Triggered (noun): 1. Something activated by a trigger;
2. Derogatory conservative term often used to describe liberals when they get angry because someone has said something is not politically correct;
3. Something that regularly happens to conservatives when liberals try to enact common sense policies, such as mask mandates or gun reform;
4. Book “written” by Donald Trump Jr. that compares his father to Martin Luther King Jr. and mostly complains about how people were mean to him on Twitter.

“From the moment the nurses at New York Hospital inked the name ‘Donald John Trump Jr.’ onto my birth certificate, you might say I’ve been following in the footsteps of my father.” -Donald Trump Jr., Triggered, 2019

Trump Combo (adjective): 1. Tendency of Donald Trump to double up words to add unneeded emphasis;
2. Examples include: “very, very,” and “really, really,”
3. Dinner meal combo that includes a McDonald’s hamburger, a bucket of KFC wings, and a diet Coca Cola.

“I didn’t wait long. I didn’t wait long. I didn’t wait long. I wanted to make sure, unlike most politicians, that what I said was correct. Not make a quick statement. The statement I made on Saturday, the first statement, was a fine statement. But you don’t make statements that direct unless you know the fact. It takes a little while to get the facts. You still don’t know the facts. And it’s a very, very important process to me. And it’s a very important statement. So, I don’t want to go quickly and just make a statement for the sake of making a political statement.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Trump Derangement Syndrome (noun): 1. Pejorative term, often abbreviated as (TDS), and used by Trump supporters as a criticism of left-wing and moderate American reactions to Donald Trump whenever he does something that seems illogical on the surface;
2. Hatred of Trump that is so intense it impairs people’s judgment;
3. Excuse used by MAGA supporters for how the media and others react to Trump when he does something that seems to make no sense, because in their view he is “playing 4D chess while everyone else is playing checkers.”

“[TDS is] the preferred nomenclature of Trump defenders who view those who oppose him and his policies as nothing more than the blind hatred of those who preach tolerance and free speech.” -Chris Cillizza, CNN, 2018

Trump Foundation (noun): 1. Charity organization of the Trump Organization, which only ever rusted in helping Donald Trump and his family;
2. Organization where funds were regularly used by Trump and his three eldest children, including being used for his 2016 campaign;
3. Foundation that once paid $60,000 on a painting of Donald Trump, and also $10,000 for another portrait of Donald Trump;
4. Charity organization that was dissolved under judicial supervision and was forced to pay two million dollars in fines;
5. Concrete foundation of most Trump owned properties, most of which are probably rotten and cheaply built.

“Trump Foundations, small foundation. People contribute, I contribute. The money goes 110 percent, 100 percent goes to different charities, including a lot of military. I don’t get anything. I don’t buy boats. I don’t buy planes.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Trump Loophole (noun): 1. Portion of a Republican-passed tax bill that cut the tax rate on income of pass-through businesses, which will primarily benefit wealthy taxpayers and large companies;
2. Tax loophole that personally benefits Donald Trump and the Trump Organization;
3. Misleading promises made by Trump that his tax cuts would benefit small business and middle-class families;
4. The personal rollercoaster that Trump had built to appease Eric Trump.
See also: Tax Cut

“ITEP’s most recent analysis [of the Trump Tax Cuts] estimates the richest 5 percent of taxpayers will receive $145 billion in tax cuts in 2020, which is half of the law’s benefits that go to U.S. taxpayers. The richest 20 percent of taxpayers will receive $205 billion in 2020, which is 72 percent of the law’s benefits that go to U.S. taxpayers. ITEP also estimates that in 2020 another $38 billion will go to foreign investors, who benefit from TCJA’s corporate tax cuts.” -Institute of Taxation and Economic Policy, 2019

Trump Original (noun/verb/adjective): 1. Distinction that Donald Trump uses to brag about the nicknames he gives to his opponents;
2. Way for Trump to brand and be proud of the name calling he has normalized in political discourse;
3. The twelfth and little-known secret spice that is added to a KFC bucket of chicken.

“Look, [Rocket Man is] a President Trump original. As you know, he’s a master in branding.” -Sarah Huckabee Sanders, 2017

Trump Taj Mahal (noun): 1. Casino and hotel bought by Donald Trump in 1987 as part of several hotels and casinos that the Trump Organization owned and operated in Atlantic City, New Jersey;
2. Casino that opened in 1990 and went through prepackaged bankruptcy by 1991;
3. Place that, according to federal investigators, was a preferred gambling spot for Russian mobsters when the casino was on the verge of bankruptcy;
4. One of three Atlantic City Trump properties, all of which, in total, filed for bankruptcy four times, losing billions of dollars and all of which ultimately failed, leaving thousands out of work and the New Jersey town in economic ruin while Trump made millions;
5. Reason why Trump still thinks rubbery steak and cheap wine is considered “Indian” food.

“People underestimated Donald Trump’s ability to pillage the company. He drove these companies into bankruptcy by his mismanagement, the debt and his pillaging.” -Sebastian Pignatello, former Trump casino investor, 2016

Trump Tantrum (noun): 1. Anger from Donald Trump aimed at others and often done over petty remarks or perceived slights, typically from the media or other world leaders;
2. Anger most likely taken out on Twitter at 3 AM in the morning;
3. January 6th;
4. A 19-foot-high diaper-clad, mobile phone clutching ‘Trump Baby’ inflatable that protestors flew over London during the President’s visit in July 2018;
5. Anger that can sometimes be calmed by people playing show tunes, especially Memory from the musical, Cats.
See also: The Music Man

“I say that you’re a terrible reporter. That’s what I say. I think it’s a very nasty question and I think it’s a very bad signal that you’re putting out to the American people.” -Donald Trump, when asked by a reporter what he would say to scared Americans, 2020

Trump Tower (noun): 1. Mixed-use skyscraper at 721-725 Fifth Avenue in Midtown Manhattan, between 56th and 57th Streets;
2. New York residence of Donald Trump and his family who maintain a three-story penthouse apartment, notable for being decorated almost entirely in gold;
3. Built in 1983 by laborers that Trump failed to pay, and by contractors that Trump later sued for “total incompetence;”
4. Place of the 2016 meeting between Don Jr., Jared Kushner, and Paul Manafort with Russian lawyer Natalia Veselnitskaya to receive information that would be “damaging to Hillary Clinton;”
5. The site for the painting of the large “Black Lives Matter” sign down 5th Avenue, as well as the site of hundreds of New York protests during the years of the Trump Administration.
Not to be confused with: “40 Wall Street (The Trump Building),” “Trump International Hotel and Tower (Chicago),” or one of several dozen “Trump Towers” located around the world, and other buildings that Donald Trump has slapped his name on.

“Happy #CincoDeMayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I Love Hispanics!” -Donald Trump Tweeted May 2016

Trump Train (noun): 1. Colloquial term for people who have “jumped on” the Trump Train, as in have become supporters of Donald Trump;
2. Something often accompanied by a “whoo whoo” train noise;
3. Convoy of vehicles that once tried to run a Biden campaign bus, containing Kamala Harris, off the road in Texas.
See also: The Base

“I LOVE TEXAS” -Donald Trump, Tweeted along with a video of trucks attacking a Biden campaign bus, October 2020

Trump Vodka (noun): 1. Brand of vodka released in 2005 by the Trump Organization;
2. Failed product, like most of Donald Trump’s business endeavors, went bankrupt and left a trail of unpaid vendors and litigation;
3. Drink made from one part cheap grain alcohol, and two parts swamp water.

“I fully expect the most called for cocktail in America to be the T&T or the Trump and Tonic.” -Donald Trump, 2006

Trump, Barron (noun): 1. Youngest son of Donald Trump and Melania Trump;
2. Someone that Trump may not realize is his son;
3. Person who the right has deemed that no one is allowed to talk about;
4. Person that Trump has deemed not to talk about, either.

“We can’t have our youth be so affected, and I’m hearing it, and that’s how the First Lady got involved. She’s got a son, together, that’s a beautiful young man, and she feels very, very strongly about it.” -Donald Trump, Talking about his own son, 2019

Trump, Donald (criminal): 1. Politician, real estate developer, media personality, and former President of the United States, Donald Trump is a showman and a con man, who is known for racially charged, rhetoric, misogynistic actions, grandiose lies, and having a TV show that one time;
2. Father to five different children from three different marriages;
3. Trump is known to enjoy gold and spent a large portion of his time in office on golf courses, typically while tragedies unfolded elsewhere in the country;
4. Man who was banned from Twitter for instigating a riot and insurrection against the US Capitol building;
5. Sore loser.
For Donald Trump Jr, refer to: Junior

“Oftentimes when I was sleeping with one of the top women in the world I would say to myself, thinking about me as a boy from Queens, ‘Can you believe what I am getting?’” -Donald Trump, 2008

Trump, Eric (noun): 1. Second son of Donald Trump;
2. Often portrayed as being the dumbest son of Donald Trump;
3. Often portrayed correctly.

“Minnesota get out and vote!!!” Tweeted seven days after election day, 2020

Trump, Fred (noun): 1. Father of Donald Trump, real estate developer, businessman, and racist;
2. Fred Trump repeatedly turned away minority applicants trying to rent his apartment in New York City and in 1973 the US Justice Department filed a civil rights suit against him and Donald for infringing on the Fair Housing Act of 1968;
3. Fred Trump was arrested at a KKK rally in New York in 1927;
4. Disapproving father who never willingly gave his love to his sons which resulted in the suicide of his eldest son, Fred Jr, and the narcissistic sociopathic behavior of his second son, Donald.
5. Father who gave his son, Donald, a small business loan of about sixty million dollars, in order to help him be a “self-made.”

“It has not been easy for me, it has not been easy for me. And you know I started off in Brooklyn, my father gave me a small loan of a million dollars.” -Donald Trump, 2015

Trump, Fred Jr. (noun): 1. Eldest son of Fredrick Trump Sr. and older brother to Donald Trump;
2. Father of Fred Trump III, and Dr. Mary L. Trump;
3. Person that Fred Sr. wanted to take over his real estate business, E. Trump & Son, but he proved to be a disappointment to his father and to not have the right personality for real estate;
4. Person who instead pursued being a pilot and loved to fly, but was a disappointment to his father’s and brother’s expectations and was often derided for not living up to the family name;
5. Eldest Trump son who eventually fell into alcoholism, domestic abuse, and died from an alcohol-related heart attack in 1970 at the age of 42;
6. Man whose son, Fred III, and his disabled grandson, were denied health coverage by Donald Trump.

“Well, [Donald Trump’] father told him, “You’re a killer, you’re a king,” and expected him to be those things. His older brother Freddy, who died young, suffered for not living up the father’s expectations that a man be incredibly tough and almost merciless. Donald was willing to be those things, and that’s exactly who his father expected him to be.” -Michael D’Antonio, 2017

Trump, Ivanka (noun): 1. Once considered the “Good Trump” it soon turned out that she was nothing more than a better-looking version of her father;
2. Businesswoman, wife to Jared Kushner, former White House aide, criminal, and spokeswoman for Goya beans;
3. Women’s advocate, but not really;
4. Person that Donald Trump is clearly attracted to.

“I don’t think Ivanka would do that, although she does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” -Donald Trump, 2006

Trump, Mary L. (noun): 1. The second child of Fred Trump Jr. and Linda Lee Clapp;
2. Clinical psychologist, she has written two books about her family, in particular her uncle, Donald Trump, in which she detailed the trauma of the Trump family, the death of her father and how Trump was made into “the world’s most dangerous man;”
3. Critic of Trump, and a lesbian who was forced to stay in the closet by her family’s homophobia and bigotry;
4. Woman who was effectively disinherited by Fred Trump Sr. and Donald Trump after the elder Trump’s death, receiving only $200,000 of the multi-million-dollar estate.
5. Proof that everyone truly does have a racist and creepy uncle.

“Fred Trump [Sr.] came to validate, encourage, and champion the things about Donald that rendered him essentially unlovable and that were in part the direct result of Fred’s abuse.” -Mary L. Trump, 2020

Trump, Tiffany (noun): 1. Forgotten child of Donald Trump and Marla Maples;
2. Child who is trotted out sometimes by Trump to smile and make a few statements;
3. Member of the “Snap Pack,” or the “Rich Kids of Instagram,” known for posting images of elaborate outings and vacations, often accused of being tone-deaf in nature;
4. Person also known as, “No, not Ivanka… the other one… I want to say, ‘Tracy?’.”

“She’s a very beautiful baby. She’s got Marla’s legs. We don’t know whether or not [put his hands to his chest to indicate large breasts] she’s got this part yet, but time will tell.” -Donald Trump, Talking about his infant daughter Tiffany, 1994

Trumpbot (noun): 1. Die-hard supporter or media person who thinks Donald Trump is infallible, and will obey every word he says;
2. Unflattering and nightmare-inducing robot that currently lives in Disney World’s Hall of Presidents, and comes at life at night to call all the other robot presidents, “losers;”
3. Twitterbot that was programmed to analyze and emulate human conversation on Twitter, immediately became a Nazi, and then won the Republican presidential nomination.

“OK, it’s amazing right now with ISIS, I tell you what? I don’t want them to vote, the worst very social people. I love me.” -@DeepDrumpf, MIT built Twitter bot made to emulate Donald Trump’s speech patterns, Tweeted March 2016

Trumpery (noun/adjective): 1. Word meaning showy but ultimately worthless;
2. Donald Trump.

“Let’s say I was worth $10. People would say, ‘Who the f*ck are you?’ You understand? They know my statement. Fortune. My book, The Art of the Deal, based on my fortune. If I didn’t make a fortune, who the f*ck is going to buy The Art of the Deal? That’s why they watched The Apprentice. Because of my great success.” -Donald Trump, 2015

Trumpism (noun): 1. Political ideology and mechanism for controlling power associated with Donald Trump, and often linked to tactics of right-wing authoritarianism and male bravado;
2. Idea that under the right leader the United States can return to an imagined nostalgic past of glory;
3. Paradoxical strongman approach matched with a victim mentality that paints all other opposing opinions and facts as enemies to be embarrassed or destroyed;
4. American Nazism for the twenty-first century.

“When somebody is the president of the United States, the authority is total and that’s the way it’s got to be… It’s total.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Trumple/Trumpling (noun/verb): 1. Deep anxiety of feeling all your deceits are about to be exposed in court;
2. Act of ignoring law and rights, especially those found in the United States Constitution and the Geneva Conventions;
3. Habit of a dog to lick their own testicles.

“Donald today is much as he was at three years old: incapable of growing, learning, or evolving, unable to regulate his emotions, moderate his responses, or take in and synthesize information. Donald’s need for affirmation is so great that he doesn’t seem to notice that the largest group of his supporters are people he wouldn’t condescend to be seen with outside of a rally. His deep-seated insecurities have created in him a black hole of need that constantly requires the light of compliments that disappears as soon as he’s soaked it in. Nothing is ever enough. This is far beyond garden-variety narcissism; Donald is not simply weak, his ego is a fragile thing that must be bolstered every moment.” -Mary L. Trump, 2020

Trumplet (noun): 1. Umbrella term for a Donald Trump cheerleader;
2. Loyal Trump supporter that consistently supports and defends Trump’s behavior, no matter how it makes them look or feel;
3. Female trumpet.
See also: The Base

“They say that he said, ‘all Mexican immigrants are criminals,’ but he did not say that. He said, ‘when Mexico sends people,’ that is different. Mariel boat lift, Cubans and criminals, that is not an absurd thought, but people tried to paint him as a racist and sexist.” -Kayleigh McEnaney, White House Press Secretary, 2015

Trump-Putin Combo (noun): 1. July 30th, 2018 cover of TIME Magazine depicting a melded photoshopped picture of Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump;
2. Reference to the 2018 Helsinki Conference where Trump was deceived and manipulated by Putin, where he praised the dictator and called the United States “foolish,” and where Trump claimed to believe the word of Putin over that of American intelligence agencies;
3. Meeting that resulted in many NATO allies beginning to fear that they could no longer rely on the United States;
4. The new villain duo on the rebooted Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.

“I hold both countries [US and Russia] responsible. I think that the United States has been foolish. I think we’ve all been foolish. … And I think we’re all to blame.” -Donald Trump, when asked if he held Russia responsible for anything, 2018

Truth Social (noun): 1. Company started by Donald Trump after his 2020 election loss, and after he was banned permanently from Twitter for starting an insurrection against the United States government;
2. App whose CEO is Devin Nunes, of which downloads have fallen by 95% since its launch;
3. Social media platform that has long waiting lines, technical issues, and yet still has far less users than Twitter or other similar platforms;
4. Rebranded version of Twitter that has users send out “truths” instead of “tweets,” because rebranding is what Trump is good at;
5. Social media platform that Trump has only posted to once, despite it being his own company;
6. Annual dance attended by 9/11 truthers, flat earthers, and everyone’s least-favorite uncles.

“I’m back. #COVFEFE.” -Donald Trump, Truthed April 2022

Try to Be Honest (phrase): 1. Comeback by Joe Biden to Donald Trump after Trump asked, “Can I be honest?”;
2. Task that is very difficult for Trump.

“I’m urging my supporters to go into the polls and watch very carefully because that’s what has to happen. I am urging them to do it. As you know, today there was a big problem. In Philadelphia, they went into watch, they were called poll watchers, a very safe, very nice thing. They were thrown out. They weren’t allowed to watch. You know why? Because bad things happen in Philadelphia. Bad things.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Turd Tornado (noun): 1. Name given to Donald Trump by conservative commentator Ben Shapiro in 2017;
2. Shapiro has claimed that he does not support Trump, often before turning around and defending every position that Trump takes on most issues and laughing at how Trump is able to “own the libs;”
3. May also refer to Shapiro himself who is a thinly-veiled (and not so thinly-veiled) white supremacist that often indoctrinates young men into his own way of thinking by asking misleading questions, setting up straw-man arguments, and pretending to be a pseudo-intellectual;
4. Ben Shapiro’s Twitter feed.

“Trayvon Martin would have turned 21 today if he hadn’t taken a man’s head and beaten it on the pavement before being shot.” -Ben Shapiro, Tweeted February 2016

Tweeter-in-Chief (noun): 1. The 45th President of the United States of America;
2. Title specifically given to Donald Trump due to his unorthodox use of the social media platform Twitter to rant at enemies, air his grievances, and make ridiculous policies without consulting any of his aides, generals, or officials first;
3. Refers to the fact that Trump’s tweets were referenced on a daily basis by news outlets and became the top trending stories of most news cycles due to their outrageous comments and allowed Trump to control the conversation of the day;
4. Title which ended along with his presidency as Twitter permanently revoked Trump’s account due to his incitement of the January 6th insurrection;
5. Also, may refer to the 45th Bird President of the United Nests of the Avian Federation.
See also: Twitter

“Dear President Trump, your tweeting has affected me in the following ways: My ratings are up, but, President Trump, some nights, half my monologue is just about things you’ve tweeted. You’re squeezing out other fun news stories. Did you know that San Francisco is opening a rat cafe? They are. That’s real. You took that away from me.” -Stephen Colbert, 2017

Twitter (noun): 1. Social platform that allows for messages in a limited number of characters, and was the preferred method of communication by Donald Trump during his presidency;
2. Platform most known for causing division, vitriol, and trolling among online debates and has been credited as one of the reasons for the political polarization of the United States;
3. Platform that eventually banned Donald Trump after the January 6th Insurrection, which will possibly be the only consequence he will ever face;
4. Platform that failed to ban Donald Trump after years and years of fraud, racism, sexism, and other comments that led to the January 6th riots;
5. Platform that is still better than Facebook.

“The president is president of the United States, so [Trump’s tweets] are considered official statements by the president of the United States.”

Ukraine (noun): 1. Country in Eastern Europe and former member of the Soviet Union, it borders Russia and has been plagued by Russian aggression, which included the annexation of Crimea and Russian back militias trying to take control along its eastern border;
2. Country in bad need of military aid from the United States, which was promised but withheld by Donald Trump;
3. Country whose President Trump wanted to announce investigations into Joe Biden in return for the promised aid;
4. Country whose national food is borscht, which is basically cold soup.
See also: Quid Pro Quo

“Look, I never talked to the President [Trump] from the position of a quid pro quo. That’s not my thing. … I don’t want us to look like beggars. But you have to understand. We’re at war. If you’re our strategic partner, then you can’t go blocking anything for us. I think that’s just about fairness. It’s not about a quid pro quo. It just goes without saying.” -President Volodymyr Zelenskiy, 2019

United Nations (noun): 1. International organization set up after World War II in order to promote closer peace and cooperation among countries;
2. Organization that Donald Trump complains impedes on America’s sovereignty, restricts American freedoms, and has been openly hostile towards;
3. Organization that openly laughed at Trump when he gave a speech in front of their assembly when he bragged about himself.

“In less than two years, my administration has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country… (laughter from the assembled) So true. I didn’t expect that reaction, but that’s okay.” -Donald Trump, in front of the UN, 2018

United States Postal Service (noun): 1. A critical service offered by the United States that helps deliver mail, packages, and other critical goods to US citizens, even in remote areas, and is consistently rated as one of the most popular organizations with the US Government;
2. A non-competitive failure of an organization that Donald Trump believes loses the US money, and should be dismantled so that private companies can come in and do the business better… but not Amazon.
3. Company Trump once used to add surcharge prices onto Amazon packages because he hates Jeff Bezos;
4. Government entity, which Trump appointed Louis DeJoy, a Trump donor and CEO of a competing private freight transportation company, as postmaster, and who artificially slowed down the mail and tried to dismantle the US Postal Service;
5. Critical service needed during the COVID-19 pandemic to deliver supplies and packages to homes, and to allow Vote by Mail for the 2020 election;
6. Only government agency guaranteed in the US Constitution.
See also: Vote by Mail

“They need that money in order to have the Post Office work so it can take all of these millions and millions of ballots… If we don’t make a deal, that means they don’t get the money, that means they can’t have universal mail-in voting. They just can’t have it. Sort of a crazy thing. Very interesting.” -Donald Trump, 2020

United States of America (noun): 1. Country on the North American Continent that was originally a British colony until it declared independence in 1777, and whose constitution was formally established in 1788;
2. Republican style democracy with a chief executive known as the President of the United States, which is kept in check by two other branches of government, the judicial and a bicameral legislative branch;
3. Country that elected Donald Trump as president in 2016, an executive with no checks on his power due to him appointing three judges to the judicial branch, and owning the loyalty of the majority of the Republican party in the legislative branch;
4. Country that is no longer as “united” as it once was;
5. A country that Trump believes is no longer “great” unless he is in charge of it.

“Donald Trump is the first president in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people — does not even pretend to try. Instead, he tries to divide us. We are witnessing the consequences of three years of this deliberate effort. We are witnessing the consequences of three years without mature leadership.” –(ret.) General Jim Mattis, former Secretary of Defense, 2020

Unlimited Executive Authority (noun): 1. Powers claimed by Trump throughout his Presidency, and which he has mostly been able to exercise with little oversight thanks to Republican allies;
2. Trump issued 140 Executive Orders, including travel bans from Muslim countries, restricting net neutrality, creating anti-transgender bans, limiting rights of LGBT+ Americans, Immigration enforcement, and more;
3. Trump declared a national emergency to open funds to build his border wall and send troops to restrict the movement of refugees;
4. Because of his position as president he was allowed to escape prosecution multiple times;
Not to be confused with: Unlimited Cosmic Power, which can only be granted by a wish from a genie.

“A sitting President is constitutionally immune from indictment and criminal prosecution.” -Justice Department Memo, 2000

Unpresidented (adjective): 1. Typo of Donald Trump when he clearly meant to say “unprecedented;”
2. Adjective only reserved for when China steals a US Navy drone;
3. Hit internet meme of 2016;
4. A Freudian slip that succinctly sums up the Trump Presidency.

“China steals United States Navy research drone in international waters – rips it out of water and takes it to China in unpresidented act.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted December 2016

Unwaving (adjective): 1. Trumpspeak for unwavering;
2. Rare phenomena that happens when Donald Trump salutes an American Flag, it un-waves, the flag equivalent of making a rude hand gesture.

“I spoke to leaders of many of America’s amazing nonprofit organizations. I thanked them for their unwaving and unwavering devotion to American people.” Donald Trump, 2020

Vaccine Mandate (noun): 1. Mandates put in place by federal and state governments to ensure that citizens have received their vaccinations, specifically against COVID-19, before engaging in activities such as attending school or flying on airplanes for the good of public health;
2. Socialist liberal plot to implant Bill Gates-made microchips in the American people, and make them magnetized so that silverware sticks to them and they become infertile;
3. An unprecedented restriction on American freedom that has never before been seen;
4. Mandates that have been in place since the early twentieth century for all children attending public schools.
Similar to: “Mask Mandate.”

“[Democrats] disparaged the vaccine, and now they wonder why people aren’t wanting to take it? It’s a disgrace.” -Donald Trump, 2021

Very Fine People (excuse): 1. Refers to a line uttered by Trump when he was asked to disavow white supremacists who participated in a riot in Charlottesville, Virginia, and killed one protestor by running her over with a car;
2. Racist dog whistle that was the first true signal that Trump gave to people that he was okay with white supremacist terrorism;
3. Folk rock band from 1962, who also ended up being white supremacists.

“Excuse me, they didn’t put themselves down as neo-Nazis, and you had some very bad people in that group. But you also had people that were very fine people on both sides… You had people in that group that were there to protest the taking down, of to them, a very, very important statue and the renaming of a park from Robert E. Lee to another name.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Very Likely a Crime (obvious): 1. Judgment that Donald Trump “most likely” committed a crime by trying to stop the peaceful transition of power after the 2020 presidential election;
2. Ruling by a California district court judge in a civil case against Trump lawyer, John Eastman;
3. Very likely the only sort of punishment or official rulings of crime against Trump that will be recorded before his much more successful coup of 2024.

“The illegality of the plan was obvious. Our nation was founded on the peaceful transition of power, epitomized by George Washington laying down his sword to make way for democratic elections. Ignoring this history, President Trump vigorously campaigned for the vice president to single-handedly determine the results of the 2020 election.” -Judge David O. Carter of the Central District of California, 2022

Very Stable Genius (noun): 1. Someone who is both very smart and very stable;
2. Donald Trump’s claim about himself, which like most things he says is demonstrably false;
3. What Donald Trump repeats in the mirror to himself every morning.

“Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius….and a very stable genius at that!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted January 2018

Vote (verb): 1. Sacred right given to all Americans, though it took a few hundred years for that dream to be realized;
2. Right that is still under threat today from attempts of right-wing voter suppression;
3. The most effective way for citizens of the United States to make real change in their government and in their nation;
4. How winners are selected on American Idol.

“If you count the illegal votes, they can try to steal the election from us. If you count the votes that came in late, we’re looking to them very strongly, but a lot of votes came in late.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Vote by Mail (noun): 1. Practice that has been going on in national elections for many years without fail or fraud;
2. Form of voting that was expanded during the COVID-19 pandemic for the 2020 election in order to promote health and safety and continue fair elections;
3. Method of voting that resulted in the 2020 election being one of the most secure elections in modern history;
4. Form of voting that has been favored by many Americans, especially those in rural or low-income areas that often have troubles getting off work to go to the polls on election days;
5. Method of “ballot harvesting” that was implemented just to steal the election of Donald Trump, and has resulted in massive voter fraud, dead people voting, and has been a terrible tragedy for the country;
6. Poor excuse for why Trump lost reelection.
See also: The Big Lie

“Mail ballots, they cheat. Mail ballots are very dangerous for this country because of cheaters. They go collect them. They are fraudulent in many cases. They have to vote. They should have voter ID, by the way.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Voting (verb): 1. Act of casting a ballot for candidates or decisions in local, state, or federal elections;
2. One of the most effective ways the American public can have their voices heard in the halls of power;
3. Something which most Republicans tend to ignore as they have gerrymandered districts and restricted the system enough that they can stay in power, even though they represent less Americans per capita than Democrats;
4. The only true way we can keep someone like Donald Trump from ever obtaining office again.

“It shouldn’t be mail-in voting. It should be you go to a booth and you proudly display yourself… If you ever agreed to it you’d never have a Republican elected in this country again.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Wacky Glenn Beck (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Glenn Beck, radio show host, conservative pundit, and person who sometimes seems like he’s crying out for help;
2. Former contributor and pundit on Fox News until he became too crazy for even Fox News;
3. Sometimes critic and sometimes supporter of Donald Trump;
4. Owner of The Blaze and man that constructed Tomi Lahren, like some sort of piece-meal-blond Frankenstein’s monster.

“You know, we all have our inner demons. I, for one, I can’t speak for you, but I’m on the verge of moral collapse at any time. It can happen by the end of the show.” -Glenn Beck, 2006

Wacky Omorosa (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for Omorosa Manigault Newman, a former White House staffer, and former reality TV star who competed on Trump’s reality TV show, The Apprentice;
2. Unqualified person who worked in the White House and taped her conversations with Trump;
3. Author of a tell-all book about her time in White House and her interactions with Trump;
4. The most ordered cocktail in the Bahamas at 1 AM in the morning.

“Wacky Omarosa, who got fired 3 times on the Apprentice, now got fired for the last time. She never made it, never will. She begged me for a job, tears in her eyes, I said Ok. People in the White House hated her. She was vicious, but not smart.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted August 2018

Waiters (plural noun): 1. People who know more than scientists, according to Donald Trump;
2. People that Trump used as justification as to why masks don’t work;
3. Profession that Trump cost more than 700 million dollars in lost tips due to regulations that allowed restaurant owners to force tipped-employees to do non-tipped work, and split tips with other salaried employees;
4. People who have definitely spit in Trump’s food.

“Waiters. They come over and they serve you and they have a mask. I saw it the other day where they were serving me and they’re playing with the mask. I’m not blaming them, I’m just saying what happens. They’re playing with the masks and so the mask is over and they’re touching it and then they touch the plate-that can’t be good.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Walking Fraud (noun): 1. Name given to Donald Trump by Michael D’Antonio, former journalist and Trump biographer;
2. Reference made to the fact that Trump is a walking lie, not just because he is constantly telling lies about all his accomplishments and everyone and everything in his life, but because of the belief that Trump is acting as a sort of caricature of what he believes he should be;
3. Trump’s ability to pretend to be a tough man, a businessman, and even a human being;
4. The worst rated series on AMC.

“[Trump]’s an actor who’s been playing himself for his entire life, in much the same way John Wayne played himself in every role. And it’s worked so well for him, playing this role of a leader and businessman, that he transitioned seamlessly into his new role as an outspoken candidate and a risk-taker. Enough people bought the act, and he managed to get elected.” -Michael D’Antonio, 2017

Wall, The (noun): 1. A medieval structure built primarily to keep out enemies and/or those who were considered savage or undesirable;
2. Key political promise made by Donald Trump during his 2016 presidential campaign, to build a wall across the United States southern border with Mexico, from sea to sea, in order to keep out immigrants;
3. Structure if ever completed that would have devastated the natural ecosystem, destroyed private property, and cost billions of billions of dollars;
4. Structure that Trump claimed Mexico would pay for, and then cost over ten billion in US taxpayer money;
5. Construction project, which by the time of Trump’s leaving office in 2020, had only constructed less than six hundred miles of wall, most of which was just replacing already existing border fences;
6. Poor strategy for keeping out illegal immigrants considering airplanes… and because it demonstrates a six-year old’s understanding of immigration policy coupled with a particular brand of racism, which completely misses the point that most undocumented immigrants enter the country legally through border crossing points, and then just overstay their visas.

“You’re going to have a wall like no other. It’s going to be a powerful, terrific wall. A very big and very powerful border wall is going up at a record speed, and we are fully financed now, isn’t that nice?” -Donald Trump, 2020

Warriors of Epic Proportions (noun): 1. Text message sent by Ivanka Trump to a group chat that included Donald Trump and his advisors’ days after his 2020 election defeat;
2. Message urging Trump to fight the results with same tone a SoCal yogi uses to encourage her students to keep drinking their kale shakes;
3. Short-lived 1986 cartoon spinoff: He-Man and the Warriors of Epic Proportions.

“You are all WARRIORS of epic proportions! Keep the faith and the fight!” -Ivanka Trump, 2020

We Love You (platitude): 1. Part of the official message that Donald Trump released to the rioters of the January 6th Insurrection;
2. Indication that the rioters were “loved” by Trump and were “very special people” to him;
3. Message that came hours after the start of the violence and too late to prevent multiple deaths and injuries;
4. Message finally released by Trump after countless urgings by lawmakers, sides, and advisors who were finally able to pry him away from the TV where he was gleefully watching the insurrection unfold in real time;
5. Something Trump had never said Don Jr. or Eric.

“I know your pain, I know you’re hurt. We had an election that was stolen from us. It was a landslide election and everyone knows it, especially the other side. But you have to go home now. We have to have peace. We have to have law and order. We have to respect our great people in law and order. We don’t want anybody hurt. It’s a very tough period of time. There’s never been a time like this, where such a thing happened, where they could take it away from all of us. From me, from you, from our country. This was a fraudulent election, but we can’t play into the hands of these people. We have to have peace. So go home. We love you, you’re very special. We’ve seen what happens, you see the way others are treated that are so bad and so evil. I know you how feel. But go home, and go home in peace.” -Donald Trump, 2020

We Need Global Waming (sigh): 1. Offhanded and misspelled claim by Donald Trump that global warming is actually something we need because he was cold one day;
2. Some we particularly don’t need at all;
3. A call for a global reunion tour of the band Wham!.

“In the beautiful Midwest, windchill temperatures are reaching minus 60 degrees, the coldest ever recorded. In coming days, expected to get even colder. People can’t last outside even for minutes. What the hell is going on with Global Waming? Please come back fast, we need you!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted January 2019

Weird Hybrid (noun): 1. Description of Donald Trump by Piers Morgan who describes him as having both: thick” and “thin” skin;
2. Statement made by a man who has known Trump since 2008 and won the first Celebrity Apprentice;
3. TV personality that conducted an interview with Trump and allegedly manipulated the footage to make it look like Trump stormed off the stage;
4. Man who did storm off the stage of his own TV show for getting called out over inappropriate comments about Meghan Markle;
5. Piers Morgan’s nickname in Uni.

“I don’t think he has any real political ideology but he tapped into something in middle America . . . Most guys in business in New York are like Donald Trump. You whack them, they whack you back.” -Piers Morgan, 2017

West, Kayne (noun): 1. Rapper, singer, producer entrepreneur, and all-around crazy person, who was a big supporter of Donald Trump, often wearing a red MAGA hat and visiting him at the White House;
2. Someone who declared his own presidency during the 2020 campaign;
3. Believes that he is a hip-hop god, and an innovator similar to Steve Jobs, claims to be the most influential person in footwear, and is his own favorite rapper;
4. His greatest pain in life is that he will never be able to see himself perform;
5. Time is a myth;
6. Married to a reality TV star;
7. One person who may be crazier than even Trump.

“We’re going to need to get a few breaks to be able to have some places in my hometown of Chicago … where we can create some factories. I think it would be cool for them be Trump factories because he’s a master of industry, he’s a master builder. I think it would be cool to have Yeezy ideation centers.” -Kanye West, 2018

What a Moron (statement): 1. Statement by Dr. Anthony Fauci which was caught on a hot microphone where he called Senator Roger Marshall a moron;
2. Spoken after the senator had finished grilling Fauci with distorted and made-up facts about his finances, many of which were taken from online conspiracies;
3. Exasperation felt by everyone who watches CSPAN’s parade of inane questions from conservative politicians to serious academics and professional witnesses, all so that they can cater to a base of right-wing extremists.

“You’re so misinformed, it’s extraordinary. What are you talking about? My financial disclosures are public knowledge and have been so. You are getting amazingly wrong information… What a moron. Jesus Christ.” -Dr. Anthony Fauci, 2022

Whistleblower (noun): 1. Someone who leaks information to the press, typically about illicit behavior taking place in a government or company;
2. May specifically refer to retired Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Vindman, who was a key witness in the first impeachment trial of Donald Trump and legally reported his concerns over Trump’s quid pro quo coercion of the Ukrainian president into investigating his political rival, Joe Biden;
3. He testified before Congress, and despite having followed all legal channels was fired by Trump after the impeachment in relation to performing his duty;
4. Also refers to anyone who Donald Trump thinks is talking bad things about him to the press;
5. Something Trump can potentially be called due to the amount of times he has blown a dog whistle.

“Actually, I don’t know him, never spoke to him, or met him (I don’t believe!) but, he was very insubordinate, reported contents of my ‘perfect’ calls incorrectly, & was given a horrendous report by his superior, the man he reported to, who publicly stated that Vindman had problems with judgement, adhering to the chain of command and leaking information,” Trump tweeted. “In other words, ‘OUT.” -Donald Trump, Tweeted February 2020

White Americans (noun): 1. Refers to citizens of the United States that are of white light skin color and/or of European ancestry, the largest majority in the country;
2. Group form which Donald Trump almost exclusively draws the majority of his support, mostly through tactics of fear-mongering, lying, and promising a return to a fictional past when things were better;
3. Group who has benefited from and whose ancestors have been responsible for slavery, Native American displacement and genocide, and restrictive voting, immigration, and civil rights laws for minority groups;
4. Majority group who has become susceptible to authoritarian and strongman rule, due in part to a fear of losing their majority power;
5. People least likely to understand what it means to be “white.”
See also: MAGA

“Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day. … I think that the guy is lazy. And it’s probably not his fault, because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control.” -Donald Trump, 1991

White House (noun): 1. Main residence and offices of the President of the United States;
2. Building which Trump turned into a fortress during his presidency, with gates and walls;
3. House where Melania Trump was held captive;
4. Historic residence which had to be fumigated after Trump left office.

“Also, I want to thank the White House Historical Association, and all of the people that work so hard with Melania, with everybody to keep this incredible house, or building, or whatever you want to call it, because there really is no name for it. It is special, and we keep it in tip-top shape. We call it sometimes ‘tippy-top shape,’ and it’s a great, great place.” -Donald Trump, 2018

White House Correspondents Dinner (noun): 1. Annual event in Washington DC where members of the press and politicians have dinner and often take turns telling jokes at each other’s expense;
2. Known for sometimes having controversial comedian hosts, such as Stephen Colbert, Michelle Wolf, Hasan Minhaj, and others;
3. Not a place for politicians with thin skins;
4. Dinner that Donald Trump never attended during his presidency, despite it being historically attended by all other presidents in the past;
5. Historic dinner where Barack Obama insulted Donald Trump in front of the entire press corps in 2011, and humiliated him so badly that he decided to run for president just to get revenge;
6. An event that, in hindsight, maybe should have been stopped in 2010.

“Donald Trump is here tonight! (Laughter and applause.) Now, I know that he’s taken some flak lately, but no one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than the Donald. (Laughter.) And that’s because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter –- like, did we fake the moon landing?… But all kidding aside, obviously, we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience. (Laughter.) For example — no, seriously, just recently, in an episode of Celebrity Apprentice — (laughter) — at the steakhouse, the men’s cooking team cooking did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. And there was a lot of blame to go around. But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately, you didn’t blame Lil’ Jon or Meatloaf. (Laughter.) You fired Gary Busey. (Laughter.) And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. (Laughter and applause.) Well handled, sir. (Laughter.) Well handled.” -Barack Obama, 2011

White Supremacist Goblin (noun): 1. Nickname for Tucker Carlson by Berkeley city councilmember, Rigel Robinson;
2. Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson is a Fox News pundit and conservative political commentator who has been an ardent supporter of the Republican party and specifically Donald Trump;
3. Man who often champions some of Trump’s most extremist and racist views and policies, and is a fellow admirer of strong men authoritarians such as Viktor Orbán;
4. American TV personality who has segments re-run on Russian state television due to the many pro-Russian segments and statements he made following Russia’s invasion of Ukraine;
5. Pundit who often dog whistles and parrots racist talking points and has been named as one of the most important voices for white supremacy by watchdog groups as well as white supremacists themselves;
6. Goblin who keeps telling poor people that they are lazy and need to work harder to earn a living wage when he grew up living off of money from the Swanson frozen meal empire;
7. Man who is only ever, “just asking questions,” and is that so bad? Wouldn’t you want someone who just asks questions? Is it so wrong to phrase derogatory, racist, misogynist, and anti-American statements in the form of a question, even though it is obvious that is what you really think?
8. Dungeons and Dragons monster that can typically be found in the Cave of Confused Foxes, and whose main attack is Feeblemind, a spell that lowers the intelligence of anyone within earshot.

“How, precisely, is diversity our strength? Since you made this our new national motto, please be specific as you explain it. Can you think, for example, of other institutions, such as marriage or military units, in which the less people have in common the more cohesive they are? Do you get along better with your neighbors or your co-workers if you can’t understand each other, or share no common values? Please be honest as you answer this question.” -Tucker Carlson, 2018

Who Shot #AshliBabbitt (inquiry): 1. Refers to several conspiracy theories surrounding the death of Donald Trump supporter and member of the mob that attacked the Capitol building on January 6, 2021, Ashli Babbitt;
2. Trump has publicly pushed the idea that she was shot by “head of security for a certain high official, a Democrat;”
3. QAnon pushed the idea that she was a “crisis actor” and still alive and that ANTIFA was behind the riot on January 6th;
4. Babbitt was lawfully shot by Capitol Police as she tried to gain illegal entry into the door of the US Capitol.
See also: QAnon

“The person that shot Ashli Babbitt — boom — right through the head — just boom — there was no reason for that, and why isn’t that person being opened up, and why isn’t that being studied? They’ve already written it off. They said that case is closed. If that were the opposite, that case would be going on for years and years, and it would not be pretty.” -Donald Trump, 2021

Wild Bill Clinton (noun): 1. Donald Trump’s nickname for former President Bill Clinton, co-found of the Clinton Foundation, former governor of Arkansas, and husband to 2016 presidential nominee, Hillary Clinton;
2. Man, who has a lot in common with Donald Trump: they both play golf, they were once friends, they were both President of the United States, and they were both accused of multiple and credible accounts of sexual assault.

“At a time like [ the COVID-19 crisis], the Oval Office should be a command center. Instead it’s a storm center. There’s only chaos. That’s one thing that never changes: His determination to deny responsibility and shift the blame. The buck never stops there.” -Bill Clinton, 2020

Winning (adjective): 1. Word meaning to finish a contest or perceived contest in first place;
2. Favorite word of Donald Trump who seems to think that all aspects of life can be broken down into competitions that he is either winner, or either being cheated by other people out of winning;
3. Campaign promise made by Trump to his supporters;
4. Something he is going to force Americans to do, even if they beg him to stop.
Not to be confused with “whining,” which is something else Trump is also fairly known for.

“We’re going to win so much. You’re going to get tired of winning. you’re going to say, ‘Please Mr. President, I have a headache. Please, don’t win so much. This is getting terrible.’ And I’m going to say, ‘No, we have to make America great again.’ You’re gonna say, ‘Please.’ I said, ‘Nope, nope. We’re gonna keep winning.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Witch-Hunt (noun): 1. Colloquial reference to an unfair trial or inquiry into baseless accusations, with allusions to the Salem witch trials, where women were unfairly tried and executed for being witches;
2. Words Donald Trump has tweeted over 300 times;
3. What Trump claims happened to him during the Ukraine inquiry and his first impeachment trial;
4. Catchall term used by Trump for any sort of line of questioning that he doesn’t like and feels is not favorable to him;
5. An insult to women, witches, and demons, most of which do not want to be associated with Donald Trump.
See also: Ukraine

“Universities will someday study what highly conflicted (and NOT Senate approved) Bob Mueller and his gang of Democrat thugs have done to destroy people,” Trump wrote. “Why is he protecting Crooked Hillary, Comey, McCabe, Lisa Page & her lover, Peter S, and all of his friends on the other side?” -Donald Trump, Tweeted November 2018

Woke Disney (noun): 1. Reference to the fact that the Disney Company came out against Florida governor Ron DeSantis’ “Don’t Say Gay” bill after facing both internal pressure from employees and external pressure from fans;
2. Idea that pushed DeSantis and the Florida Republican legislature to revoke Disney World’s special self-governing status, a move which made many liberal progressives go, “Holy cow, a corporation has the power of a pseudo-government? Yeah that should be revoked;”
3. Concept that has led Ted Cruz to engage in speculative Disney erotica with elaborate imagery of Mickey and Pluto “going at it” and the Disney Channel turning into Cinemax;
4. Idea that makes a lot of Christian conservatives mad, because before now the idea of an anthropomorphic mouse and seven men living in sin with one sleeping woman was perfectly in line with biblical teachings;
5. Reference at its core represents that Republicans are all for big business and corporate freedom until a corporation does not like the same things they like;
6. Also may refer to that time in 1988 when the zombie corpse of Walt Disney rose up from his grave in the crypts of Cinderella’s Castle and ate three tourists before being recaptured.

“Walt Disney most often cited his most important lesson as that of ‘goodwill always triumphs over evil.’ Today’s Disney promotes a full spectrum of lifestyles that rarely align with the biblical values of good and evil, which God calls us to. It has been said before and it bears saying again, ‘Walt would turn over in his grave’ to see what his beloved company has become.” -Patti Garibay, American Heritage Girls, 2022

Wokism (noun): 1. Philosophy originally started as a left-wing attempt to be mindful of social conflicts such as white privilege, minority rights, media representation, and other issues that dealt with fairness and equality;
2. Word that was co-opted by right-wing circles as a sort of insult, used against politicians and media figures who Republicans claim are “virtue signaling” by attempting to show tolerance and understanding of systemic issues of race, sexuality, and culture;
3. State of being which Ben Carson is never fully in… in all senses of the word.

“You know what woke means? It means you’re a loser. Everything woke turns to shit. Okay, it’s true. It’s true. Look at what’s happening.” -Donald Trump, 2021

Word-Salad (noun): 1. A mash up of words and phrases that often don’t mix together in normal or expected ways;
2. All Donald Trump speeches when he is not using a teleprompter;
3. Many Donald Trump speeches when he is using a teleprompter.

“I guess the rain knocked out the teleprompter. I knew the speech very well so I was able to do it without a teleprompter but the teleprompter did go out and it was actually hard to look at anyway because there was rain all over it.” -Donald Trump, 2020

Word-Salad Database (noun): 1. Collection of Donald Trump ramblings and statements made, all of which have very little connection to one another and are typically confusing when taken in the full context of a larger statement;
2. Catalogue of Trump’s tendency to wander in his speeches to tangent topics and other ideas which only share loose connections with his main point;
3. Name of the newest salad-only restaurant which never ends up giving you your order, but does have cashiers that go on long tangents about how carrots give birds cancer;
4. The Trump Dictionary.

“Crimea was gone during the Obama administration, and he gave, he allowed it to get away. You know, he can talk tough all he wants, in the meantime he talked tough to North Korea. And he didn’t actually. He didn’t talk tough to North Korea. You know, we have a big problem with North Korea. Big. Big, big. You look at all of the things, you look at the line in the sand. The red line in the sand in Syria. He didn’t do the shot. I did the shot. Had he done that shot, he wouldn’t have had — had he done something dramatic, because if you remember, they had a tremendous gas attack after he made that statement. Much bigger than the one they had with me.” -Donald Trump, 2017

Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda (noun): 1. Trump Dictionary Original nickname given for Donald Trump’s regular use of hindsight in all answers;
2. Name that refers to Trump’s tendency to talk about topics of which he has a severe lack of experience and knowledge, only later to come back and claim that he meant something completely different, after the fact;
3. May also refer to Trump’s tendency to play on his supporter’s nostalgia for an imagined and rosy-colored past when “America was great;”
4. May also refer to 2016 Bernie Sanders.

“Many great American soldiers, both of the North and South, died at this spot. The casualties were so great that the water would turn red and thus became known as ‘The River of Blood.’ It is my great honor to have preserved this important section of the Potomac River! -Donald J Trump.” -Plaque located on Trump’s golf course in Virginia, where there had never been any Civil War battle, 2015

Wrong (exclamation): 1. Word most frequently uttered by Donald Trump during his debates with Hillary Clinton in 2016;
2. What most pundits, polls, and people were about the 2016 election;
3. One of the more popular words (most often used as an interruption) from Donald Trump’s arsenal;
4. The United States between the years 2017 and 2020.

“I fully think apologizing is a great thing, but you have to be wrong. I will absolutely apologize sometime in the distant future if I’m ever wrong.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Xenophobia (noun): 1. The fear of people who are different than you, typically relating to skin color, race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, creed, or political affiliation;
2. Word that best describes Donald Trump’s presidency;
3. Word that Donald Trump cannot pronounce.

“Whether it’s asylum, whether it’s anything you want – it’s illegal immigration – can’t take you anymore. We can’t take you. Our country is full. Our area’s full. The sector is full – can’t take you anymore. I’m sorry – can’t happen, so turn around.” -Donald Trump, 2019

Xi Jinping (noun): 1. Leader of the Chinese Communist Party, and authoritarian dictator of the People’s Republic of China;
2. Authoritarian dictator of one of the most technologically oppressive governments in the world, and person who is responsible for the ethnic cleansing of the Chinese minority, Uighurs;
3. Leader who has accelerated a cracked down on democracy in Hong Kong, raising protests from pro-democratic leaders both inside Hong Kong and in the international community;
4. World leader who often lavished praise and ceremony on Donald Trump, typically in order to falter him into compliance;
5. Person whose relationship with Trump has sometimes faltered in the wake of economic tariffs and trade agreements, and especially in the wake of the coronavirus outbreak which started in Wuhan, China;
6. Yellow cartoon bear that likes honey, wears a red shirt without pants, and is fond of saying, “Oh bother.”

“[Xi]’s now president for life, president for life. And he’s great, and look, he was able to do that. I think it’s great. Maybe we’ll have to give that a shot someday,”.” -Donald Trump, 2018

Yo-Semite (noun): 1. Trumpspeak for Yosemite National Park;
2. One of the only national parks that Trump did not systematically undermine, degrade, or sell off to some of the biggest polluters and corporations in America;
3. Trump also reinstated many banned hunting techniques including hunting bears from helicopters and shooting swimming caribou;
4. The worst testing Looney Tunes character of 1946.

“When young Americans experience the breathtaking beauty of the Grand Canyon, when their eyes widen in amazement as Old Faithful bursts into the sky, when they gaze upon Yo-semite’s — Yo-se-min-night’s towering sequoias, their love of country grows stronger.” -Donald Trump, 2020

You Can’t Polish This Turd! (phrase): 1. Disgusting and impossible task in the literal sense;
2. Colloquial phrase used to talk about a person, event, or item that is impossible to make look better or more pleasing;
3. Phrase used by CNN contributor, Van Jones, after the first presidential debate in 2016 in response to Donald Trump;
4. Proof that Trump definitely made politics more… flavorful.

“This is a very sad night for the country. You can’t polish this turd. I’m sorry.” -Van Jones, 2016

Yuuge (adjective): 1. Trumpspeak for the word “huge,”
2. Things that are often big and powerful;
3. Things that are not Trump’s hands.

“I think the brand is ‘yuuge.’ What is it about me that gets Larry King his highest ratings?” -Donald Trump, 2005

Zelensky, Volodymyr (noun): 1. Sixth president of Ukraine, former actor and comedian, best known for his TV role-playing the president of Ukraine;
2. Staunch ally of NATO and the West, he has led his country through one of its most difficult times since the end of the Cold War;
3. Leader who has had to deal with constant proxy wars with Russia since getting into office, and has needed aid from the United States to fend off Russian aggression and annexation;
4. Person who Donald Trump once held up 400 million dollars of aid to exhort Zelensky to announce an investigation into Joe Biden;
5. Ukrainian president during the 2022 Russian Invasion, who stayed in the country to lead the war effort and survived multiple assassination attempts;
6. Man who became a hero to his people and the world for standing up for freedom and democracy against Vladimir Putin;
7. Man that Trump claimed was corrupt;
8. Words that Trump thinks are some sort of coleslaw dish he refuses to eat.

“I don’t want us to look like beggars. But you have to understand. We’re at war. If you’re our strategic partner, then you can’t go blocking anything for us. I think that’s just about fairness. It’s not about a quid pro quo. It just goes without saying.” -Volodymyr Zelenskiy, 2022

Zero (noun): 1. Mathematical concept of nothingness;
2. Concept that requires such a colossal logical underpinning that it wasn’t discovered in Europe and Asia until the mid-fifth century;
3. Donald Trump’s favorite insult;
4. Trumpspeak for someone that Trump deems to be a loser, or of no value to himself personally;
5. Also the number of tolerance Trump’s immigration policies showed toward the most vulnerable refugees and children at the border.

“What a stiff, what a stiff, Lindsey Graham. By the way he has registered zero in the polls. A total lightweight. In the private sector, he couldn’t get a job.” -Donald Trump, 2016

Zodiac Killer (noun): 1. Unidentified serial killer active in the late 1960’s and early 1970’s;
2. Person, according to the internet, who is Ted Cruz.
See also: Lyin’ Ted

“Lyin’ Ted Cruz just used a picture of Melania from a G.Q. shoot in his ad. Be careful, Lyin’ Ted, or I will spill the beans on your wife!” -Donald Trump, Tweeted March 2016

THE TRUMP DICTIONARY

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